Excited from climbing Bartle Frere in Northern Queensland the other day and the beautiful Blue Mountains in New South Wales, I eagerly planned the next hike. I decided to focus on “The Misty Mountains” south of Malanda near Cairns again in Northern Queensland, give or take 50km south of here.
It’s a network of about 130km of short and long hiking trails (or walking tracks for the Aussies) in the “Wet Tropics World Heritage Area”. It is fairly recently developed with many of the tracks still being worked out. I would highly recommend not taking this area lightly and talking to the Rangers first before heading out. Mind you, I did and they said it would be fine. Not!
Failure to read and heed the small print:
- - “Wet Tropics” – the words “wet” and “tropics” mean something.
- - “Real Wilderness Experience” – uh, duh!
- - “Highest rainfall in Australia” – uh, duh!
- - “Trails subject to flash floods” – not today, surely. Right?
The forecast said some showers overnight and in the morning, clearing during the day. On the drive down the clouds were still really low and the drizzle was pretty heavy. But it started clearing up with some pieces of blue sky by the time I got to the trailhead, so I figured it wouldn’t be so bad even if it sprinkled a bit. Off I went.
The trail was visible but a bit overgrown, there was a fresh tree down that needed some clambering. Then the first creek, no big deal. Hop, skip and jump. Couple of pictures, on we go. Up comes the second creek, more riveresque than creekesque in actual fact: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1izqYGMG2o
Then it feels like a I have thorn or something sticking in the back of my pants so I scratch it and feel my pants, nothing, and keep going. Damn thing keeps stinging and gets worse. So I pull up my pant leg to look, boots covered in leeches clambering to reach skin with two of them already attached on the back of my leg. Nice.
My pet leech: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7fMt3auhlE
The longer I stand, the more get on my boots and the more get on my legs. Of course I didn’t spray myself before I started, there weren’t any flying bugs so I didn’t bother. I luckily had the heavy guns with me, 98.5% DDT, no shit. Poured it on the ones that were attached and they finally dropped off and then covered my socks, boots and legs in the stuff and the leeches hated it so stopped climbing. After I got back and washed my socks, the damn things were partially melted from the chemicals.
Since my pants seem to be catching the damn things rather than keeping them off, I strip down to shorts and DDT.
I later find out bare legs are bad in long grass becauses of the abundance of ticks (which I avoided). No winning on this one. Oh and did I mention "stinging trees"?
A bit further on after 40 minutes, another HUGE tree down and it starts raining.
And the "officially marked" detour is no better...check out the pic below and the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85UInacyn80
At this point I seriously think of turning back: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmcKu8cznz0
My legs are bleeding from leeches, the trail is a mess, the weather is crap. This is where the crazy concept of
“escalating level of commitment” or “good money after bad” kicks-in.
The hope that in 5 minutes more the trail will improve and life will
get better. It didn’t. And 5 minutes later, I thought, give it another
5 minutes. And on it went until IWTFL (It Was Too Fucking Late).
I'm a reasonably intelligent person, turning back was the logical and sensible thing to do, but either stubbornness or pride or both made me continue of course. That's how stupid tourists (like me that day) get in the news.
Finally got to the last creek and the last 1.5 to 2 hours to hike out and proceed to have to wade in again over the ankles, so was totally soaked for the remainder of the walk and needless to say was left with no sense of humor whatsoever. The trail was very overgrown and hard to follow, had been seriously blocked in several places resulting in bizarre detours, I'd almost gotten lost once, of course there on my own with not a soul around again, totally muddy and leech infested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-X79g_tpKw
Needless to say I've never been happier to see my car in my entire life...
The freaky and almost tragically funny addition is that I get back
to the Retreat that night and swing by the owner's house to let them
know I'm not dead or lost. I'd left word with the day person that
morning where I was going and when I'd be back. Turns out the owners
are gone for the weekend and I see a note from the day person to lord
knows who saying "#6 has gone for a hike, left at 6pm and haven't seen
him back yet. I'll see if he's still out there in the morning..."
Damn,
so if I'd gotten stuck out there, I'd have been covered in leeches in
about 5 minutes with no way to get them all off and would have been
there for potentially 12-18 hours complete with feral pigs and lord knows what interesting wildlife forraging overnight. The tragically funny part is that
the person who was minding the shop that night was what seemed to be a
young female Japanese exchange student who really spoke no English and
giggled a lot. I'm sure she hadn't paid a bit of attention to the
note, or perhaps even knew what it said. Nice, very nice.
And to top the day off I killed my first large (previously) living thing with a car by flattening a wild turkey on the property that ran out at the last minute. Horrified I went back to see if the thing was still alive. Thankfully and quite obviously it wasn't. Guiltily and gingerly I grabbed it by the foot (it almost fell apart) and tossed it into the woods to hide the evidence.
I went home and told spidey on the wall all about my day, he was a great listener and very supportive unlike y'all who are going to snicker and make fun.
