'Ladies and gentlemen the next stop is Agra Cantonment'. After four and a half hours, the constant lingering smell of piss and God knows how many shouts of 'Chai' we had arrived in Agra. The train had left Delhi on time, but then managed to fit in two unscheduled stops and a two hour delay. Despite these things it was possibly the best train ride I have ever been on! I had traveled a distance of 130 miles, the rough equivalant of Coventry to Blackpool, for the princly sum of 120R or, a quid fifty. Eat your heart out Virgin Rail!
The conversation in those four and a half hours was a bit of a strain mind you. There was only so many times I could tell someone with a rudimentary grasp of English that: 'I'm from England, Coventry? near Birmingham?' Before the usual response of 'ah yes, Birmingham, near Manchester' coupled with a look of utter bemusment became so frustrating that I had to jam on my MP3 player. I think that a lot of Indians just lift random phrases from guidebooks to practise their English on poor unsuspecting westeners and look smart in front of their mates. I shouldn't judge though. I have barely spoken a word of Hindi and am managing to get by ok, so they must be doing something right.
Beyond the slightly one dimensional conversation and the general chaos the journey manage to pass without further incident. A taxi arranged by the Guesthouse we were heading for, Colonel Lambdas, picked us up from just outside the station and headed into the traffic. Between dodging numerous Rickshaws, cows, people and even horse carts the driver managed to pass on a pearl of wisdom: 'To survive the roads in India, you need three things: A good horn, quick wits and lots of luck'. Maybe I should put that seatbelt on then? What's that? No there isn't one!
We arrived at the Guesthouse without incident and were introduced to the Colonel, top bloke with the best beard ever! He showed us to our room, a two bed palace with two roof terraces and satellite TV for only a tenner a night! Perhaps a little indulgent, but I'm in the honeymoon stage at the moment and will probably be staying in flea pits soon. After some fantastic Indian home cooking the Colonel announced that there was beer available and that we could probably get the Man Utd V Middlesbrough game on the TV. He however, neglected to mention that alcohol was strictly forbidden for sale to anyone other than defence personnel. Oh well!
