t+65
HAITI | Monday, 18 April 2011 | Views [463] | Comments [9]
Note: some bad words in this entry.
Wow, talk about a day of massive mood swings: the culmination of Jiella's months of preparation became reality today when we opened a new soccer field complete with hand built bleachers and freshly welded goals with nets and all the fixin's. To celebrate we hosted a 9 team tournament, including a our own ragtag team. The team that beat our team in PK's went on to win the tournament.
And tonight we had our 3rd breakin on the base where locals came onto the roof and slashed multiple tents. Tonight their take was high: cash, cameras, ipods, wallets from many different tents.
So. There's a part of me that says "Fuck'em - I'm buying a plane ticket outta here tomorrow. Let the fuckers rot in their stink. Set fire to the fucking place and walk away."
I know that's harsh. I know that's a knee jerk (emphasis on 'jerk' perhaps?) reaction. I know I'm letting the actions of a very few color my perception of Haiti as a whole. I know WE should have done more to mitigate the weakness in our perimeter/guards/security.
Yet none of that removes that basic reaction: the pricks are stealing from us while we are here giving all we can to help them rebuild and regroup after the devastation of a terrible earthquake.
Furthermore I know that the best thing I can do to prevent this from happening again in future generations is to go on building schools. That's the best bet hand down.
Earlier this week one of our volunteers was accused of being a racist - and others of us have been accused of that as well. Yeah, I'm a racist: that's why I left my job, my life, my loved ones, my friends, my dog, sold most of my belongings and put the rest in a storage locker to spend all the money I could gather from the sale of said belongings and whatever folks were willing to donate to me to come down here and spend a year helping you get your feet back on the ground.
Yeup - it makes perfect sense that a racist like me would do something like that. Because I'm such a cold hearted hateful prick.
I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I really didn't think it was gonna be this hard.
I'm really struggling to find the gumption to go out on site tomorrow in the face of what's happened. And I just got back from break. This is NOT good.
This is supposed to have been a POSITIVE experience but right now I'm struggling to find that sense. Help?
grr.
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