Things are funny sometimes.
People kept saying, ‘you’re going to have a wonderful time’, ‘you’re going to have the time of your life’, ‘it’s going to change your life’ – and I just thought,
How do they know?
The funny thing about it is, I will return home a
different individual then the girl I came here as.
And while I may not have had this huge revelation that my life had changed for the better, or that I had a clear path on who I was meant to be.
But what I didn’t realize is the fact that I have met people here, people who have impacted me in some small way and places that have left in imprint in my life. What I didn’t realize until now is that those small ways have amounted to something pretty wonderful.
I will never be the same.
Margaret, our fantastic cook and friend, is such a wonderful soul. Margaret has not had an easy life, though no matter her hurdles, she always has a smile on her face. Margaret’s husband was a terrible man, treating Margaret much less than her worth. Sadly, it is believed that he was abusive. And though, the story seems a bit foggy, and she could possibly still be married; in light of her past she was able to break free of his grip and create a new life for her and her son, George (20 years old and wants to be a doctor). Margaret now comes into work, every day with no hesitation or grief. Every time I see her walk in the door, she has a smile on her face. It is just her and her son, and that is all she needs.
Well, and maybe some good food.
Thanks to Margaret, I have learned to make traditional Chapatti and the delicious chips mayai (an omelet with French fries) to carry on with once I get home (in hopes of returning to learn more about the wonders in the future).
Ceci, in a nutshell is just such a lovely human being. Though my Swahili wasn’t up to conversational speed and her English was minimal, we managed to get on everyday through the language of laughs. I’m going to miss that laugh of hers – it makes me laugh just thinking about it. Ceci’s laugh its ironically enough like a creepy old man laugh, high pitched and squeal=y but wonderfully so that you couldn’t help but laugh yourself. Ceci is a previous graduate of GHTA from many years ago, she is responsible for cleaning the house to prevent any (more) cockroaches or ants – she also works magic when it comes to getting stains out of clothes. Ceci and that crazy laugh of hers will be surely missed.
Gabriel is one of the three guards who look after the compound (where the volunteer house and school are). To be able to describe Gabriel in words would be a bit difficult for someone who is so animated and full of life. For someone who has been through so much and carries such burden of his family (Since he is the only member of the family making enough money to support himself, he is often demanded of money – Gabriel and his wife have been saving up to buy a mattress, for months, and will continue to do so a little bit at a time). Through it all, Gabriel never faults and he is always incredibly thankful for anything that was given to him, from a strong cup of coffee in the early morning or a can of insect repellent to protect him during the night shift. Over the course of my three months, Gabriel and I bonded over a strong cup in the early morning before the rest of the house woke up and then again, at night where I would share a spray or two of insect repellent for his feet. I must admit, though it was something we might have seen as disposable – seeing his face after I gifted my last can, was a look of pure excitement, and one I am thankful to have been able to give someone.
Janeth is a member of group three, with a high level of English proficiency. She always fights for what she wants and will stop at nothing to get it. What is most memorable about Janeth is the way she greeted me every morning – always saying good morning with a smile on her face. In class, she always remained actively engaged and always made her self accessible when I needed any assistance in explaining mathematics to another student.
When we visited Janeth’s home for one of our home visits, I was alarmed by the life she had led outside of school. Janeth, her husband and their little boy Ian live in a very small room about 40 minutes from school. The place they call home is run by an unpleasant woman who demands a lot of rent for such a small space. When Janeth’s husband gets his paycheck every month, a portion is taken out to support her in-laws – who own their own (very large) home up the road but can’t manage to find work. It is very difficult to see the sharp dynamic between both of their houses and how Janeth and her husband still have to put forth money every month to support someone sitting on a cushion. And while I was completely in awe of how Janeth’s husband interacted with Ian and how there was so much joy in their little family, I realize that it could be altered. Yet, Janeth continues to strive for an education, despite her difficulties at home.
Bahati is one of our hardest working students. Bahati is only in her early twenties but has been in math class, everyday, ready to learn. Over the course of the three months I have been here, we have had a lot of the younger women drop out of the program due to immaturity (or ghosting). What I find special about Bahati is though she is so young, she has the heart of someone much older. Bahati is a single mother to a little one at home and she still manages to go above and beyond, helping out the teachers and students wherever it is needed. I have no doubt that she will do great things.
Elinipe, or in other words, Mama Elinipe – She will most definitely be missed. Elinipe is a wonderful older woman, in her 50s who managed to put a smile on my face every time I saw her. Though at times she didn’t quite understand the math task at hand, she always spoke up, asked questions, and remained engaged throughout the school day. She was a delight to have in class, and it has been an absolute joy teaching her.
Ludwine was such a delightful woman to teach. What started as a struggle to even understand the words coming out of my mouth, or put words onto a piece of paper – ended up resulting in something pretty special. One particular day, we were playing a game I downloaded from Teachers Pay Teachers called Spin, Solve, Color inclass before moving onto a quiz and suddenly it all made sense. She lit up, sat up on her bench and started participating with the biggest smile on her face. Now, she remains engaged, asking questions when she doesn’t understand, and speaking with the English she has learned. She has come so far in these last three months, scoring a 64 percent on her last mathematics assessment and I couldn’t be more proud of her.
Jescer is a present-day warrior. Jescer is by far been the poorest student in the program and though that means having to walk the hour to school, she is still here, everyday, striving. Jescer’s home visit remains a vivid memory, one I don’t plan on forgetting – a daily reminder to how incredibly thankful I am. Jescer’s father once owned property, in Arusha, where the family thrived. But when their world was lost to the bank and their inability to pay off a loan – they moved to a nearby town of Moshi where the five of them cuddle up in a room small enough to be a closet. The place where they live is settled next to a dump with piles high of rubbish, in direct sunlight on the far side of town; where it floods every time it rains and their water supply is rationed. Jescer defies these obstacles everyday and strives to come to GHTA for an education so she can one day open up her own tailoring business. She is a present-day warrior.
Janeth Fadihli, such a strong woman who I admire greatly – Janeth has always been a top student of group one, scoring anywhere from 70 to 90 percent, and often placing her as third of her group in the mathematics class. But when she lost her husband to an unexpected stroke in the beginning of April, her whole world turned upside down. Janeth’s husband was only in his late 40s, and he left her with a fabric shop and massive amounts of debt. But the thing that continues to shake my core is the last words he said to her, before all went silent. That day, the students had received their English quizzes and Janeth had scored a 95 percent.
“I am so proud of you, keep going”
And that is exactly what she did. The following week, she returned to school and though there were tears in her eyes, she was happy to be here. The women of this program are truly wonderful; they pulled any donations they could, even those who don’t have much, contributed to helping Janeth keep her children in school.
It was the best 10,000 TSH (little less than $5, all we were able to contribute)
I had ever spent.
That week, Janeth came to me with a concern that since she had missed a week of school that she would not be able to catch up in math in time for the assessment. In doing so, Janeth and I met throughout the next couple days as I not only helped her get back on track but she pushed herself to make sure she was ready – she got a 94 percent on that assessment. “Thank you, teacher” she said as tears formed in her eyes. This was her sanctuary and she was going to fight her hardest to keep it that way.
Lastly, Rhiannon, the wonderfully sarcastic manager I had while at GHTA.
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.”
And it has been something that has stayed with me since our talk during my first week of teaching. Rhiannon helped me to recognize the deeper understanding of how I went about teaching – At first, I wanted to teach everyone, hoping that all of them wanted to be taught and that was it. But it isn’t that simple – while you have those students who will engage in what your teaching and show progress throughout what is being taught, there are also those students who the most they get out of this program is making the choice to come everyday. That is it. They will not be geniuses, and they may not even learn what you are teaching them, but they are here. And for some of them, that’s giving them the opportunity to make a decision for themselves. It has helped me to recognize that this experience isn’t this romantic idea that it’ll all work out, but it guides me where to put forth my energy where it is needed. Rhiannon is not the type of person to hold your hand as you figure it out, nor do you want her to – but without even realizing it, she helped me become a better teacher and I am thankful for that. Rhiannon is an inspiration; she puts everything into this organization, to keep it running. It would not be the same without her; I would not be the same without her.
The Waterfall hike will forever be a delightful memory that I will hold close. Something I am so very thankful to have been a part of.
Lake Chala and all it’s beautiful wonders. I will forever remember sitting in silence as I looked over the majestic landscape in front of me. Existing in a place I would have never imagined. I was finally healthy and most of all, so very happy.
Sitting on the terrace and what had become my space on Sunday mornings to sit in contentment as a read a book and drink the coffee I learned to make with a French press (and drink black) as the sun woke up.
My last Saturday was the perfect send off.
A day removed from the rest of the house, just as I wanted it to be. I must admit, being here, in this house surrounded by a range of ages and different types of personalities, I have become that much more comfortable in my own personality and space. I have recognized traits that I admire and traits that I do not – and that sometimes you don’t get along with everyone, it is okay. I didn’t come here to please other volunteers or necessarily make friends; I came here with a dream to teach in a classroom that provided opportunity to women where they wouldn’t necessarily have it otherwise. That was my mission – but in doing so, I not only became increasingly aware of who I am as a person but also of something outside myself. Like the importance of electricity and how we must conserve it (turn the lights or fans off in rooms when you are not using them), the simple task of asking for things rather than expecting it (something I have struggled with consistently across volunteers), the mere effort of being on time or being responsible for the wellbeing of someone other than yourself (making sure the guards are being fed as much food as we consume or given their coffee/tea in the morning and at night). Or even creating an entire mathematics curriculum, containing 9 Modules so that whomever comes in after me will know what to teach, how to teach it and the students can learn consistently for years to come.
I am able to leave something behind that will continue to help and for that,
I am thankful.
But let’s get back to Saturday
Ben is a volunteer who is going to be here for the entire school year, teaching the women business skills. He is the only volunteer I have formed a bond with over my three months here. I am able to be myself without being silenced by many personalities, and it something I will not take for granted. On Saturday morning, we set out early for Arusha, about two hours away (with traffic). With the windows down and the perfect playlist – we were set. Our first stop was Tanz-Hands, an incredible bakery that employs local Tanzanians with disabilities. With that chocolate croissant in hand, anything else for the day was a bonus. And it just kept getting better and better. When we stopped at the Cultural Heritage Center to see if they would resize the ring that sold me back in March, they did it free of charge. I was finally able to wear the piece of Tanzanite I purchased for myself, for my birthday, and add in some really good coffee and time spent exploring old doors and trunks from all over the world – you have a very happy girl. Top that off with the perfect lunch at Rivertrees Country Inn, where we sat in the warm sun, in a field along a river, drinking some fresh iced tea and indulging in some incredible food (I had a vegetable quiche, which was by far the best food I’ve had while I’ve been here). Then we ended the night at my favorite restaurant called More Than A Drop where I had some delicious pumpkin ravioli before settling to a good nights sleep.
All in all, those who said I’d have an incredible experience that would change things for me–
They were right.
Moshi.
Some kind of wonderful.
I'll be seeing you again.
