So it's 4am. That's a pretty good accomplishment on my part. I've been trying SO hard to stay awake for MOST of the night so that I'll be WIPED on the plane and maybe I'll sleep. I'm terribly excited about inflight movies. I love inflight movies. And all the free food, though lets be honest it's never good, but you always feel like MAYBE it will be just this one time.
Things I'm not excited about?
Leaving.
This doesn't mean I'm not excited to come home, it just means I don't want to leave.
I'm sitting in our almost completely empty room, where I've lived for the past 5 months with Lindsay (and let's face it, practically with Paris and Danny and Grace as well, since our room was basically the common room) and it's depressing. The walls too white where our pictures used to be. We pushed our beds together so we can all sleep in here, which makes the furniture placement awkward and and not what I'm used to.
Grace is sitting on the floor, straightening Lindsay's hair for the trip and I'm freezing, waiting for my sweatshirt to come out of the dryer. In 2 and a half hours, I will basically leave Melbourne behind. I don't consider a taxi ride and waiting in an airport STILL BEING in Australia, no more than going to the Houston airport means I've been to Texas.
This is the last time I'll sit on this bed with my lap top and hang out with these people. We're a bit ridiculous all hanging out at 4 in the morning. Danny has to sleep because he works tomorrow. He pretends like he's real badass and isn't going to be too torn up about us leaving, but I think he likes us pretty well and will probably miss us when he stomps up the stairs tomorrow afternoon and realizes we aren't there when I don't peak my head out to say "Do you HAVE to stomp EVERYWHERE?"...he may get sad even earlier if he showers and fondly thinks of us lecturing him on how he needs to hang the bath mat up or we'll get another mushroom.
Paris has the horrible task of going WITH us to the airport and then sitting around for four hours waiting for HER flight. I mean, on the plus side she's saving on transport, on the downside she has to sit and think about us till she goes home. I told her to make sure Spider and Annabel don't judge us based on the movie I made.
Gracie has to stay in the house and all day and think about how we're not here, though, knowing her and Jewell, they'll sleep all day : )
I have a feeling the 14 hours to LA will feel like I'm leaving something, and from LA to Chicago to Dayton will feel like coming home. I hope that my excitement beats out my grief, at least for the first few days so I can get used to the idea.
I'll miss talking to Paris through my wall and coming up with ridiculous stories/words to see if we can convince Danny they are real. I will miss greeting Danny when he comes home from work (sometimes with candy if he's had a good day and wants to make sure we are happy too). I will miss finding Grace buried in my bed when I come upstairs, leaving behind the BEST smell in the world when she climbs out. I will miss being able to roll over and ask Lindsay what she thinks happens when someone dies when I can't sleep at night. I will miss Jewell and her DELICIOUS doughnuts she always brings home from work. I will miss hearing "Are you okay baby?", "Baby, are you there?" from Sean and Tish's room downstairs. I'll miss how easy it is to hop on a tram. I will miss how pretty Melbourne is at night. I will miss the lulling effect of a trip to the city on the tram with a book. I will miss standing at the top of the hill in Burwood and being able to see the perfect skyline of the city. I will miss excessive movies about dance teams and trying to pretend like we know how to stomp the yard.
Gracie girl is curled up on my bed now. "You can stay if you want" she offers. HaHa. Thanks.
Blah blah obviously I will miss it all.
But still, it doesn't feel real. Right now it just feels like I'm going on a cab ride. It doesn't feel like I'm leaving a country I have lived in for five months.
I guess I'll probably realize it at some point in the next 29 hours.
I'll see you in the US of A.
