So we’ve been in Florence for the last three days, and it has been a really cool experience so far. But, before we go into our Florentine adventures, we felt we needed to let everyone know what we learned while in Portugal. And there was a lot we learned, indeed. Tomorrow we’ll go into detail about our first Italian pizza and gelato since arriving, as well as our Tuscan Thanksgiving dinner…
Things we’ve learned in Portugal:
1) Despite the 19% alcohol by volume, you cannot drink enough Port to make the uphill(s) walk home easy. Especially if you’re only hopping from one free tasting to another.
2) If you want to maximize your visits to Lisbon’s lovely museums on the cheap (that is, free), you have to get up before 10am on Sundays and be willing to view some of the exhibits at a sprint.
3) Contrary to what the cab drivers tell you, they do not speak English… or Spanish.
4) Contrary to what the post office personnel tells you, they also do not speak English or Spanish.
5) Some of the people asking for money on the streets are particularly good actors, but their stories need a few rewrites (super-parenthetical time: A man came up to us, pretending to be calling someone on his phone, and acted incredibly relieved to find someone who spoke English—despite the fact that we were in the city centre, 30 meters from the tourism office and surrounded by loud Americans. He went on to explain that (cue the tiny string quartet) he and his girlfriend’s car ran out of gas and he needed a Euro or two to get enough gas to get home. This, despite the painfully obvious fact that we were in the town centre and there is not a gas station within 10 kilometers of it in any direction… and no stalled cars either, for that matter. But still, I had to hand it to him, “the stressed out, can’t get a signal on my dying battery cell phone and my girlfriend is pregnant with octuplets, and we need half a liter of gas so we can get to the next gullible tourist” routine was refreshing next to the sad little ladies who hold out their hand on the church steps as you exit, masterfully playing on your guilt when you have just been surrounded by Christ’s selfless sacrifice… ).
And now back to the things we’ve learned…
6) Pizza Huts in Portugal rock.
7) If you want to “score” some “hash,” all you have to do is go to the town centre with Andrew… everyone he walks by offers it to him. Some offer twice. Alternatively, you could stroll into your host’s living room sometime after breakfast and before 3am. It seems to be pretty prevalent there, as well.
8) It is difficult to take a shower without a shower curtain. It is embarrassing to take that shower without a window curtain. It is delightful, though, to step out of this curtain-less shower into the nice, chilly pool of water that awaits your feet on the bathroom floor.
9) If you think the dogs in Marseille were “messy,” you aren’t ready for the dogs in Lisbon. In the day you must keep at least one eye on the ground at all times, and at night you are better off stepping only on the white bricks… or taking a cab.
10) If you’re ever invited to a “Posh Halloween Party” that requires black tie attire, wear jeans. You’ll fit in with almost everyone else, and the guy that brought the tux will be mistaken for the waiter.
11) Also, don’t ask your housekeeper to serve food at the “posh” party. Once she sees the “posh” mess that will be waiting for her the next day, she’s gonna call in sick… for a week.
12) Tiramisu is better without coffee.
13) The benefit of having the only TV set in your room is you get to bargain with your flatmate for free Italian lessons.
14) The detriment of having the only TV set in your room is you may get hooked on old episodes of Extreme Makeover (plastic surgery AND home editions), cheer for Sherlock Holmes, and sit through 15 minutes of the same three commercials in a loop, just to see if an English movie is coming on next.
15) While your host may cook you a going-away dinner, there’s a good chance she’ll miss it because she’s on a diet and/or has scheduled two work meetings during dinnertime. Don’t be alarmed, though… this may improve your dining experience.
And finally,
16) Your best friends in Portugal are the older ladies behind you on the bus, the Italian down the hall, and the guy that brings you the Pasteis de Nata.
P.S.- As a special treat, we uploaded some of the Portugal pictures (yes, “Finally, it took forever, blah, blah, blah” ~Richard H. King). So now, everyone can see what Portugal looks like through the eye of a shiny new camera. Oh, and on one of those clotheslines hangs the laundry of two very famous world travelers…
