Melissa's Travels

When you go into a bank/bakery etc, it's standard practice to ask 'Quien es la ultima?'

Who needs a dryer when you have a washing line outside the window of your apartment?

You are more likely to call your friends tio/a, nena, chaval, macho or even tronco than their real name.

Love it or hate it, you can't escape reggaeton.

You answer the phone by saying 'Yes', (well, or 'Tell me') and when identifying yourself you say 'I'm...' not 'It's...'. But when you try those tactics back home, everyone thinks you're mad or rude!

You carry on buying UHT milk when you get back home and your friends think this is disgusting but you can't understand their point of view.

Jamon, jamon y mas jamon....

If you eat a lot of something, you're not going to 'turn into' it, you're going to 'get the face of it,' e.g 'te vas a poner cara de chocolate.' Somehow a lot more amusing!

Drinking coffee out of a glass is entirely normal.

When you know how to the use the metro when the map is in Spanish.

You have encountered numerous people haciando un pis in the streets.

You have encountered tiny children wandering the streets.

You stayed in the Madrid til 6am because the Metro doesn´t start.

You´re life span has been shortened 5 years because of the second hand smoke.

You have seen a cigarette box that says ¨smoking can cause a slow and painful death¨

You have learned that deoderant is obviously not necessary.

You have trouble speaking both English and Spanish.

You´ve left the house to go out at 1am.

You have a lisp...

You know what Joder means.

You know what Corte Inglés is.

You have seen Pizza boys on Mopeds.

You have seen old people out at 2 am

You know the differnce because tengo calor y estoy caliente.

You have walked an hour to school

You write on graph paper and not lined paper

You have learned the true meaning of a cell phone bill.

Personal space = 0cm.66.

You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is a good idea.

You can't get over how early bars & clubs shut back home - surely they're shutting just as you should be going out?

You've been part of a botellon.

Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos seems so rude.

You're shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun - surely they should wait until at least late June?

On msn you sometimes type 'jajaja' instead of 'hahaha'

You think that aceite de oliva is a vital part of every meal. And don't understand how anyone could think olive oil on toast is weird.

You don't see sunflower seeds as a healthy snack - they're just what all the cool kids eat.

You know the difference between cojones and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao, pollo and polla, estar hecho polvo and echar un polvo...and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!

On some Sunday mornings you sometimes have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up.

You don't see anything wrong with having a couple of beers before lunch if you feel like it.

Floors in certain bars are an ideal dumping ground for your colillas, servilletas etc. Why use a bin?!

When you make arrangements to meet friends at 3, the first person turns up at 3.15...if you're lucky!

When women think that clear bra straps are in fact invisible.

Te cagas en la leche....

To avoid that cheap Eristoff vodka you have to ask for 'un esmirnoff'

When you add 'super' in front of any adjective for emphasis

If something is great, it's 'de puta madre'

Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: 'bueno,' 'coño,' 'vale,' 'venga,' 'pues nada'...

You know what a 'resaca' is.

A bull's head on the wall of a bar isn't a talking point for you, it's just a part of the decor.

You know that after 2pm there's no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.

You know Bimbo isn't a slutty woman, it's a make of 'pan de molde' (which, incidentally, isn't mouldy)

The sound of mopeds in the background is the soundtrack to your life.

You know that the mullet didn't just happen in the 80s. It is alive and well in Spain.

Blonde girls actually start to think their name is 'rubia'