On my last day in Berlin I feel like I should be out visiting
museums, snapping photos of the remaining Berlin wall and picking up
souveniers for family members at home. Instead I am frantically
completing our group's financial spreadsheet, double checking flight
plans and job searching for this summer. Thankfully, it is a drizzly
afternoon so I feel little obligation to get outdoors, especially since
I mailed home my umbrella on Friday in anticipation of summer weather.
And amidst my final day of T.A. duties I am finding time to reminisce
with the students about the "epic" 10 week adventure we will soon add
to our list of life accomplishments.
At
some moments it feels like ages ago that I arrived at SeaTac airport to
greet these 12 college "kids." I remember walking towards security and
wondering to myself how I was ever going to survive the 10 weeks that
lay ahead. I was already exhausted from being so enthusiastic and "on."
How was I going to sustain that for over 2 months? Turns out, I wasn't.
I would be learning the lesson that even a free trip abroad can seem
less exciting when you discover the challenges of working 24/7. I would
need to navigate the precarious territory of balancing the roles of
being an authority figure and a peer to these students. I would have to
figure out the best way to deal with my own emotional highs and lows in
order to appropriately do my job and model appropriate self care.
My
first real challenge as a T.A. came when I had to lead myself and two
of the students (along with all our luggage) through rush hour on the
Madrid Metro to our hostel. We'd been seperated from the rest of the
group, but I was excited and ready to get to Madrid as soon as possible
and "prove" my worth as the T.A. While in Madrid I discovered that I
would have some real challenges in store in combatting group gossip and
helping students cope with genuinely tough stuff. My quest to rid the
group of gossip and drama would in the end turn out to be my own
challenge to let go of my need for control. My hope is that some hurt
feelings were prevented and unlikely friendships bloomed as well.
In
Sevilla I learned that being "game" or seizing the moment was not
always the best option and we all faced the fear that our trip might be
cut short when the professor's daughter was in an accident back home.
However, we all endured and a family game night combined with some
group tears and prayer brought us all closer. In Granada I discovered
that even the most prepared of T.A.s still make mistakes and
unfortunately the students missed out on one of the best parts of the
World Heritage site, The Alhambra. Barcelona proved to be a city that
challenged the students, as 8 girls piled into a crowded (as therefore
steamy and smelly) room for the week. I thankfully avoided the drama
and stench in my 2 person room and prepared myself to say "Adios
Barcelona" (and "Adios Spain") in a few short days.
By Paris the
girls were starting to get on eachother's nerves and I was soon going
through Spain withdrawals. Heading to France put me on the same playing
field as the students, in a country where I spoke none of the language.
I empathized with their anxiety about travel and rediscovered my
"Inexhaustible Self" thanks to a 2 day museum pass. Then it was off to
Strasbourg where the students had a taste of Germany (it was across the
river) and the opportunity to sit in on an EU Plenary Session.
Unfortunately, we all faced the challenges of reaching our limit with
our prof's "flexibility" mantra.
Next it was off to Weinheim to
enjoy outdoor sports and family meals. The lucky few of us got away for
a weekend while those that remained found themselves missing home
without the distraction of tourist attractions. We headed to Erfurt in
need of a change and we got it in the form of our German prof who'd
arrived from SPU. The students wowed him with their mastery of the
German language (this is what happens when you need to get by in a
small German town) and he wowed us with his enthusiasm for travel. We
embraced the beauty of Germany's history in seeing opera, concerts and
musicals. It was a much needed respite before heading to Erfurt where
we discovered the other side of Germany's history in our viist to the
former Buchenwald concentration camp. I pulled out my psych unit
toolbox to prep the students for the emotional experience. Thankfully
we were also able to relax and rejuvinate in the 4 star hotel we stayed
at where we roomed next to a pro soccer team and possibly Obama's
secret service team.
Finally we arrived in Berlin. Mixed
feelings abounded. Even the most homesick now wondered if they were
really ready to return to reality. How to deal with a life where your
dilemmas involved more then whether to spend the afternoon napping,
journaling or drinking coffee with friends? Of course, a couple of the
girls on the trip with boyfriends were more than ready to get back to
the states and their feelings restored my own enthusiasm for the single
life. This week we spent time going to the opera, discovering the rich
(and often painfully recent) history of Berlin. We discussed our
favorite memories, most loved cities and memorable quotes. We accepted
the reality that this will never be the same again. Back at home there
will be other friends and obligations competing for our attention. Some
of us may not even return to Seattle. But regardless of what awaits us
back at home we have all reached a point of gratitude for this
experience.
Today I sat having lunch with a group of my students
in the bar in the ground floor of our hostel and "On the Road Again"
started playing. Hearing the lyrics brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I am
more than excited for the adventure that awaits in the next 3 weeks. I
am meeting friends I made on my own European Quarter in '05 to enjoy
the Amalfi Coast and after 10 weeks of watching others fall in love
with Europe I will have the chance to watch my own sister catch the
travel bug. I will be discovering new cities in Italy (best of all the
birthplaces of gelato and pizza!), returning to my home of 1 month in
Alicante where I will get to hang out with one of my profs from my
language school and I will end in Madrid, my favorite city in Europa.
But still, I have bonded with these students. Who will know what I mean
when I say "uh-oh" or realize the significance of "vamanosing?" And
what about moments like this afternoon when I was wandering through
Alexanderplatz and at an open air fruit stand I heard the song "Day and
Night" playing (it is basically my theme song of the trip and all
anyone has to do is hum the first few notes and I am dancing!)?
There
will be new memories made and new friends to hang out with in Seattle.
Friends who are excited to seize First Thursday or Seattle Symphony
Campus Club. Who may be up for Salsa dancing or The George and Dragon.
I've had moments during these past 10 weeks when I wondered why I was
here? How in the world had I wound up in Europe with a group of college
kids? But today, on my last day as their T.A., I am realizing there was
absolutely no other place I'd rather have been in Spring '09 and that
this was exactly where I was meant to be. I only hope they head back to
the states feeling the same way.
Thank you EQ '09 group for an amazing experience!!!
