When my boyfriend tries to placate me, I call him "Chamberlain", and when I'm particularly combative, he calls me "Churchill". I was combative today, but with none of the good reasons Churchill had... I'm having difficulty adjusting to life as a full-time-job-hunter and as much as I keep trying to set it aside till January, to go off and be drunk and happy along with all my other limbo-loving friends...well, I've not been able to and JANUARY HAS COME ANYWAY!!
There is so much running around my head at the moment, from time to finances to Nicaragua (long story) that I feel overwhelmed...regularly...and am not handling it terribly well...however, there is one little thought that keeps rattling around in my head, whenever I can drag my head off my arms long enough to think properly...108. I'm realizing more and more that what I want my one TRUE new years resolution to be, is to SUCCESSFULLY (if only once) complete 108 sun salutations in a row by the end of the year.
It seems impossible and totally atainable at the same time. As always, in severe over-compensation for my UTTER lack of organization, I shall have to be a little OCD about it. There may even be charts and calendars involved. And no, the irony that my search for Zen-ity should revolve so heavily around charts, has not escaped me... But part of Zen-ity is humility and I humbly accept that I am closer to Pig-Pen than I care to admit, and I have to aim for Lucy to get anywhere at all...
That said, the chest-gripping anxiety that has followed me around the last few days seems to have relaxed somewhat since making this decision, allowing for something that is completely mine, and private, and wont be measured or invested-in or argued about by anyone but myself. Something that I have complete control over. And I finally feel I can say something up to a couple of hours ago, I was unable to... So Long, and Thanks For All The Fish 2010, I can't wait to see what this great big world has in store for me in 2011.
