Now that fall is here, I'm continuously aware of the decision I made earlier this summer to remain in Seattle rather than return to Spain to teach. With the return of rainy days, I can't help but wonder what the transition to fall might look like in Madrid and I often find myself daydreaming how different life would feel if I was half a world away with the soundtrack of my days ringing out in an entirely different language. Despite my daydreams, I do find myself remaining confident in my decision to stay in Seattle and turn my energy towards applying to grad school. But now in the midst of the application process, teetering on the verge of commitment, I find myself fearful that my opportunity to have a real "adventure" is slipping through my fingertips. Any money for potential travel will be spent on application fees and all too soon my time will be committed to research subjects and patients, leaving no time for exploring the corners of the world.
Amidst these fears I find myself desperately needing a change of perspective like the one offered by Miss Fadiman to Starbucks consumers. Yes, my days may resemble one another here in Seattle more than they did in Spain and there are certainly more responsibilities filling my calendar than if I were backpacking through South America, but it is far from the truth to say that my life is not an adventure. Take for instance, the unexpected events of last Tuesday. I awoke in the middle of the night spitting blood, was reassured by my dad that it was nothing to worry about and fell back asleep, only to awake four hours later...
still spitting blood. Needless to say it was back to the hospital for me and I was ushered into an emergency surgery (but first had the chance to ride down the street in an ambulance--my first ambulance experience!). More time off work. More time away from the gym.
But it has all been a blessing in disguise because all the time resting on the couch has allowed me the opportunity to buckle down and get serious with grad school applications. And herein lies another adventure that I often fail to realize is staring me right in the face. I am set for a couple months ahead filled with excitement and unexpected moments as my academic future begins to materialize. Still, in the midst of writing personal statements and shelling out money for transcripts, it's hard to see anything resembling adventure.
A few months after graduating from college, I was offered the opportunity to move down to Las Vegas with my former college roommate. Living in this tourist saturated city with the chance to see the glitz and glamor from the perspective of a resident was something that had always enticed me. A recent graduate, still without a job, I was eager to commit myself to something and the adventures that inevitably lay ahead in Vegas seemed like just as good of a choice as any. However, in the back of head remained a nagging feeling that this was not truly where I was "meant" to be. I was active in volunteer positions I loved, was thoroughly enjoying rediscovering my social life that post-college life afforded and knew I was guaranteed my dream job at Children's psych unit if I could just manage to patient. But along with the nagging feeling that I should stick around, remained a nagging feeling that I would be disappointing and dooming myself to 9-5 job type of life completely devoid of excitement if I remained in Seattle.
It wasn't until a long impromptu talk with my research supervisor regarding my decision that I realized that what I truly longed for was an adventure, something which she reassured me was completely possible to encounter here at home. However, she was quick to warn that finding adventure at home required a conscious effort on my part. Whether moving to Vegas, or spending a few months in Spain, placing yourself in a new and, at times, uncomfortable environment is bound to bring you face to face with adventure. Amidst the familiar surroundings of Seattle I need to make an effort to shake things up. Explore new parts of the city, engage strangers in conversation and continuously place myself in circumstances that are a little less than comfortable.
Thankfully, in my unpredictable work environment adventure is not too hard to find. And riding the bus is bound to lead to inconvenience, new encounters and plenty of people watching opportunities. And again, so much of finding adventure seems to be in changing your perspective. Glimpsing take away moments while running errands, embracing the fullness of the moment and never forgetting that no one has ever seen tomorrow.
