Exactly one year ago we left New York for an adventure we couldn't predict would change our lives in the way it did. While we had both travelled before, this was our first time planning and prepping completely on our own. We had followed other people's itineraries but never our own and we were about to do it half way around the world. We were scared. We were excited. We were nervous. We were hopeful. One year later we are not the same people.
I know we left you in the lurch after Korea. We really did want to update everyone but it turns out returning isn't as easy as you would think. We still have days where we wake up unsure if coming back was the best idea and the struggle to find some sort of working routine has been challenging in a way that is impossible to explain. We ache to get on a plane and explore. We yearn to be away from everyone we know yet are ecstatic to once again have access to everyone we love. That simple Netflix and Seamless night we longed for on the trip has become too commonplace. We need adventure, challenges, new faces, the unknown....
We returned from Korea to New Mexico where we could rest and recover without the pressures of a busy bustling rushing city- where green chile was in abundance; sunny skies and wide open spaces provided a backdrop for all the hikes or runs we could want. Despite the beauty of Canyon de Chelly and the Painted Desert, despite the glorious tastes and smells of the southwest, and despite the comfort of family and the familiar it was soon excrutiatingly clear the Land of Enchantment is not where we belong. The glorious feeling of being able to read labels on medicine boxes and take a shower without the entire floor becoming a soaking mess was overshadowed by the overwhelming sense that this was not the place for us. So we ran.
We ran back to the widespread waiting arms of New York. The sights, smells, and sounds greeted us with the enveloping warmth of a mother greeting a long lost child. We were home. It all felt right again. But this too was short lived.
Because we had returned a month earlier than planned we were displaced. We knew this would happen, but as the days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months our hopes and dreams for our return faded into the distance. It is a challenge to return from such a long trip but to return to a place that is not yours is beyond a simple challenge. It is standing at the base of a mountain that feels taller than Everest with no equipment. For months we smiled our way through welcome home dinners, meetings, interviews, and nights out only to return "home" feeling exhausted and defeated. While we love everyone dearly those who truely understand the pain of return are few and far between. Life did not stop while we were gone yet we were expected to be able to jump right in. How? We are not the same people.
This is not to say we haven't experienced our share of wonderous and exciting events. June brought the birth of Goodheart's nephew. If nothing else, this child was worth coming home for. We love this baby with the passion of an aunt and uncle who are going to spoil him to no end. We moved into a wonderfully large 1 bedroom apartment at the end of September, immediately next door to our old studio. We are now the proud owners of a real bed and full fridge. Whitecorn was hired within 2 weeks of returning to New York and is teaching a fantastic group of 1st graders at Brooklyn Friends School in Downtown Brooklyn. Goodheart is all set to *finally* shoot his short film next weekend. Life moves on and so do we.
About 2 weeks ago we were graced with the visit of a dear friend. We met Caroline in Cambodia on a long, winding bus ride to the middle of nowhere. We disembarked to find we were all scheduled to volunteer at the Elephant Valley Project in Sen Monorom. This brave solo traveler quickly became one of our dearest friends. We later met again in Vietnam where we all desperately needed a familiar face. Caroline is one of those beautiful, fearless people who puts her heart and soul into the toughest of situations because she believes in the equality of humankind. After Vietnam she flew home to Switzerland before returning to her job with the Red Cross and has been stationed in South Sudan ever since. I could go on for pages about the amazing work she does abroad but that is not why her visit was significant. Caroline's visit was grounding in a way we never thought possible. Not only were we able to reminisce about our adventures, we were able to talk beyond that. It was our first real opportunity to bring a part of the trip into our everyday lives. It was a chance to share a piece of ourselves with someone in a way that so many people had shared with us throughout our trip. It made us feel at home.
We have our good days and our bad. Slowly but surely we are finding ourselves again and settling in. I know everyone craves updates and information but some days it's hard to get out of bed. We're not remotely moved in or unpacked. Whitecorn is in the middle of parent teacher conferences. Goodheart is in the heart of the previously unknown world filmmaking. Just know that we are here. We love you and are doing our best to keep moving forward one step at a time.
