.... inevitably. The pictures don't depict the sadness that's found daily at the orphanage but the following stories will -
Since my first day, I've befriended a lovely 11-year old girl called Sofia. She's bright, articulate, helpful and pretty (see the first pic for this story). She's also unhappy. Two days ago she asked me if I'd take her home with me when I leave, because, simply "I don't want to be here any longer". How can you explain that it's not possible, though you know that you could give her a better life? How do you say "no" when she looks straight into your eyes with hope?
Then there's Richard, one of the 10+ babes I've been tasked to take care of. He spends a lot of time crying and of course we think he's hungry or thirsty (which he invariably is) but what he really craves is to be picked up and cuddled, or have his back rubbed until he manages to fall asleep.
Pamela is 8 months old and can sit up but isn't even trying to crawl and looks like a 3-month old due to lack of nutrition and care. She's so weak that when I try to get her stand on my legs, they buckle underneath her. I've now got her on a regular regime where I exercise her legs two or three times a day, to try to build up her muscles.
Every day, at least one of the babes wants to be carried all day and cries uncontrollably when you put them down, which you have to do, both because you have other work or other children to see to, or simply because they are just too heavy to keep carrying. Sometimes I am able to walk away and other times, it's too hard and I go back for a last cuddle of the day.
All the children (i.e. the under 2s) have ringworm and rashes in some shape or form. I don't know yet what can be done about this and frankly, until the goats and dogs are removed from the children's area, there's not a lot of point of taking them to the clinic. The animals are free to roam wherever they please and of course, they love the children's food and water ...
I cry just looking at the tiny babies in my arms because you know that their future is bleak. They may be lucky enough to get an education, but there is no substitute for a parent's unconditional love and this is what each one lacks, to a boy/girl/baby. They all have shelter, food (more or less) and social contact with others - but no adult with whom they can form permanent attachments. We volunteers do our best but know that we will leave in a matter of weeks or months. The orphans are not so lucky.
It all makes me appreciate what I have and what I've been able to give to Simon and Matt. There are things that I can still achieve in the little time I'll be working at the orphanage and I hope that I can make a difference to some of the lives of these kids, however small that difference may be.
Madame has turned out to be not so heartless as we first thought. I don't know how much she genuinely cares for the children in her care, but she's willing to listen to us and to take on board our suggestions (admittedly, we inevitably have to pay for them!) The babies are now washed and their nappies changed on a regular basis (they weren't wearing nappies when I arrived two weeks ago). The clothes are washed and put into boxes in the area dedicated to the babies, rather than randomly placed around the orphanage. They get food more or less when they're hungry rather than wait till official mealtimes too.
