Melissa's Travels

The day that seemed like it would never arrive is now here. After a blissful, event-filled three and half months away from my job I'll be returning to the psych unit at the hospital tomorrow. I can't deny that I'm looking forward to seeing familiar faces, interacting with patients and discovering how my travels have better prepared me for connecting with patients and co-workers alike. However, tonight is a bit reminiscent of the last day of summer feeling that I haven't felt in years. I've never been much of a person for transitions and knowing that the days full of opportunities for reading, writing and siestas are coming to a close is leaving my heart frowning. In the two weeks since I returned from Spain I've become accustomed to awaking when I please, staying up until 4am more often than not and avoiding driving at all costs (both rising gas costs as well as my abhorrence for being behind the wheel account for this). However, after Spain's win today in the Euro Cup left me aching to be back in Madrid, I realized it will be good to get back to work and get my mind off of how much I long to be sipping a cafe con leche in Plaza Santa Ana, studying in Retiro Park or spending a Saturday in the Reina Sofia. Especially now that it's unlikely I'll be returning in October I need to find reasons to be excited for being back at home.

Along with working to pay bills and hopefully move out this summer, I'm also going to keep myself busy by attending several weddings in the months to come. It still baffles me that every summer I find myself with an even greater number of friends getting married than the summer before. The first wedding to kick off the "season" for me took place last night. Although I've known for months that my best friend from elementary school was getting married, the reality of it didn't hit until I greeted the rest of my childhood friends at the wedding and witnessed her escorted down the aisle, her dad at her side and the same grin on her face that she had back when we were performing magic shows for our families at age 7. As I mentioned, the past few summers I've seen several friends get married but this was the first person I'd known when I was younger to enter into this crowd. The first with whom I have memories of playing M.A.S.H. with and envisioning our dream husbands, weddings and subsequent lives. There's something about playing Barbie wedding with someone for years and then seeing them living out that fantasy years later. This is where it hit me that I am actually old enough to be getting married. Yes, my mom has been pointing out for the past 4 years that she was married by my age, but it wasn't until last night that I fully felt realized that the people getting married now are not just out of college and potentially rushing into things. They have careers, condos and now spouses. Maybe it's just so hard for me to believe because I feel that I am at such an entirely different place. Living with my parents, with a part time job and a good seven years away from securing a career. It's hard to have time for guys, let alone dreams about marriage when you're set on committing the next decade to becoming a stellar Clinical Psychologist.

Not to mention that there is the feminist part of me that views marriage as an outdated ritual that leads to nothing but an end to freedom and adventures. Maybe this is why following the wedding I decided that rather than go home with my dependable ride of mom and dad I decided to convince a friend from high school to stay and tag along with me for what I was certain would be an adventure filled night. She was hesitant at first, but after researching the situation and being reassured several times that we had nothing to worry about, we decided to go for it. Unfortunately, 15 minutes after my dad's car had left the parking lot we discovered that our newfound friends were just as clueless as for how we'd be making it back to Seattle. Here we were, my friend and I with a group of 5 guys and no means for getting home. Worst of all, our last ditch plan of calling a cab turned out to be useless. It turns out that absolutely no cab company in the entire greater Seattle area services Woodinville. Or at least that was the case at 11pm on a Saturday night. After many failed attempts to locate a cab, one of the guy's sister's showed up in her car that would fit exactly three of us in the back seat, which was five seats too few... Having given up on the hopes of getting to Seattle we decided to settle for the ride to Kirkland that she offered in hopes that cab companies were more favorable to people calling from this part of town. I wont go into details as for how 9 people were able to travel the ten minutes across town, suffice to say that it was not the safest way to get there.

Two hours and a late night snack at Shari's later, we were rescued by my friend Brett. I'd spent the night excited to meet new people and hear interesting stories. In fact, this is something I've loved about my time post-Europe, discovering that I can still continue to meet interesting and exciting people even when I'm not traveling. However, having Brett drive 45 minutes across town to save us from the characters roaming the Kirkland Shari's parking lot made me realize that despite the novelty of meeting new people, nothing beats having longstanding relationships and knowing that you can really truly count on someone to be your friend. It reminds me of this corny poem I learned back in Kindergarten, but which has remained true throughout the 18 years that have followed (although unfortunately I've had to be reminded of this truth the hard way...): "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, but the other's gold." I'm so blessed to have these friends that I will connect with no matter where our lives take us, whom I can count on to see me through what life has in store and who will pick me up at 2:30am no questions asked.

While I sat with my friend last night trying to figure out how we were going to make it across town to our homes I couldn't help but apologize that our attempt at having an adventure had gone so wrong. "Are you kidding me?" she responded, "I don't think tonight could have gotten any more adventurous..." And I guess that's what it's all about, a matter of perspective. The fun doesn't have to end just because you don't know what lies ahead. I will find myself fulfilled in new ways as I return to work, just as I'm sure my newly married friends are going to be enjoying their new lives together rather than fretting about what they're missing out on being married. In the end, what you have to do is just enjoy what you have in the moment, whatever that may be. A woman I know was recently hit by a car, winding up in the hospital in critical condition and reminding me just how unsure the future is, how uncertain it is that we can avoid tragedy. So you simply can't say no to enjoying the moment and letting your life take you wherever it pleases. Whether that's to traveling the world, graduate school, marriage or elsewhere doesn't matter much to me as long as I've enjoyed the moments that preceded it because that will give me the confidence I need to take that next step and get ready to enjoy all the moments that lie ahead.