Ascot. the word brings to mind royalty, horses, fashion and fascinators.. well I have to say I saw all that and more and perhaps a little bit more into the seedy world of the racing wonderland that I wanted to see...
Prepared with my polka dot dress, black fasinator, heels and matching bag and pashmina, and one of my closest mates over here, I began the trek up the hill to Ascot.
When the hill gradually lessened, bringing to view, I saw the flag, Royal Ascot and I felt a flicker inside, my stomach did a flip flop. And then I heard a english girl behind me go, 'fuuck, i hope I see prince william today, ' and it kind of summed out the style of some of the girls there.. in a word, one of my favourite words, a skank and I have always been one to call it as I see it..and there were a few..
There were jordan look a likes, there were orange girls- desperately tanning with self tans that have made themselves go orange in the process, girls with dresses a quarter of the size of mine, in fact I was one of the only girls there to have a dress that went just below my knees... but in sayng that, it made hte day more fun..
So many characters, so many old dears placing a bet and kicking up their heels, and so many young guys dressed up.. in fact during the day i saw
- a team of jockeys ( not the real deal, but talking to girls later, i saw that severeal of them managed to convince the girls that they were in actual fact jockeys towards the ends of hte night),
- a group of guys dressed as scotsmen
-a group of men dressed as fosters beer bottles
- men dressed in dresses.. utterly hilarious, complete with fascinator or hats..
- lots of cougars - women above their 40's trying to dress like 20 year olds...
- and posisbly the funniest ones, was a gorup of kiwis, who decided it was their goal at the day to crash tackle every wheelie bin they saw.. my goodness it was hilarious, they called it wheelie bin rugby...
So yes, it was an interesting day, I couldnt resist on betting on a horse called Tudor Key, for obvious reasons and unfortunately it stayed true to its 40 to one odds, and came last.. and i also bet on a horse called young mick. which came third.. so i recouped my losses. but perhaps the most exciting thing was people just threw their money around, i found a 5 pound note on the ground, 2 pound coin, several pound coins.. I turned into the money scavenger during hte day lol..
The queen put in an appearance and waved to everyone, and we descend into what i nicknamed the 'groove tent', a live band was belting out every tune possible, including some awesome queen tunes, such as 'we are the champions' ‘boheniam rapsody’, ‘we will rock you’ that just made everyone erupt into a sea of dancing.. then some of the drunk ones got the wonderful idea to pick up one of their mates and put them on their head to dance, all of a sudden there is a sea of people grooving on peoples heads and then the people holding them, move them together and I actually saw a girl and guy getting on ontop of their friends heads.. it was utterly priceless.
for reasons unbeknown to me, everyone opened their umbrellas, and started dancing with their umbrellas in the air, i have never seen anything like it, it was so bizzare... but such a fun atmosphere, but my goodness when the english get drunk they get beyond drunk, they get completely and utterly legless.. the amount of girls who were barely able to stand was just shocking.. ive been to races back home, but this was just incredible and very very sad.. I kept on the water, had a cider or two and enjoyed myself, but my goodness they were a mess... the amount of girls dancing with their boobs out, flashing their undies and being downright disgraceful was overwhelming...
the crowded trains and the wait for teh train was the definite low light but the highlights definitely outweighed the low lights..
But to put it in comparison for those back home.. with the doomben or eagle farm here are some points of observations about ascot..
- u can bring ur own alcohol and food and have a picnic there..
- there are more than enough toilets, hardly ever a wait and they are regularly serviced.. very nice toilets with lovely lighting.. u actually dont look as shit as u feel.
- there was no line up for food, there was every type of food imaginable and so much of there was enough for everyone.
-my tip is - get there early and leave late, that way u avoid the most of the crowd.
-other than the presence of the queen, the actual races werent that different to races back home but there was more grassy areas and the entertainment made the day, the live band rocked it.
on the way home some drunk idiot started mouthing off about australians to one girl, picking on her and suddenly realised that 3 quarters of the train were actually australian and he shut up quick. The loser had insinuated that Australians are the most racist race in the world which made many of our blood boils. We were extremely annoyed, u find when u leave ur country, ur patriotism just magnifies so much. I have never been more proud to be australian than living overe here...it makes me appreciate everything that is great about being in australia and to call myself australian.
I loved ascot, but in saying that I think I am happy with experiencing once and thats it.
I must admit the saddest part about the races was on the way back to the train we noticed a whole group of british girls laughing and crying with laughter, and there was this bus blocking the view.. and suddenly the bus moved.. revealling three women in their fifties, with their panties around their ankles peeing in the gutter on the side of a busy road.. it was just so sad, and everyone, was laughing.. I didnt actually find it that funny.
the races and the alochol seemed to bring out the ugly side of british culture but at the same time, the best in the south africans, australians and kiwis that were there. There were some absolutely stunning dresses, but unfortunately i dont have any pics to put up, i didnt want to risk taking ym camera there, just simply to risky.. so i will put up some pics from a mate as soon as i get them.
anyways all in all, the moral of the story is asoct was one hell of an adventure.. and im looking forward to my next one.. PAMPLONA, with running of the bulls in july..
xx jess
