Well,
it’s definitely been a whirlwind here.
If you haven’t read my blog here is the basics: I have 3 new roommates from San
Francisco who will be staying with me until March 23rd. Within 4 hours of there moving in we
are having a dinner party tomorrow night, yoga at 4 (which I am apparently
teaching), we are starting our own band (since I started taking drumming
lessons and one of the guys is going to play guitar) and well, I think I have a
boyfriend. I’m not quite sure
though.
Background: my first night dancing I went with my
friend Rhiana to Inka Team. I
danced with a few guys and then one of them approached me and asked me if Rhianna
and me would like to go to another club, one out of the center with all
Peruvians (I may have mentioned this before). Anyway, before we went, I was waiting outside with Rhianna
and this guy Hector and we were asking him about the bricheros and how we know
how to spot one and how we want to make sure that all these guys know that we
are not interested in anything more than dancing. Hector just nodded in agreement and said nothing more. He was there to dance. Well, we went dancing after the first
club and Rhianna ended up dancing with a brichero (poor girl) who tried to kiss
her several times even after she explained she has a boyfriend who is from
Cusco and he just got into a fight the night before with someone else who tried
to kiss her (she is super beautiful). I ended up dancing with Hector the entire night. As far as I knew, all the guys (Frank,
Coco and others) are bricheros and Hector was kind of on the outskirts of the
group, but he never made any passes at anyone or initiated any conversations or
anything. I knew he was 23 and
loved to dance (well, I thought he was 23). And we danced the whole night. (I found out later that after I danced with Paco, the first
of the group that first night, he then told Hector that he should dance with me
because I followed really well and I can pick things up quickly.. that’s why I
was invited to the other club that night)
Anyway,
a few nights later I went to dinner with my friend Amilcar and Amilcar invited
Hector because as it turns out, Hector taught Amilcar how to dance salsa and
now they were very good friends.
They also have both taken Vipassana courses (although Amilcar took 14
and Hector only 1) so that made me feel better being around these guys. The next day I received a text from
Hector inviting me to a party. One
of the other guys who was there that night told Hector to invite me (this is
what they do, they collect tourists to wear around their neck) and so I went
with him to check it out. After an
hour the smoke became too much so he walked me home. While there he gossiped about every guy in there, it was great. Anyway, we made a plan for him to teach
me swing and salsa since those are his specialties (love swing!). We met for the first time on a Saturday
morning at 10AM (well actually 10:30 since he was late) and danced for 1.5
hours (50 soles!). Then when we
were leaving we just started talking and then he asked me if I wanted to have
lunch with his mother and sister.
(side track: here, the
“good” boys stay at home until they get married and Hector has all three meals
with his mother every day.) So I
went and then ended up staying at his place talking to him until 8:30 in the
evening about nothing and everything.
I found out a few things:
He is NOT 23, he is 29 (not much better!), he is an architect by day,
wants to be a film producer with puppets and his love is dancing. He also plays piano and classical
guitar. And, he is super patient
with me when I try to speak Spanish and he is always correcting me. He speaks to his mother 40 times a day
and tries to have every meal with her if he can. He wears braces and a scarf everywhere he goes. With time I was starting to crush on
him. I liked the way he expresses
himself and his philosophy on life.
I also liked that he was not trying to make any moves on me.
I
leave and Sunday night I send him a text asking if he would like to have a
lesson on Monday. He was very
happy to do so and we went back to the gym and had another lesson. Afterwards we went to the discothèque
together and danced for a few hours before he walked me home. By this time, I was totally
crushed. Everything he said to the
way he danced and the way he delicately and gently yet firmly dances with all
the girls to the way he covers his teeth with his smile because of his
embarrassment of his braces, it was all precious to me. So I knew that I needed to either get
over it fast because more important than him was my desire to learn dancing..
or tell him and see what happens.
Tuesday
is lesson #3. He comes over and I
am a wreck. (this is when I found
out that they want me for the job and now I just have to let them know if I am
ready to make a commitment for 5 months.. yikes!) so we sit and talk for an hour and a half before the
lesson. Finally he asks me
if I want to dance and I cannot take it anymore. I have to tell him how I feel. Usually ill play around it until the guy says something but
he clearly was not budging and I just was ready to explode. So, I say… I have something I want to
tell you and you may not like it very much. And then I hit him with it, “I know that you were just
talking about how we were friends, but… I’m totally attracted to you. And, not just physically (because
originally I wasn’t interested, he aint that cute). Only after we spoke for 8 hours did I realize that I’m
starting to like you” wow, did I
feel foolish and young and stupid.
And he just sat there. He
didn’t say anything but “wow”.
Over and over again. I really was ready to punch him out. Anyway, after like 5 minutes of “wows”
which is a very long time after you profess your “like” for someone, he said..
“but you don’t want a boyfriend.”
(he said this because every single person I met here I made sure to let
him or her know that I don’t want a boyfriend. ) I then told him that I do not,
but you cannot help whom you fall for.
He then said that when he first met me and danced with me he tried to
gauge if I had any attraction for him and he felt nothing. I told him it was because I thought he
was 23 and that he may be a hunter and that I was not about to get myself
involved with someone like that.
He then said that after our lesson on Saturday he thought about me all
day on Sunday but that when he saw me again on Monday he didn’t really feel
anything from me again. I told him
that I’m not always the best at telling someone that I’m interested in him or
her especially if I don’t know how he or she feel and they are my dance
teacher! He said nothing again and
just sat there. I told him not to
worry and that he didn’t have to say anything just to appease me but that I want
to dance and that’s the most important thing. He told me again how he thought we were just friends and how
he got used to that idea, and that it was disappointing that we couldn’t have
that type of relationship. I
told him that was fine and asked him if he wanted to dance. He still just sat there so I just
leaned my head against the wall.
Next thing I know he leans over and rests his cheek against mine and for
what seemed like forever we just sat there with out cheeks together, taking
deep breaths and I swear, I felt electricity scourge through my body. It was the most intense gesture he
could have given me. After that,
we didn’t kiss for another 20-30 minutes, only touching face to face and
breathing with one another. He
grabbed my hands and held them as he gently pushed against them and then pulled
me closer. (as a dance teacher,
this is what he does ).
Well,
lo and behold we ended up kissing and he spent the night. Nothing happened and I made sure to let
him know nothing will because while I have intense cravings for him, I still am
not quite sure how to believe he is not one of the other types of guys and I
need more time to get to know him.
Well, Tuesday night rolls around and he sends me a txt asking if he can come
over at 6. I was at my drum lesson
so I didn’t hear the phone and he responded 45 minutes later.. “can I?” and
then “are you ok? Should I be worried?”
I finally see the txt and call him back and he says he is already home
and is not sure if he will come out.
I realize he is doing this because he is a little hurt and angry because
I didn’t call him. Not because I
didn’t call but because he felt rejected.
I told him I want to see him tonight and that I will be dancing and I
hope he is there.
I
happened to be with a bunch of guys from Australia and the states and we all
planned to go to mythology together.
I asked him if he will go and he said he might if he can get in but
could not make any promises (other issues there). Anyway, we get there by 10 and he is there with Amilcar and
I am so happy to see him. He is
doing his thang with another girl (a very good friend of his who is also a
salsa teacher) and after 3 songs he finally comes up to me. Its not weird or strange or
anything. He takes my hand and
next thing I know I am twirling around everywhere. He is such an amazing dancer it’s unbelievable. Anyway, after a few songs he asks me if
I want to go to another club.
I tell him I would love to and ditch my “friends” who are only traveling
through anyway so they have to understand! And we head to another club where the Inka Team crew has
been displaced to since their club has closed for renovations since its sloooow
season. Within 45 minutes everyone
is asking if we are together (because that’s how it goes here) and by the time
we leave, it’s more or less a done deal.
The
next day, Thursday, (only now kissed him twice) we wake up and I tell him I
need to go to a doctor. He calls
his mother and a few minutes later tells me its arranged and that I have to go
to his house at 2 and then his mother will bring me to the doctor. He leaves after many farewells and a
dance throughout my entire apartment.
30 minutes later I get a text from him that he will leave work at 1,
pick me up, bring me back to his house to have lunch with him and his mother
and then go back to work when his mother takes me to the doctor. And that is exactly what happened. After the doctor his mother took me to
the pharmacy to get yet another antibiotic (only three days) and then took me
back to her house to make sure I took it with lots of hot liquids and
honey. She also gave me one of
hector’s sweaters to wear and made me take a nap. She also warned hector that he better not let me go
dancing for at least 3 weeks. We
compromised at 1 day. I went home
by 5 to show my apartment to my now new roommates and Hector came at 8 to take
me to dinner and then make sure I went home and stayed covered from head to toe
in warm clothes and drank lots of liquids. I begged him to go dancing since he has gone almost every
day for 2 years and he refused to leave me alone. We sat and talked and laughed and listened to music and had
an amazing time. He began to open
up to me and share more intimate things and he keeps telling me how happy he is
when he is with me.
We
woke up this morning to music and danced again throughout the apartment
accompanied by many dips and swings.
He is so latino without even realizing it.. its in his blood I think J anyway, he left after 2 hours of trying to leave and quickly
sent me a text immediately afterwards reminding me that I must continue to wear
his sweater, have lots of tea with honey and again wrote during lunch time to
take my pill. He obviously has no
desire to be anywhere without me and he has made that known to me and to his mother
and to all of his friends who are still calling and questioning his new status
with me. Although we are very
quick to say that he is my Geisha.
(high class prostitute who dances, sings, plays music, makes tea and
talks to his mother 40 times a day!)
He
is charming and bright and funny and a little morose which makes it exciting as
well. He adores me and takes care
of me and well… I kinda like him.
Which is what he kept saying, that he hopes that I like him. Men here fall fast so I have to be careful
and go very slowly.
Then
on Saturday (13th) we wake up together and spend the whole day
together. We go for breakfast and
then I come back to the apartment for a drum lesson and he takes a nap while I’m
playing and then come back for dinner and sleep. Sunday, another day, we go out with his friends for the
first time since we saw them last after our first kiss. He makes sure to hold my hand while he
is with me and when we go for lunch he brings me salad and tea and makes sure I
eat everything since I’m only first beginning to get better. Then he takes me to his mother’s house
where we eat a second meal (it’s a holiday so she cooked and wants to feed him)
and the whole time in front of his parents and sister he is holding my
hand. His mother then asks me to
join the family on a 5-hour trip to Quillabamba to see her students perform for
the Peruvian Carnival. So family
trip! Oi! And then Michelle calls me.
Michelle
is my friend from the Spanish School.
Turns out she is in the hospital with a parasite and a bacteria. Hector comes with me to visit her and
while I’m talking with her he goes out and buys her food and drinks and then
waits an hour downstairs for the doctor who never comes so he can ask questions
about her health. He is thoughtful
and caring, well at least he knows the exact right thing to do and when.. Anyway, tonight he promises we can go
dancing on Wednesday so I’m very happy. J
We
share stories about all our friends and what they say to us about each other
and how what we can say in response.
He is so sweet. He also
makes sure that if and when I need time without him he wants me to take it. Tomorrow I think I will have to. But I don’t want to. But I know it’s important. J
Oh.h…
young and naïve relationships.. how everything changes…
