Look at me! I'm SandraD Back Home

I’ve had many people writing to me that they are envious of where I am. I do have an interesting job and travel can be such a rewarding experience but I wonder where the envy comes from. Perhaps people think I am free here with no responsibility? I also thought I would have more freedom here, freedom to be myself away from the confines and expectations of home. In some respects that is true but I also have responsibility. I have responsibility to Intrepid, for my passengers who are on my trip, to my surrounding environment, to the local community. I still have to pay my mortgage, taxes, feed myself, clothe myself … so what is freedom anyway? Is it to be without responsibility? I used to see responsibility as a burden, something I would have to carry with me. If only I could be free of all these responsibilities, then life would be good. I could do what I want, when I want and how I want. Many of us like it that we have responsibility. It gives us a role, something to worry about, something to occupy our time so it takes us away from the big questions: why am I here, what is my purpose, who am I really. Often we get trapped in our own prisons be that our job, a boss we dislike, parental authority, financial issues, our partner, our mortgage, home renovations, the problems of the world. I have felt my own prison in Italy. One night in Verona, a beautiful city full of romance and colour, I sat in my hotel room, alone and on my bed. The hotel room was how I would imagine a prison – room enough for one bed and a tiny bathroom and not much else. It had a small window which you could only just open to get some air. It looked out onto a landing full of air conditioner units. I felt totally and utterly confined, imprisoned, unable to breathe. I couldn’t go back to where I was and I couldn’t go forward. I was stuck in this unmoving, lifeless air. It was then that I realised that I constructed this environment. My attitude to it was what made me short of breath and feeling hopeless. Some of the greatest people of our time have felt freedom in prison – Martin Luther King Jnr, Nelson Mandela – they have been able to transcend the physical and find something liberating in their choice to be responsible – responsible for taking a stand for humanity and responsible for looking beyond their current reality. It‘s why we need to dream. Dreams help us to escape the prison and to search for a better way. Responsibility and freedom is possible – it’s a state of mind - we can choose how we behave and we are responsible for our actions and choices. Responsibility doesn’t have to be a burden, it is all part of the human experience and I wouldn’t have it any other way.