I did Plaza Playtime today instead of my normal work routine. It was fun but also trying at certain moments. Not sure if some of the kids are little rascals or if they are operating out of a space of need and scarcity or something different yet. At one point I was opening up my bag to take out some yo-yo's and there was a near mini riot of hands and jerking of one another to get them out of the way and be first. It was mostly boys on the girls, but also some younger/older ones. I got a sense of which ones might be 'bad seeds' or somehow untrustworthy but I ignored it and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. I don't know this culture or language so I could be misunderstanding the events and attitudes.
As an example, at the art station where we were coloring on paper ripped from a coloring tablet most children were content with a sheet and once they'd colored or drawn their way up one side and down the other they'd want another sheet. But there were a couple of boys that decided they needed many sheets at once or that they could only use one side before they needed a new one.
So the question becomes: is this a stage many little boys go thru? I don't recall seeing that sort of behavior amongst my peers (but then I don't recall much of my childhood). Or, are they coming from a place of so little that a few sheets of paper and some crayons mean so much they feel compelled to horde and steel?
And in the end, two of the boys ran off with two of my Yo-Yo's. But one (the one in the
video) I seemed to touch with the toy. There was a click for him with it. And he respectfully returned the Yo-Yo as well as informing me that the other two had run off.
Now, onward to a bigger subject: should I stay or should I go? It's become clear to me that I could easily stay on here: there is much to be done as
HODR is beginning School 4 of an intended 10 with a deadline of sorts set for January 2011. Staying on to try and complete that goal would be a fantastic accomplishment and would certainly fulfill my primary goal of 'feeling like I really made a difference'.
Yes, yes, I know: 'Leave it to Mike to take things to the nth degree". I hear it loud and clear.
But there is another reason behind the madness: there is a new prime directive brewing inside me. To leave behind a series of schools is wonderful but to also be able to train a local Haitian volunteer in the ways of carpentry and higher construction skills and methods than are normally in use here would be off the charts. "Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him to fish, feed him for a lifetime".
What stumbling blocks are there if I extend my stay? There's Lucy to consider, that's for sure. There's the storage of my crap at various places to think about - some of it would likely need to be reorganized and that would fall to someone besides me. There's meds to consider as well as the shots I've gotten that are designed to protect me for a certain period (a period shorter than I'll be here if I extend). There's fundage to look at: car insurance, locker storage, travel insurance, change of flight fees, etc. And finally there's my mental fortitude. That's the big one - the one I tacked onto the end, there. So far so good but I really need to wait until my second MHB to gauge my direction and strength.
The Haitian government is going to release the official candidates for President sometime tomorrow. We are on alert to be extra aware of the things going on around us for at least the next few weeks.
Tomorrow is going to be a helluva day (well, by the time anyone reads this it will be today down here): Scooter will have been gone 2 years. I'd like to share something of him and how his existence and death brought me to Haiti with the other volunteers but I'm not sure if that's appropriate. In the end I decided that it was not really appropriate to share at the meeting. I did take the afternoon off to reflect and think about Scooter. I took Matt's motorbike out for a meandering ride around Leogane pretty much getting totally lost out in the 'suburbs' (dirt roads and little village like clusters of buildings or IDP (Indigent Displaced Persons) tents).
It's storming here in Leogane and there's some ugly weather around the city. We do not have any internet right now and I'm bitter about it. I really need to connect with someone at home right now. I really want to tell y'all I love you and I'm doing well. I need a fuckin' hug, dammit!
This has been a really rambling entry coming at you over the course of a number of days. I've been feeling very conflicted and confused about the future. And now mourning the past.
Sorry I've been out of touch the past few days: been standing in front of the toilet trying to decide whether I should sit or kneel. Weak today but feeling well enough to take a few moments to sit in front of the computer.
Team Leader School Build Statement: BUILD SCHOOLS! A Most Noble Profession: learn proper techniques to use a circular saw, chop saw, table saw, drill, sawzall, hammer, level, chalk line and more. Blind frame walls, stack and roll trusses, build desks and hang doors, etc. Learn the following terms: crow's foot, nailing schedule, 3-4-5, line and plate a wall, king stud and header, truss, purlin, toenail, and 16 penny nail. Learn the teamwork, teambuilding, and leadership needed for making a pile of lumber into a place of learning!
