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hippy trippin

beautiful idiot

USA | Monday, 11 June 2007 | Views [844] | Comments [2]

Well, i hate to start out my journalings with grumblings and I must first make the disclaimer that while I'm about to list everything that went wrong with my day, I'm sitting on a train bound to Paris, so all-in-all Life ain't bad.

K, now that THAT is out of the way I'm going to make fun of myself for a moment or two.


First of all, it's not "cool" to go to Europe with no itinerary; its fucking stupid and naive and will cost you more money than you ever imagined.

Secondly, I don't care what day or for what it is for that you are arriving in London, you should be prepared for the two following things: an assload of walking and RAIN.


I began my leg to London yesterday in Newark, NJ, where I dressed in jeans, tennis shoes and jacket. THIS is how a smart person would arrive in London.


After seeing myself in the mirror, I decided that I wouldn't like the feeling I would have stepping off of the airplane in London dressed like this. So, I changed into my "cute" (aka "tight") jeans which called for my "cute" (aka 4" heel) shoes. My shirt and jacket were fine but the fundamental portions of my body that should be comfortable while trapsing around London were completely and utterly "off base".

But I didn't look like a slob.

I looked like a fucking idiot.

Add to the high heels and tight jeans 80 lbs of luggage separated into two suitcases (one large and one med) plus a carry on and camera bag and you have the makings of a comedy routine. I couldn't have been more ridiculous looking--and THIS was my idea of "light" packing!! 80 lbs of "light"!

Just FYI also, London train stations don't have elevators so when you have to go underground to get on the train, you'll find yourself dragging whatever luggage you have up and down the stairs alone, so you MIGHT want to pack lighter than 80 lbs and 4 bags later.

After pulling and pushing my "light" luggage around the Victoria train station for about 45 minutes, I finally find somewhere inside the station to store my luggage while I toured around London, and getting rid of the baggage felt so good.

I walked out of the train station to be pleasantly surprised by the fact that there was a tour bus waiting and all I had to do was pay 25 pounds to take a 3 hour tour around London. That made things VERY easy for a very sleepy, very silly American girl.

I do have to give myself SOME credit though: I did prepare for the rain with that purchase of the raincoat at the MOMA in NYC--but I left it in the bag that I had just dropped off at the station storage--which you have to pay for each time they retrieve it for you. And I was sitting on the roof top of a tour bus when I made this realization. Genius move #99 for the day.

The tour was actually really nice. It didn't start raining for the first hour--which was fun. Then, some light sprinkling--which really didn't bother me. About an hour and a half in was when London really said "hello" and for the next hour or so I sat in an absolute rainstorm.

No raincoat, no umbrella, no nothing. Actually, the bus tour company did hand out these little "panchos" for the rain that I would say were equivalent to one ply toilet paper when you really need two ply.

Again, my vanity was really paying off.

I don't know how many of you have seen my hair when it gets wet, but let me tell you in the words of my ex-boyfriend, Francis, who had asked to see it "dry naturally" one day. When I obliged him his response to this was: "Uhm, yeah--now I see why you spend all of that time on it".

Nuff said. Frizzy hair with one ply quality "Pancho" on it? Well---now were talkin' sexy!!

I get off the bus finally--fingers completely pruney from having sat in the rain for so long--and I retrieve my bags. Now I just have to find my way to the Eurostar station to get on the train to Paris. I have an hour and a half to find it, get tickets and get on the plane. Seems ok.

Well, now comes the part where the rain-drenched beauty
queen gets to haul all four of those bags UP the train station stairs alone and down the street about 6 blocks to the Eurostar station.

So, now we have what used to be a cute, blonde American chic pushing around one large suitcase while behind her she is pulling a smaller but uncooperative suitcase that is going in every direction but the one its supposed to while she wobbles around on 4" stilletos that are very distinctly screaming that they have no regard for her whatsoever.

Point taken--thanks.

I get in the taxi queue, which takes about 20 minutes (also in the rain) and have never been so happy to get into a taxi in my entire life. However, the taxi drivers in London don't help you load your baggage into the car and meanwhile while you are doing your 108 lb best to pull one VERY heavy suitcase into a little taxi car, there are about 5 taxi cars behind you and a line of London-ers standing in the rain watching you make a fool of yourself...the day was going well.


I do make it to the Eurostar station in plenty of time to make the train that is two hours later than when my friend Charlotte was expecting me in Paris. Not only that, but the train ticket cost FIVE times what I was told it would cost, so...again with the poor planning: don't do it!


Bottom line: plan ahead and make sure it includes tennis shoes, a rain jacket and LIGHT (and I mean L-I-G-H-T) luggage.

Welcome to London, you beautiful fucking idiot.

Tags: I should have known better!

Comments

1

i wish that was on film >;)

  crystal Jun 24, 2007 6:48 AM

2

oh, trust me...thats ONE video I would NOT have been 'in love' with...although I'm sure it would have given me quite a little laugh. :)

  incessantly_insatiable Jun 25, 2007 12:12 PM

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