Peru

I finally discovered who my heroes are, exactly 2

jssr18 — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 21:48:00 GMT

They don’t always say the wisest things or have the most appropriate manner.

They make mistakes and they sometimes deny them or blame others.

They can be petty and they can be materialistic.

You can predict what they will be doing 5 years from now and what they will say before they say it (most of the time)

They can lay on the guilt (big time) and they can really put you in your place (or someone else’s if you cant find your own)

But they are human. With human feelings and human experiences and human actions and reactions and fears.

And yet, they are beyond human: (I wanted to write subhuman but wasn’t sure if that meant less than human so didn’t want to take that risk)

They have suffered and survived.

They have given until there is nothing left to be given and did so without thanks.

They have denied for themselves to provide a foundation for others.

They have woken up every day regardless of whether or not they wanted to because they knew they had to and collide head on with their reality.

They have dealt with other people’s insecurities, inabilities, inexperience, lack of self worth, emotional mental and physical problems and they did so without mentioning their own needs.

They have put their own passions and self-worth aside to do “the right thing”

They have done the same job over and over and over again year after year after year and they still have hair! (well, one of them)

Do I want to be like them? No, that is not the point of a hero. I am not a hero nor do I want to be. I want to be content and follow my passions and take care of myself. I want to do what’s good for me and get out of situations that cause me personal suffering. I want life to be peaceful without too many roller coasters (why am I in Peru then? Good question).

A hero is aware of the challenges that lie ahead and dives in face first putting their own needs aside. (I never said a hero was the smartest person alive!) But a hero is a hero nonetheless.

And anyone who has been teaching for over 30 years is a hero to me. Anyone who has continued to teach regardless of how they are being treated, their pay, etc. is even more of a hero to me. (the most important thing I found out about teaching is that you NEED a social support system to knock the school system, the administration and the children when you are finished with a long day of snot nosed kids and grown ups making unreasonable demands of you and never rewarding with words.. or you may just go out of your fucking mind). Anyone who can teach for many hours and then go home to more children. (I know, im not narrowing this down, this is a lot of fucking people). Anyone who goes home to the children by the name of Jason and Jessica who can be total pricks at times as well as spoiled, unruly, stubborn and moody. Anyone who then supports them in all their idiocy and deals with the decisions they make that also affect them.

Anyone who is crazy enough to continue with this pattern day in and day out.

Anyone whom I call my parents.

Now don’t get teary eyed… I told you I don’t think being a hero is very wise, especially in this day in age. But, if I had to choose 2, it would be you.

TEACHERS EVERYWHERE ARE INSANE!!!

My discovery channel experiment

jssr18 — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 21:42:00 GMT

I have had no water in my apartment since Thursday. It is now Tuesday. Six full days. I don’t mean to imply I have had no HOT water… I mean I have had NO water. What does that really mean though? Because I wasn’t aware of it until I became a victim to my situation. No one can really be aware until they experience it. Which, is why I now am in complete and total support of any groups that demonstrate, strike, picket, etc. to save water. Without water, we will all surely croak sooner than we think. Its easy to imagine it will never happen to us and we are indestructible regardless of the fact that we KNOW we NEED water. But live through it once (or unfortunately in my case, 3 times, and I can assure you, it is not worth running your dishwasher or laundry every day, its NOT ok to leave the water running while you wash the dishes or even take 45 minute showers (even if you have nappy hair like mine).and it is definitely not ok to be all snooty about your nice cars or gold courses and waste valuable water to wash them.. what for? Seriously! Maybe every once in a while, fine.. we are a spoiled society and we wont give everything up so easily. but buck up people.. it’s a fucking car/ golf course.. its not life.. yet it can be death. And its using a natural resource.. who cares if it feels good.. buy a burger or a dress or something.. that feels good too.. go for a run! I don’t fucking care.. but don’t give me the “I deserve it” because when what you deserve effects the rest of the world’s life resource.. you don’t deserve anything. Ahh.. rant, over.. this is what unfolds…

These are the natural turn of events when water does not exist for you…

1. Cannot flush the toilets

2. Cannot take a shower

3. Cannot turn on the bathroom or sink faucets

4. Cannot brush your teeth or wash your hands

5. Cannot clean the dishes after you have made breakfast or lunch (also cannot clean the vegetables and fruits you want to eat!)

a. Cannot wash your hands after making breakfast/ lunch/ dinner

b. Run out of plates/dishes to use to make breakfast/ lunch/ dinner

c. Vegetables and fruits begin to rot for lack of use since they cannot be washed

6. Dishes begin to pile up

a. Sink begins to get sticky and dirty

b. Bugs begin to infest

7. Toilet begins to get clogged up

a. Bathroom gets stinky and dirty

8. In the middle of the night when you need a glass of water.. there is none

a. Dehydration sets in. at first you try to swallow hard a few times thinking that will help, but with time your throat, lips and brain become cracked up

9. In the middle of the night when you are freezing because its winter here and no heat in any of the apartments, you have no water to put in your hot water bottle which is the only saving grace in this place.. and so your toes, fingers and ear freeze off and you cant sleep. You can put on the heater but it dries you out even more making you crave water even harder

10. Cannot make tea for breakfast anymore and cannot take water with you to work (where there is none to be had). Cannot have a sip of water just for shits and giggles.

11. Again, dehydration gets the better hold of you.

a. Grumpiness settles in

b. Start to feel tired all the time and a bit depressed

c. Your body cannot fight infections; colds, headaches, etc. settle into your body and stay settled

12. Fighting occurs between the roommates about who was responsible and how to get it fixed, yet the laziness and exhaustion from the dehydration keeps anyone from actually doing anything

a. Blame anyone but yourself

b. Or.. just leave the apartment and sleep somewhere else and ignore the problem

13. Begin making friends with people you may have otherwise not been friends with

a. Bring buckets to their house and fill them with water just to flush the toilet and wash the dishes…

b. Bring more buckets to boil water and brush teeth

c. Borrow showers

14. When it gets bad enough, move apartments… natural instinct takes over and survival of the fittest settles in…

So I am moving apartments today and I cannot be happier.

House Guests

jssr18 — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 21:41:00 GMT

What do you do in this situation:

One of my two roommates told me she was having house guests for 2 days. OK, no problem. They were arriving on bikes from Lima (traveling through the Andes for 3 weeks). When they arrived, there took up habitation in her bed and so she left the apartment and stayed with her boyfriend. The other roommate is always working which means by in large, I am now responsible for 2 6’3 guys from Australia and Wales who know nothing, have nothing to eat and are nice but are sprawled out all over the apartment with their shit and don’t clean up after themselves. They always seemed to be around when I was eating so I would offer them my food. They were sick for days on end and used up all the TP and burned out the luke warm water that was left in the electric shower. They were awake before me in the mornings and went to sleep after me in the evenings so always wanted to have a conversation. They are NOT MY HOUSEGUESTS. At first I tried to be the perfect host and give them what they needed. But, when the 2 days turned into 5, 6, 7, and now 8..and their actual host still wasn’t here.. I just didn’t give a shit anymore. Besides that fact that things at school were super stressful because of parent meetings and I was a bit homesick, I wasn’t about to drop my shit to help them out when their host should have been doing that. I did, but regretted it afterwards when I lashed out at one of them. (also because, as my other post says.. I need to learn to take care of myself first)

I may be totally off here. I may also just be in a shitty mood for EIGHT DAYS. But get the fuck out of my house already and stop bothering me. I don’t want to hear about how great you are for riding the Andes or how you know everything and everyone else can shove it or how you both think you are heroes when really you are just broke mother fuckers who had nothing to do with your time so you want to make yourselves feel good. Oi. That’s harsh. Ok, see? I need my old normal back before I break. I will also have a conversation with my roommate to let her know if she wants house guests again, she needs to be in the house to take care of them.

Hmm.. that actually made me feel better. I love a good vent or two.

Life Cycles. Round 4 of.. who the hell knows.

jssr18 — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 21:44:00 GMT

I have now been in Peru for a little more than 6 months. And, I am going through my 4th round of friends.

First: The friend of my friend’s husband. So sweet and kind. But really we spent time together because it felt obligatory when I arrived. Lasted about 2 weeks. At this time I was also living with the husband’s family near the airport and far from the center. So, as you can imagine, I relied on this guy to take me around Cusco and show me things since I didn’t have access to them living so far away.

Second: The cousin and his friends of my friend from college. These guys were NOT my type. They drank, smoked and were major coke heads. They went dancing until 5 every night and when they came home they had another white girl on their arm. The reason I got into this mess was because one of them was dating my now very good friend, still don’t understand this one and living with the cousin of my good friend from home. And, they were all going away for 3 weeks so they offered to let me stay in their home. 2 reasons: it’s a very Peruvian thing to do, extend yourself to someone and 2. Their apartment was just robbed and it would be better for them if someone stayed there for extra protection. I did that for 3 weeks and when they returned it was miserable. I needed to get out of there ASAP. I think I wrote about it.

Third: Moved into my current apartment and brought with me 4 Americans, even though there were only 3 rooms. One girl who lived in my bed for 2 weeks and 3 guys who shared 2 rooms for a month a half. At this time Hector also came into my life and I was smitten by him, his family and his culture. We spent every day together and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Fourth: Hector and I returned from Argentina on separate brain waves. I went from every day of my life being occupied to realizing that I was really quite dependent on him for no good reason since I have survived on my own BH. We texted 4-5 times a day, saw each other every day and danced together almost every night. I was in for a big change. First, seeking new friends. This came quite easy to my surprise. I was sickened by the fact that I lost hector but understand now that its for the best (a later post will talk about this; I didn’t want them but im glad to have had them). Especially after my current friends have had run-ins with him and are shocked that I even put up with him for that long. As a result I met:

1. Natalia, South African Jew who I dance with 3 times a week, go to Pisac with to enjoy the Olympic sized pool in the middle of the mountains and then picnic in the sun until she burns (I’m in the shade of course);

2. Macarla who is my new Australian roommate who I meet at her boyfriends bar to watch the World Cup with and also do ex-pat things with; she is also the one chic here who i have “deep” conversations with and we can be totally honest with each other and she’s a slight bitch so we get along swimmingly (does that even make sense in this context.. “swimmingly”?)

3. Rhiana who is back in the picture only for 3 more weeks before she goes back to Canada. She was out for awhile when she too was preoccupied by the minute with her boyfriend but now realizes she needs to expand a bit especially if she plans on returning and building a life for herself here. But then again.. when she tries to make girlfriends, he Cusquenian boyfriend seems to tie the knot a little stronger and she ends up cancelling every plan she ever makes.. so I think she is out.

4. Christina is from Lima. She and I hang out maybe every other week just to shoot the shit. We also work together and her routine is hanging out til 5 in the morning listening to live music. So, if I ever need to not see Hector or NOT dance, I join her.

5. Suzanne and I have become more friendly but we wouldn’t call each other friends. She is young and from England and works with me. I usually meet her on a Sunday for a stroll around cusco and to buy food for the following week. Its also important for us since we bash some other people we work with so we are able to let off steam.

Then there are the guys that are always on shaky ground since they waver between wanting to be your “friend” then your “lover” then getting fed up because you have not passed “friend” status

1. Neto is from Cusco and a dancer at myth. I have always seen him but never danced with him. He is great fun to watch and I had Natalia introduce me to him after hector and I stopped talking. He immediately asked me to dinner at which I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship. He laughed and understood my concern since every guy who dances slasa in the center is looking for loving. Since then we have gone for dinner and watched a movie and he is taking me to my first soccor game. We text before going dancing and he hates Hector. ( I know its childish, but that makes me feel good J )

2. John. John does not seem to be my friend any longer. He is actually from the states and I have always had this feeling he was interested in me since 4 days after he met me he kept sending me these “silly and light-hearted” text messages that went something like this: “sorry if im stalking you”. Since then I backed away and then we became close again as I was going through my Hector thing and was able to share with him that I was NOT INTERESTED in dating ANYone. He seemed to get the picture until he went to Arequipa for 3 days and returned with 3 books and a box of chocolates for me. He also said he fell in love with Arequipa but is staying here for me. That was too much for me and I know I should have said something but instead I just didn’t want to deal especially sicne I was going through all these other changes, so I pulled back and didn’t call him for a week. When I did finally pick up the phone he politely and indirectly told me to fuck off. I guess I deserve that. (btw, a week later he got over it and we are friends again.. men, gotta love it)

3. Beto is from Lima and took over for the manager at the hostal next to my apartment. We became instant friends since I am always there using the internet and he likes to dance. Not more on that front right now. Hopefully it stays just as is. (update: I go to the hostal almost every evening for a movie and a nap before dancing. We talk and joke around… and he is still a friend and again, im hoping it stay that way! Ive made several comments that I am not interested in anyone or anything here and I think he understands and just wants a good friend too..fingers crossed)

4. Lawrence the jew from the states. His family left Thursday so now I am invited to join him on all his adventures. He bikes, hikes and goes to shady saunas with me.. so he is totally whacky and fun to have around and I KNOW it will only be friends… Im also moving into his apartment and reading all his books. I soak them up every other day!

5. Terrence Miguel is my sculpture teacher from Arequipa and his wife, Liz is from the Jungle. I spend 2 nights a week there with them, their daughter and his father and we just shoot the shit and we carve and sculpt. It really is one of the most therapeutic things I have done for myself in ages. On sculpture number 2, for the brother and his fiancée as a wedding present and wont let him touch it. Last time he did half of my turtle in the teaching process. We will also be doing a sculpture in marble, woohoo!

6. Amilcar is one of the first people I met here. Also from Arequipa (they are a different breed there, amazing). I met him because I found a Vipassana group and he was the contact. He had done 14 Vipassana courses and is the nicest guy around. Unfortunately he also turned out to be Hector’s best friend. (later found out that its his best friend in the “salsa community” but Amilcar knows better to have those best friend trump his real best friends since that community is WHACKED)

7. Franchesco – Franchesco is one of the older and the best dancer in the salsa community. He recently opened his own dance club (no smoking) so after dancing at myth or ink (which only has salsa until 11:15), everyone goes to his club to dance the rest of the night. I knew Fran since the beginning and he chose not to speak with me, fine. After he saw that Hector and I weren’t attached at the hips he began to ask me to dance and offer me drinks (no thanks.) anyway, last weekend he pulled me aside and we had this conversation:

a. F: “I really like you. You are beautiful. If I was to take you out for a nice dinner and drinks in a few weeks, would I have a chance?”

b. J: considering (really wasting time pretending to think) “no, sorry”

c. F: “why not?”

d. J: “already tried with someone in the salsa scene and now its just awkward and uncomfortable around him and im here to dance.. not to have a relationship”

e. F: “that’s not a good reason”

f. J: “its my reason… but I can give you another. I don’t want to date anyone who is on coke and drunk all the time”

g. F: “I can stop for you”

h. J: ‘”I don’t want you to stop for me. If you stop, it needs to be for you”

i. F: “but I need someone to get my life together”

j. J: “that’s not me anymore.. I did that in the past.. I don’t want to save anyone, I can barely take care of myself right now”

k. He said fine and asked me because he didn’t want to assume anything or take anything for granted and now that he knows he wont ask again… although… the following night when I went there (and I will continue to go there) he told me I was getting fat and to fuck off when I wanted to leave early (men here take everything very personally). The next night he didn’t remember anything because as I said he is on coke and always drunk and everything was fine. What I have learned about this scene. Go with a big smile on your face and leave before anyone has a chance to take that smile off. What a life J

But what really is the point of all this mumbo jumbo?

Everytime I begin to feel a bit comfortable here, my entire life changes. It feels as though it is never ending while I really understand that it is a weeding out process of both others and myself. I have always heard it takes a good 2 years to get “comfortable” somewhere and build a friendship base. I have friends, yes, but its not a foundation. They are all also moving around all the time and so this cycle will inevitably continue. Almost everyone I mentioned above is leaving by August, which means upon my return I will have to begin all over, yet again.

Emotionally, my experience has been one for the thrill seekers. Up one day, sideways the next with a few belly-up dirt rollers thrown in. I feel unstable most of the time and I am finally developing a routine for myself. (which, has been interrupted by 2 grown men on bicycles –House Guests, NOT MINE– and lack of water My discovery channel experiment) and has totally thrown me for a loop and brought out the worst in me. The time apart from Hector (now I have had 7 days to do things for myself) has proven to be blessing and a curse. I am now actually able to go out and meet new people and do new things. But, there is something to be said to have someone you can call when you are having a bad day or something really terrific and weird happened to you. Actually, that says everything. And not having that has been difficult. My “girlfriends” all say that I can call them. But things are different here in Peru. When you have a man, (or a man has a you) they become your sole life support and every moment is entangled with the other. Not in a “they are so cute” type of way. But more like in a “he/she is mine and I will make sure of that by supervising everything he/she does.”

That is why even when I go dancing and have not spoken to hector for over 2 weeks, when he saw me dancing with Beto, a newbie to the salsa scene and good-looking (although not my type), he immediately asked me to dance and continued dancing with me throughout the night. Even though he doesn’t want to be my friend, he doesn’t want me to be with anyone else either. Yes, Felix Festa, here I come. Quite pathetic really, but also I know its for the best. But whats for the best is NEVER easy.

I feel like im not even getting to the niddy griddy of anything but its 3:45 AM, couldn’t sleep because once again I have constipated diarrhea (not an oxymoron in Peru) and im dreading waking up to my roommates houseguests AGAIN. Want my life to go back to normal for whatever that normal is here. Normal in my Cusco: freezing myself to sleep, (although I just got a water heater thingy which has proven to be life saving) cold showers if there is any water, abundant supply of toilet paper which does not get flushed down the toilet, heating up my clothes with the electric heater before putting them on so my body can thaw out, 30 minutes of yoga in the morning followed by a mad dash to the kitchen to make 2 lunches to hold me over until I return home after 5 (no food near the school) and then smushing into two combis during my 40 minute commute; then hopping back on the combi and complaining about the day to the other English speakers. Going to sculpture, massage, sauna, dinner, etc. Napping for 2 hours, going out dancing for 3 and then returning to my freezing apartment with my layers, scarf, gloves and hat as I crawl into bed hoping to feel my toes once again. I want my normal back.

An example of my relaxing weekend in a small city where there is nothing to do…

jssr18 — Mon, 3 May 2010 22:19:00 GMT

Friday:

After work I go directly to the Healing Nectar Center to talk to a Jewish Canadian transpersonal and re-organizational healer/ doctor who has been living in Cusco for over 7 years and been studying medicine for 29. His specialities: network spinal analysis, ayahuasca, breathwork, massage, munay ki initiations and chirpractic work.

We speak and he gives me the price for 12 sessions: 600 soles. WHAT??! That’s like 200 dollars for 12 sessions, unheard of. Usually, each session is $125 in the states! So, of course I bite and after 2 hours of talking we make a date for Saturday at 6PM.

Next I meet my American friend from Viriginia, John. John arrived in Cusco last November and has decided to take up residency here. He originally came here with a computer job and has since decided that he wants to be a tour guide. A non-speaking Spanish tour-guide. We went to Claro together which is one of the only two phone companies here to see if they had any special offers. I check every few weeks since making phone calls is really expensive and my life has become about texting. Also, there is no such thing as monthly plans here so every time you run out of minutes you have to purchase a new phone card. Good way to lose track of how much you are spending!

Then we head over to the Molino. I have no idea how to describe the Molino. It is like an indoor outdoor mall with no walls and hundreds of kiosks next to each other all selling the same thing. Little stores that if you step up on one of the stairs, your arms can extend to all the walls (not mine, yours!). its madness and the likelihood that you will step over wailing babies who appear to have no mother nearby, children eating off the dirty, wet floor in dirtier and wetter clothing, grandma’s who haven’t moved a muscle in 2 weeks but smile at you as you walk by with their toothless grins, young women with their cleavage showing but have no time to help you with what you need and young men with un-designer jeans trying to force you into buying something you don’t want and of course, getting something stolen is what makes it so much fun. We spent much time there, having bought nothing once again and then headed for dinner at:

“The highest Irish bar on earth”: Paddy’s. I only went their once since I have no desire to be around beer-drinking, cigarette smoking, football watching gringo’s. One extreme to the other, kind of like India, but not nearly as polar. We had amazing fried food and then I headed home around 7:30 PM to take my 2 hour nap before the night began.

9:00PM my alarm goes off and I stay in bed until 9:30 at which point I pop out of bed, brush my teeth, change my clothes, throw in my contact lenses and head off to the only 2 dance clubs that I have salsa at this time. Inka and Myth. I call my friends Rhiana and Natalia and we start our night at Myth (they are next door to each other with 4 bouncers at each door) and wander back and forth endlessly throughout the night trying to catch the good song and the few good dancers who may not have a partner at that moment. Is it getting old? Of course, that’s why we have to make it interesting. Usually the same music, same 7 men who dance but we are learning more and more every day and really laughing at what little bubble we call Salsero Land. By 11:30 the music is finished. After having fought with Hector (the usual) I decide to leave and meet my Limenian friends (from Lima) out at Bull Frogs which is like a replica of an American bar but smaller and cuter with live music and free. There was me, Cristina her visitng friend and 5 other guys from Lima. We danced our asses off to Nikki (the singer) until I couldn’t handle the guy’s advances. By 2PM Hector was calling me to make “amends” without saying anything and I met him and 2 of the salsa guys in the plaza where we joked and talked and danced outside until 3. By 3 they walked me home then headed home themselves and I slept until 8:00.

Saturday:

Was woken up at 8AM by Suzanne, British girl I work with, who needed to buy furniture, etc. for her new apartment. I had no money left on my cell phone so I had to run out in the morning to look for a place that was open and selling. But, this Saturday was Labor Day so NOTHING was open near the main square. I also came to this realization after I grabbed my laundry bag, which had more than 2 weeks of clothes in it, and was walking up and down my street for 20 minutes with no success. So I end up bringing my laundry back to my apartment and going to Suzanne’s first home (the hostel for 2 months.. CRAZY expensive) to find out she had already left. Now I was pissed because I woke up after 4 hours of sleep and for no reason. But, she called me shortly after to let me know where to meet her and then we spent the next 6 hours going back and forth from the Molino to San Pedro to the Molino to Mega to another Mega to Wanchaq and to her apartment which the landlord seemed to not be there and she was not smart enough to get a key. I wont even go there.

By the way, she bought a great bed for 150 soles and a mattress for 250 soles. Cheap!

So when we left her new apartment to walk to her old apartment I decided to stop by my Friend Rhiana’s apartment (the old apartment that I used to live in and get nauseaus every time I think about it) She had been sick for a few days. So I dropped by and her and her Peruvian boyfriend (lets not go there) were making lunch. So, I stayed for lunch and by 4PM I headed out to do some work for Mary.

4-6 I worked on some races and then by 6PM I went to my first session with Dr. Howard. I have no idea what he was doing and I felt nothing but I figured I have spent $200 in so many other ways that were bad that if this has even the slightest possibility of helping me, it is worth it.

7:30 PM I came back to my apartment and slept until 9:30PM. Was out dancing by 10PM and stayed out until 4AM dancing in 3 different discotechs and 2 bars. And by the end of the night, 5 guys and 3 girls walked home together.

Sunday:

8AM I get a wake up call from Hector. He sounded hung over (since him and his friends were drinking) and asked me to come over as soon as possible. Yes, we have a weird relationship but I was supposed to go over there by 9AM anyway. So I get there and he is sleeping and doesn’t even remember calling me. By 9:30AM he came with me to Terrence Michael’s house, the sculptor. We sat for 2 hours and he showed us his work and we spoke about his teaching style and by the time I left I had bargained for 4 hours of wood sculpting classes a week at 15 soles an hour! WHAT?!?!

From there Hector took me to make keys for the other new roommate that was moving in. Both new roomies are Australian, should be interesting. Cheers. Then I left Hector and met my first new roommate, Macarla and 2 Peruvians for Ceviche which was amazing and lasted 3 hours. We then went home before heading to the sauna for another 2 hours, 15 soles. Came out of the exhausted and depleted but cleaner then we have been for a month. We immediately went to meet Rhiana at Obispo’s where we get (at least 4 times a week) the “Menu” for 7 soles which includes this massive soup, entrée and tea all vegetarian. By 6:30 Macarla and I went back home to welcome Matt to the apartment with all his many crazy and funky clothes. By 9PM I was dead for the night from the weekend.

That is just an example of why I can never relax in Cusco.

The best way to handle problems in Peruvian Schools

jssr18 — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 22:21:00 GMT

1. I have a first grader who writes all his words backwards. I went to the 2 school psychologists and told them the situation. I said I have no idea what the signs for dyslexia or learning disorders are but it may be a good idea to test this child. Chaco (her name) told me to talk to the teacher the year before to see if he experienced the same problem. So, I went to Miriam (Peruvian teacher) and asked her and she said, of course, every time he wrote backwards! Then I mentioned the idea of possible dyslexia and she exclaimed, “oh no! he was just absent from school a lot so doesn’t know his difference between left and right” Now, like I said earlier, I have no idea what the signs are, but I am not going to allow a child to go through another 4 years of school without knowing if he does or doesn’t have it because I’m too lazy to do anything about it!

2. A boy in second grade touched another boy in the crotch. When the administration was told about it, they shook their heads and were just like, “he is going to be such a problem when he is older” and then never mentioned it again.

3. A learning disabled girl in the second grade wants to learn English. But, administration tells the teacher not to let her in the room because she cant learn anyway and she will only disturb the other children. The teacher has to sneak her in when no one is looking.

4. First grade, there is a boy who really does not know his ass from his forehead. When you speak to him he looks right past you and then does not respond and continues to stand there for the next 5-7 minutes. To get him to move you have to gently guide him. Even then, he does not comprehend what you want from him. At recess time he stares at the other children and does not move, just stares. When we are able to get him involed in their games of tag, when he is tagged, he just starts running in the other direction opposite from the other children and they begin yelling at him to turn around. He then turns and just stops and stares at them. One time he even walked head first into a swing set because his attention is nowhere in the present moment. We approached the psychologist (both first grade teachers) and instead of working with the child, she told us to take extensive notes about what he is and isn’t doing in class for a month. Now, call me silly, but isn’t that a month’s worth of time that she could e working with him on social skills, motor skills and every other skill out there since he is lacking all of them?

5. The one copying machine for the entire school breaks down. What to do? Change your lesson plans so they do not require any worksheets!

6. 2 months into the school year and the English team finally sits down to discuss resources that are available to them.

7. When a new English teacher (someone who has never taught before and never went to school for teaching) asks the administration for guidance they respond: we don’t want you to rely on us so do it yourself. Ummm.. what does asking for guidance and relying on someone to do your work for you have to do with one another, especially when there has never been any direction for these new teachers!

8. Laugh about it over wine and cookies at your boss's apartment!

DECISIONS!!! (although some were already made for me!)

jssr18 — Sun, 4 Apr 2010 03:01:00 GMT

My current status: decisions, decisions, decisions

Apartment in Brooklyn: I have to resign my lease for May 1^st. However, my landlady just found out that I am subletting my apartment. (Mary!!!) But we kind of had to tell her last minute. The problem is that when she found out she clearly stated that according to the lease agreement I needed to tell her that I was subletting and get her written permission. Here is her ever so friendly letter:

Jessica,

>After not hearing from you by the deadline, I had a conversation with Mary and have learned that you have sublet your portion of the apartment without my written permission as required by Paragraph 32 of the Rider to Lease. Not only did you sublet without permission, but you told Mary that you had checked with me and that I had given my ok for your sublet, something I would never do without information on your proposed subletter and without checking with Mary first to be sure that she had no reservations about your proposed subletter. Further, you sublet the apartment for a term longer than your current lease, which I would have never allowed. Please be advised that I now have grave doubts about allowing you to stay in the apartment. You must get in touch with me immediately to discuss this situation. I will be having another conversation with Mary on Monday and I will let her know then what my decision is as regards to your tenancy. You will have to convince me that despite the fact that you have violated a substantial provision of your lease that you are a desirable tenant. If not, then your tenancy will terminate at the end of this month when your lease expires and will not be renewed.

>Bari

the second one:

Jessica,

It appears that our emails have crossed. Had I received yours before I sent mine, my initial email to you would have been different. I'm sorry, but you may not continue to sublet your portion of the apartment. Your tenancy will expire at the end of this month along with your current lease. I am rescinding my offer to renew. You must vacate the apartment by April 30th. As to the issue of your subtenant, should Mary not wish to keep her as a roommate, you will be responsible for getting her to vacate the apartment as well. Please be advised that your security deposit will not be returned until your portion of the apartment has been vacated and I have had a chance to inspect for damage. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO CONTINUE TO COLLECT RENT FROM YOUR SUBTENANT AFTER APRIL 30TH. She will be informed that your tenancy has expired. If Mary wants her to stay, she will either be paying rent directly to me or to Mary depending on our private arrangements.

It appears that you have made a life for yourself in Peru. I wish you luck.

So, I guess I am out of the apartment. But it gets better because the subletter found out I was charging her an additional $200 (MARY!!!) and so she did not know if she wanted to resign the lease with Mary which meant that both me AND Mary would be kicked out! Oi! But thankfully all was settled on that end, with time and stress and a lot of freaking out on the part of Mary. So now, Saturday morning, my parents are in my apartment with my brother and Mary packing my shit up getting it ready for the movers. They swore they would never move me again but in these trying times, we do not have that much choice. I looked into tickets to the states for 4 days and it cost over $1000. INSANE!!!!

OTHER NEWS:

I recently had a meeting with my principal after she observed one of my classes. She told me she was very pleased with the work that I was doing and does not want me to leave half way through the year. The Peruvian school year starts in February and ends in December. I made a commitment until August when they hired me. So for more than one reason, it looks bad for the school, its not good for the children and they are impressed with the little skills I have with having no prior experience, the principal made me an offer.

Vero said to me (Vero, short for Veronica) that because they think I am an asset to the school, she wants to offer to pay for my ticket back and forth to the United States after I return for my brothers wedding. She also said that if it would be better for me, she can give me a contract for another 6 months until the following June and pay me for the months of January and February. The reason she said this is because she is aware that the school year in the states does not start until September and if I go back to the states in December I will not be able to get a job. What she does not realize is that after teaching at her comfy school, I have no desire to EVER teach in a New York City public school. Hell no! Props to all of you out there who are doing that. I only have 20 kids with an assistant and I get home every day exhausted barely able to move. 40 kids? No resources? No assistant? NEVER! Social worker maybe, but never a teacher!

So I have some decisions that will have to be made soon and I just have no idea what I want to do or what is best for me. I know that right now I am so happy here, but like anywhere, things change.

Patterns

jssr18 — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 09:00:00 GMT

Over the past few weeks I have been teaching my students about patterns. First they have to learn the word in English, then they have to learn Circle, Triangle, Square, etc. in English. Then they have to learn pencil, trace, draw, copy and continue in English. I am tired just thinking about it. Obviously they do not learn the first time around so I repeat myself over and over and over again. And in this process I discovered something about myself and the patterns that I fall victim to because of my own fears, shortcomings, hopes and comforts.

For the first time since I left my home country for another, 1999, when I went to Italy, I altered my thought patterns and my approach to living my life. As you all know, I have traveled numerous times and during these travels the same things usually occur. I go to an amazing country for a few weeks, months and come back with a new boyfriend. (Or, I meet a boy from another country in my backyard). I know and have always known that I have always been attracted to the mystery, beauty and unfamiliarity of other cultures, peoples, traditions and languages. And, I know that one of the many reasons I am always dating foreign men is so that I can somehow grasp a piece of this. I have always looked for men who can bring me to their home towns and give me the opportunity to explore and discover new worlds and their traditions. Or, I have sought out local men who would be interested in working abroad or creating a new life somewhere else.

Never did I once think: if I want to live abroad, or travel abroad or experience and discover abroad, that I should make this life for myself rather than depend on someone else to do this for me. Or, I did think about it but was too afraid to go for it for myself. The idea of someone else doing it and me riding on their efforts was much easier to fathom.

And, for the first time, in Peru (India for me does not count) I came here following my passion and desire to dance and learn more about dancing. And, I took a job for myself so that I can continue to have this opportunity to be abroad and explore what will unfold before me during the holidays, festivals, daily living, etc. And for the first time I have become responsible for my own fate.

Being legal is Over Rated

jssr18 — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 22:23:00 GMT

Benefits of being illegal (really, benefits of being English speaking in a non-English speaking country, a little different):

1. Get paid more to do less

2. Do not have to sign in and out for roll call, more freedom to come and go as please at the job

3. Paid off the books and in CASH MONEY

4. Get paid for a missed day’s work to travel to another country (Bolivia, Chile, Home - here I come!)

a. My 3-month tourist VISA is up and need to leave the country to stay another 3 months!

5. When someone at your job tries to tell you what to do or make you do something you do not want to do (like hand in weekly, monthly and yearly plans) you can just say… “what are you gonna do, fire me?” hehe, wouldn’t actually do it, but nice to know its an option!

6. You are offered more money and plane tickets when you tell them you have to leave for 2 months. But, even leaving for 2 months is acceptable! as long as you promise to come back!

Today is the Day We’re Gonna Die

jssr18 — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 08:57:00 GMT

I take a taxi with 3 people in the morning on the way to work. Crisitina, 26, from Lima (she teaches pre-K English); Suzanne from London, 24, (she teaches 2^nd grade English); Lawrence, 47, (he teaches 6^th grade English). Cristina is a hard-core chic from Lima who puts up with no shit from this “little” people in Cusco. When I had a problem with my landlord she came to the rescue and literally fought with the man right in front of me. However, she has a special talent whereas by the end of the conversation they were laughing and hugging one another. Super hard-core! Suzanne is a bitter, British omni-potent pain in the ass who I love. She hates the kids, hates the school (or at least complains about it all the time) but deep down she wants to love these kids and do good for them. But I don’t remember hearing one sentence come out of her mouth that had a hint of positivity and enjoyment. She also came right before the start of school so she had no time to acclimate to the environment here and she has been deathly ill in be for the past 5 days, missing school and sending the “head hanchos” chasing after substitute teachers. Out little Suzanne is causing much stress for the school, but I think its good for them. And then there is Lawrence. Lawrence is a Jew boy married to a totally un-Jewish woman with 2 kids. They came to Cusco because his wife is an anthropologist and got a job here. He decided to teach because he was bored and taught for 7 years back home. He is probably the most hilarious man I have ever met.

Anyway, the three of us every morning hop in a taxi = 551515 (that’s the number) and well, we have become known amongst the 1515’s as being the most harassing, annoying, difficult passengers. None of the 1515’s want to pick us up and the other teachers from the school (who carpool through the same cab company) are constantly hearing stories about our escapades from the other drivers while at the same time being thanked for being cooperative. By now, they know us and when we get in the car, they just start yelling at us. Well, not at us, at Cristina. She is always the first one in and the one who speaks fluent Spanish so she is the one who gets the brunt of it while Lawrence, in his very adorable broken but pretty damn good Spanish is always trying to make friends with the taxis since we do have another 5 months to go.

Anyway, every morning the taxi gets paid 9 soles (2.2 each which is less than a dollar) and has to make 4 different stops for each one of us. Then he has to drive about 25 minutes. And then, on the way, we always ask him to make at least one if not 2-3 stops. We have to buy food in the morning for the school day since there is none near where we work and there is no cafeteria. And, half the time we need more money for the combi (mini-bus) home. So we have to stop at an ATM. One day, we got to the school (which is at the top of a hill and really difficult for these shit machines to hike up) when we realized Lawrence, Suzann,a Cristina or myself did not have ANY money on us. I guess we just assumed the other would spot us. We started hysterical laughing because we KNEW this driver would want to rip our heads off. And that he did, with good reason. He started screaming and yelling and there was nothing we could do because all of us idiots we just sitting there like.. DUH. The best part was that when we spoke about it later we all said how we would NEVER get in a taxi or even go anywhere in our hometowns without money, its UNHEARD of. But we are in Cusco, everything is different here. Anyway, by later that day we heard all sorts of exaggerated and amazing stories from the other teachers who took other taxis who relayed a version of this story.

But, the best part of these taxis is that they were really made a golf-cart type cars to transport Japanese in between different building for major corporations (that’s my bit of fact). And then Cuscenians took them and decided, “hey! They are cheap, small and get the job done” And then they put this dinky, tiny, crappy, plastic-like cheap car in the streets of Cuzco and it has become one of the most dangerous driving situations I have ever been in, and I have been in a lot. It is worse than mopeds, rickshaws, etc. because you have the false sense of security because you are surrounded on all sides by walls.

This brings me to the title of this post. “This is the day we’re gonna die” Every morning, at least 3-4 times, the taxi almost directly crashes and explodes with a truck, a parked car in the middle of the road, 7 cars that decide to run a red light at the same time, oncoming traffic while coming out of the parking lot of one of our tiendas (stores), or falls into a manhole that has been open for 3 weeks, runs into a mound of dirt that appeared out of nowhere or really just the lamp post while he is busy screaming at Cristina. And, every time this happens Lawrence and I immediately sing, “This is the day we’re gonna die, gonna die, gonna die. This is the day we’re gonna die so early in the morning” (I don’t remember the song that it tunes with, but it’s our morning ritual). And then we discuss how amazing it would be to die on the way to small shitty school in the backwoods of Peru where nobody knows us and if they find us they would just politely step over us as they continue along their way.

And now we have a new term we use as “Oh Fuck”. Another teacher, Australian, 68, Betty came just the other week and squeezed into a car with us (that was the first and last time for that). She left her husband for a year to do this. Anyway, she was talking about her shanks pony to the store the other day and Lawrence and I at the same time said “WOAH.. WHAT????” and she sais “shanks pony” and we were like.. what in the WOLD does that mean. Supposedly it means “walking” in Australian. So now when we are about to hit something or smash our brains out we scream “SHANKS PONY” and then sing our merry tune for all to hear.

Cuyi with the Chilli’s

jssr18 — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 08:55:00 GMT

After prouncing around town all morning with Hector we decide to go back to his house and have some lunch (this was by 4PM and this is when they eat lunch). So, of course I’m famished by now; I am losing energy and all I can dream of is delicious, yummy food that his mother cooks and then a sweet, long, quiet nap before its time for the discotechas.

We finally get to his house and there are 4 people sitting in the downstairs living room chatting. His mother says we are waiting for 8 more before we eat and that we should have a seat. Inside I am dreading the next 45 minutes because in Cusco, time just stands still and when arrival hour is 4 people only first start coming in at 4:45/ 5. So we sit, I am staring at the wall because there is no way my pathetic Spanish skills will work in my favor at this time and I am trying not to fall asleep or eat Hector’s arm.

With time, 13 people (including myself) gather around their dining room table on chairs and stools, with arms interlocking to make more room for everyone else. Then comes the march of the food. Gigantic bowls are carried into the kitchen from outside from Hector’s mother (Koki) and her two sisters. Within minutes a beautiful plate of traditional vegetarian food is set in front of me and I am smiling with ecstasy. I am served first and I am thinking its because I am the only veggie here, or maybe because Im the only English speaker, foreign guest, who knows why, I don’t care. Me Happy. I wait, of course, for everyone else to be served. That was my first mistake. Immediately after my plate hit the table, a scurry of feet and “oohs and aahs” come from the kitchen as the mom, 2 sisters and 2 uncles bring out the main course for the rest of the crew. And within seconds, I see 48 rat feet sticking up and staring at me.

Cuyi, the guinea pig. The Cuscenian favorite. The vegetarian nightmare. Wouldn’t be so bad if they served it like chicken or cow. But the traditional way to present this lean meat is whole, head with open mouth, clawed feet and all. Second mistake, not to mention immediately how disgusted I am because Koki comes with some meat (off the body, since she knows my habits) and tosses it on my plate. Holy Shit. I literally throw it back at Hector and tell him I need a moment. The rest of the table is laughing at me by this point. And, while they laugh, these carnivores are picking up their meat and slashing through it like it is apple pie. Apple pie. Apple pie with rat claws. Oi.

But the beautiful part of the night was soon to come. Three of Hector’s cousins were there. The whole gathering happened because one of these cousins, Maya, was in town from Lima with her boyfriend. And, the boyfriend stood up half way threw the tearing of the flesh escapade and began to speak to the whole group. Immediately I knew what was happening and it was amazing to be a part of it. The whole table was shaking with excitement as we waited anxiously for Oscar to finish his monologue and pop the question already. When he did, the whole table rose and kisses, hugs and congrats were spread through out. It was so beautiful and exactly like the movies. I think. It was all in Spanish after all.

Finally, after 2 hours, I was able to get some rest and for another 2 hours I slept like a baby upstairs while the rest of the crowd chattered away and had second helping of cuyi.

You Know you are in Cuzco when...

jssr18 — Mon, 8 Mar 2010 08:52:00 GMT

1. Every 5 minutes you are kissing someone you do not know:

Ex. I am walking with a Peruvian who meets a friend who is passing by on the way to an appointment. He quickly kisses my friend and then me (never asking my name) to say hello and within seconds turns around and kisses my friend and me again as he scurries off. Really, what’s the point.

Ex. I am with a group of people and another friend comes along. They kiss everyone at the gathering, including me, without questioning who I am.

Ex. I go to work in the morning with over 25 teachers. As each person comes in they kiss everyone else. The process takes upwards of 12 minutes. I have to go to work 20 minutes early just so I have time to kiss everyone before class starts! That’s sick!

Ex. I meet someone at a discotecha and he leans over to introduce himself and goes to give me a kiss and last minute swiftly turns his head so I plant one on his probably not so clean and delicious lips.

2. You and your roommates time a ball rolling down the living room floor every morning to check for possible mud slide scenarios

3. Being a Jewish mother from the ‘burbs doesn’t seem half that bad. I have to get my hair washed here once a week since the showers are at best luke warm and the pressure doesn’t allow for my hair to every get completely clean!

4. You have to change the return flight of your $850 round trip ticket and they charge you $1300 for the change fare!

5. You go to work, come home and sleep for 4 hours then go out at 9:30PM dancing salsa until 2 in the morning. Come back home and sleep another 4 hours and start all over again!

6. You have 2 random people sleeping on your couch any given night (but I guess that goes for anyone who is traveling so scratch that)

7. You have to walk 5 blocks out of your way to get home because the sewers are backlogged from the flooding and whole rivers magically appeared on your path.

8. Every other man wants something from you and its not your brains or your personality

9. Everyone keeps asking “Why am I still here?”

10. All the restaurants and tiendas close for lunch so the waiters and owners can have lunch. (ummm.. duh!)

11. You are walking home from wherever and you hear a man running up the street past you with a cowbell in his hand. Then, you too are running up the hill to get into your apartment to collect the 18 bags of garbage that have been collecting over the past 7 days. Only 20 feet behind this man is the garbage truck. You never know when they will come or how long it will take for them to get from the bottom of the hill to your apartment. So, you have to make a mad dash to your own bags and hope that you can get them outside before the truck leaves you in the dust!)

12. You sing with joy as you step out of the shower and wrap yourself in a huge, beautiful, warm towel that took you 2 months to find. This towel has literally changed the course of my happiness here in Peru. It is a true Godsend.

13. Every other day another English co-worker calls in sick to work with stomach issues

14. When your friend ends up in the hospital with three different types of bacteria and one parasite. And then, a week later she goes back to the hospital for a check up and the doctor says, “good news, the parasite is gone. Bad news, now you have another one.”

15. When the doctors prescribe medicine for you without asking you your history, your family history or your allergies. And then, when you question him he gets angry and tells you that you are difficult to work with and that you should see another doctor if you cannot trust him (this happened to the same friend as above!)

16. You know every single person, tourist and not, who go to the discotechs because this place is so small!

The Beginning of New Era

jssr18 — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:36:00 GMT

Michelle left. She stayed with me and the hombres suelos for about 2 weeks. We hared a bed, we shared our sicknesses (we were known as the pitri dish) and we shared all of our roller coaster of emotions. But, like all good things, new good things are bound to come in and take over (so I hope!). Michelle left today. Mike (spiderman) leaves Wednesday. Jonathon (another friend from England who has also been staying on our couch) leaves Thursday, Gary leaves in less than a month and well Shavy, im not sure what his situation is. But, just as I was beginning to get comfortable, the friends I have made who have really been my support system are moving on with their lives and so must I. The problem with life in a new place and a new culture, especially one that is so highly dependent on tourists is that when you invite these people into your lives, it is imperative to understand that they are transitory and while you may stay (even though I am considered transitory as well since im only here for 6 months) they will always leave before you. Forcing the pattern to repeat itself over and over again. But I am so thankful for everyone that has come into my life while I am here.

Last night we had a dinner party and it was the 4 roommates (plus 2 – Michelle and Jonathon), Fania (the local who works at the hottest tourist shop so EVERY traveler knows her), Hector (the local who is the dancing king so every traveler knows him) and Laura another very young girl who is passing through. Half way through dinner (which I didn’t eat since I was still feeling the effects of my mini nervous breakdown) Michelle said, “wow, we have the 3 most popular Cuscenians in our apartment!” I said “who?” She said, “Fania, Hector and YOU” I had no idea what she was talking about and she basically told me that everyone here knows who I am and that if it wasn’t for me no one else would know each other and that I have brought all the people together. What a feeling. I do love it here. Today. J

Melt Down (is this #2?)

jssr18 — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 00:35:00 GMT

It has been almost 2 weeks since I began working at the school. The parents arrive Monday and the kids arrive Wednesday. We have been spending the past 9 days in meetings learning how to fill the necessary forms for the government, the IBO organization and for the school. As the English teacher I teach 2 separate groups of kids. Each group has 6 hours of Math, 6 hours of English and 2 hours of IBO (doesn’t matter what this is). Anyway, at the beginning I was all gung-ho knowing this was going to be easy and everything will be handed to me on a platter. With one day left of organizing my daily activities for the kids I realized WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?!?!

I have NO idea how to teach and I have NO idea WHAT to teach. No one has given me any information about the level these kids are at, what they are supposed to be learning, the level they should be at at the end of the year AND how to get them there. I don’t know how to make a lesson plan, I don’t know ow to teach the alphabet, I don’t know how long things take, what kids are interested in, what works and what doesn’t and on top of all that, the 6 week unit plan I put together (in 4 hours) was given back to me when they realized they gave me the WRONG FORM TO FILL OUT!

I was panicked, stressed, overwhelmed and completely frazzled. I left work early after lying to my boss’s (kind of) and went straight to my room and slept. I slept for 3 hours before I woke up and began to have a real panic attack. My body started convulsing, my thoughts became chaotic, I felt sick to my stomach, I developed a fever and my throat was killing me. For the past 9 days I was pushing back any feeling I had about the fear that comes with starting something new and my body was finally telling me to STOP. I went to the hostal next door where my new friend had me lie down on a coach and gave me “psychotherapy”. Which of course didn’t work but it did distract me for about 5 minutes. It also helped that my mother sat on Skype with me for god knows how long to try to help me get organized and make me feel better. Then my roommates and Hector all sat around me and watched as my entire body just seemed to crumple under the pressure of the unknown. With nothing to do but let it pass, I sat and well, let it pass. I fell asleep at 8PM and over the course of the evening ran to the bathroom as I felt I may vomit my guts out any minute. It never happened, but it sure as hell felt like it might. Poor Michelle (who sleeps with me in my bed) had to deal with my hysteria.

Anyway, I understood it was irrational and that in 2 weeks time I will laugh at the silliness of the evening. But, in the moment, when I really felt helpless and full of doubt about my ability to teach these kids and give them a solid foundation of which to start the rest of their entire lives’ education, it was so real and terrifying for me. To have the responsibility of 40 children’s future and not even know where to hang the weather chart, a bit drastic I would say.

So the next day I go to work and this time I decide I am not going to work on any lesson plans, I am only going to decorate my room with my assistant (who is the most adorable girl ever) and I began to feel better as things started to look more “the part”. I then went into my counterparts room, Ivi (the Spanish teacher for my two classes) and we started speaking about the previous evening. It turns out that last night Ivi went home as well and cracked under the pressure and told me she bawled her eyes out for hours as her husband and children stayed very far away from her for fear of her wrath. We were both so happy to know that the other one felt the same type of extreme hopelessness that we hugged and laughed for a long time. The difference is: afterwards she went back to her lesson plan. I went back to cutting out pictures and drawing art. Which means, another panic attack is bound to happen before Monday.. wait for it, wait for it, wait for it….

I think I threw up 40 times in my mouth

jssr18 — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 00:31:00 GMT

Hector picked me up at 3 in the morning and we headed over to his house where his mother, father and 3 of his mothers’ students waited for a mini van to come pick us up. I was headed to the jungle. No, it is not as exotic as it sounds, but it was fabulous, at times. By 4 in the morning we were all packed and headed on our way. It was bone chilling cold and his mother demanded that Hector and I sit in the front so I can see the view. It was with great intention but at 4 in the morning the view doesn’t want to be seen and I do not want to see it. We quickly fell asleep along with the rest of the crew. And I mean all of us. 2 hours into the trip, wrapped up in alpaca blankets and layered by the nines, we hear a major thump and our heads go crashing into the right windows as the car swerves to the left and panic begins to erupt over the sound of the puttering motor. Within a few minutes all the men climb into the dark, rainy night and proceed to find a mini boulder to place under the front right wheel. The driver, I will call him SP for sleeping beauty, rolls the van back and forth until it is finally resting on top of this boulder giving him enough room to raise the car and twist on another tire.

Hector’s mother then kicks us out of the front into the back seat because she is now aware that she must remain awake the rest of the travels or we may not make it back in time. [The On Monday Hector informed me that this same driver in the same van took another trip to Quillabamba the following day and this time one of the passengers wasn’t so lucky. He ended up flipping the car over and one traveler died.]

So we climbed in the back with our ensemble of covers and sheets and puffy jackets and again went back to sleep. This time we woke up, it was also because we were being thrown back and forth by the side of the roads but also because the nausea began to make itself known. So Hector tells the guys in front of us to let his mother know that we are feeling quite sick in the back and then they lean forward and whisper to his mother. 2 minutes later I see something being passed back to us and his mother, thoughtful and sweet in all her ways (seriously though) passes back a white plastic bag the size of my palm and sends the message to aim well. So for the next 2.5 hours I am crushing my eyes closed while I try to imagine being somewhere else for the sake of my own cleanliness and the odour that can kill all the others if I slip up in my guided meditation for even a moment. The only reprise was that 3 hours into the ride (an hour after the “accident”) all of a sudden the climate changed drastically and I went from having difficult breathing and shivering all the time to enjoying the amazing influx of air that flowed naturally into my body and made me feel at peace and calm and serene for the first time in awhile. This was due solely to the fact that we were now a few hundred meters lower and it was hot. I was stripping layers like off like it was my last opportunity and then the sweat began to drip from my forehead and my thighs squeaked together and then again I was uncomfortable. Haha.

So we finally make it and the first thing everyone does is climb into bed and sleep for another 4 hours. It was hot and exhausting and no one could move. Jump to Sunday where we experience Carnival all over again. It was AMAZING. It was 300 times more exciting than in Cuzco. Dancers from over 30 regions came in their brightly colored folk outfits and strange music. They lined up at the beginning of the route and waited for the incoming assault. As each group began their ascent to the main square, men, women and children from rooftops, doorways, taxis, cars, motorcycles, windows, etc. threw buckets and buckets of water on these innocent entertainers. Unlike Cusco though, it was hot and the water was welcome. People were pelting water balloons, spraying shaving cream and the best was colored powder that they threw (blues, pinks, yellows, reds) on all the soaking passerby’s so that it felt like we were in a Dr. Seuss book. While I never made it to the plaza for fear of getting my only clothing wet, I was later told by Hector’s mother that the fire trucks came and even whipped out their hoses and sprayed unmercifully on all the plaza. People were dripping, dancing, singing and happy. It was a most amazing experience.

By 3PM we got back in the minivan (different one this time) and headed home. As we traveled we passed little villages of 15-20 people who were dancing around a tree by the side of the road. The tree was filled with decorated gifts and men and women held hands as they circled the tree and then took turns trying to cut it down. This happened throughout all the villages in the jungle. Hector told me that the person who knocks down the tree not only gets all the presents in it but is then responsible for decorating the tree the following year. Also, this was a perfect opportunity for the bored kids to come running after us with their own water pistols to continue the water game. It was a continual cycle. We were dying of heat and had to roll down the windows and then as we approached a village we scrambled to roll the windows back up before we were the target of mayhem. We were successful most of the time. Again, Hector and I were the only ones who still remained dry throughout the whole weekend. We dodged water attacking us from every which way by hiding behind trucks, ducking under canopies and maneuvering through packs of heavily embroidered ladies dancing.

About 3 hours into the trip, before we hit the cold front, the minivan stopped so everyone could have a bathroom break. Hector and I got out and admired the view. We were literally in the middle of the mountains with nothing for miles and only fresh, beautiful air and peace and silence. His family and friends bought some food and water and we stood at the edge of the road trying to drink in the serenity. 4 minutes into our little getaway, we hear a huge bus chugging up the mountain so of course we took the necessary precautions and stepped further onto the edge without needing to turn around or acknowledge what was about to pass. And then it hit us. Screaming kids stuck their heads out the windows as other kids emptied their full buckets of water all over the back of us. Freezing, cold, wet, nasty water and our very dry and peaceful selves. We both screamed at the instant the water hit, shocked at what happened and then we fell to the floor laughing knowing that it was only just that we too got our share of Carnival.

Nothing to do and no time to do it

jssr18 — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 07:43:00 GMT

It has been an absolute whirlwind here. Cusco is this super tiny play with really nothing to do and for some reason, I find myself struggling to fit everything in. Like I said earlier it’s a place of many contradictions.

I wake up at 5:15 to practice yoga and meditation and then head to work from 7:40 to 1:30 (soon to change to 2:30 when the kids come). I return home and between all the people who are living here (now its 3 american boys and one American girl with the possibility of a chica from lima coming) there is just way too many things to get done. For example, yesterday I needed to buy food to make myself lunch. But, when I arrived home at 2:30, my drum teacher was already waiting for me. I was dying for a nap and figured I would take one after he left. But, as soon as he got up to walk out, I had 5 people at my side telling me to get ready for a ballet class. We moved everything over in the living room and Michelle, the American chica, gave us an incredible ballet bar. Then I was so ready to take a nap when Shavvy asked that I teach a yoga class. So, of course that came next. By this time it was about 6:30PM and it was time to start cooking dinner. While I don’t cook, obviously, the guys began putting together a stew while the girls just followed the directions of how to cut what vegetables. By the time the food was about ready to eat it was 8PM and we ate and spoke until 10:30PM. I had no time to buy some warm sweaters (its freezing), food for lunch or take a nap. But I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Every day the same thing happens. I get ready to buy something or go and do something and life just kinda gets in the way of my plans!

Most important for me is to make time for myself every day because it is so easy to get caught up here with too many of the tiny details. I have to find a way to relax amongst all the chaos.

Another example, today I was talking to Cristina (a friend from work) and I was telling her how I am so looking forward to go home, take a nap and then go out and buy food for lunch tomorrow and then just rest until tonight for the discotecha. I got home and as soon as I did, Michelle and Spidey (we call him Spiderman because our water stopped flowing one morning and he climbed up the ceiling to check out the problem) came in with a huge suitcase. Michelle was supposed to stay for 2 or 3 nights. Now she is staying for 7-10, in my bed! I don’t mind at all but we had to sit and talk about logistics and also we are planning a trip together (the whole house.. 5 of us now) next weekend before she and Spidey leave (came separately and going separately). Then, on the way to my nap they told me we are all going for dinner at 5PM and then going directly to a free salsa class at my Spanish school. And then, I’m calling the girls about dancing tonight at 9PM. Hector will come and hopefully some others and then ill be back in bed by 11:30. But, how am I going to eat tomorrow with no food. I can’t give up my nap. Its essential since ill be dancing later! Afterall, we all need our priorities!

Carnival

jssr18 — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 07:42:00 GMT

February 14^th. As mentioned earlier, Cusco is a city of contradictions. Today is no different. Today is both Valentines Day AND the Peruvian Carnival. So at the same time that lovers are proclaiming their amore for one another, everyone else is battling over the sexes. Carnival is literally the festival of water. Every person from 1 year to 70 years hides in alleyways, doorways, behind trucks and cars, street signs and lamp posts and everyone is carrying buckets full of water, water balloons and massive water guns. Everywhere you go you are sprayed with putrefying tap water. But it’s the women versus the men. I watch behind the protection of Hector in a pharmacia as we wait for a taxi as gangs of boys chase “innocent and harmless” women down the street while whacking them with balloons and aiming their pistols at them. And vice versa of course. Everyone is soaked to the bone. And it doesn’t help when in the middle of the afternoon pick up trucks start circling the plaza where 15 kids are standing up squeezed together in the back and as they pass bystanders they thunder them with liters of liquid. No one is safe. Everyone is a target and everyone is a predator. Its amazing to see the teams of people who come out for this. Laughing, joking, soaking. And in the end, God wins once again because she decides to play as well. And then any remaining heroes fall victim to Gods spray as well as she blankets the entire city with her joy of Carnival.

Should I stay or should i go now....

jssr18 — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 06:34:00 GMT

When I first arrived I thought it would be amazing to get a small time job to support myself so I can choose to stay longer if that was my wish. The main goal for my being here is to find balance: job and hobby, serious and playful, yoga and dancing, without and within.. I could go on forever but its really not that exciting to read a list of polar opposites. But, this is what I came here to achieve, bringing every aspect of my being together and use it at the same time rather than heavily weighing on one and then the other and see-sawing back and forth time and time again. So, job it was. I met a man named Julian who runs an English/Spanish Institute and told me that I can work for him beginning February. It was so amazing to think before I came I had a job lined up, friends lined up, etc. (none of which remain today.. well, maybe one friend) But it was the plan I needed to give me the push to start. From there things began to unfold. Julian regretfully let me know that as of February 1^st they no longer needed teachers because of the terrible deflation of tourists which led to loss of employment for many locals which in turn made it difficult for any tourists to convince themselves that they still “needed” to take English classes. So I felt deflated. I asked Julian if he could recommend any other place that may be seeking assistance of any kind and he gave me the name and number of a friend of his that was running a school in cusco. Cut to 3 days later I was sitting outside the apartment of Francisco sipping some tea (before I moved into my beautiful new apartment!) and a man and his 4 y/o daughter walked by speaking English. I motioned to them and they stopped and we spoke for awhile about his wife who was here for a year working on an anthropology grant and he was going to begin teaching at an elementary school. He told me they may be looking for teachers and gave me the information. The next day I called the contact of Lawrence and we made a date for the following day to meet and discuss the position. As it turns out, both numbers I received from both people who knew nothing of each other were for the same exact school. That Friday I went for a trial run to show them what I got and spent 30 minutes with five 9 year olds playing “head, shoulders, knees and toes” (I think I had more fun then them!) Tuesday afternoon Patria called me to tell me I had the job if I wanted it.

The job: the school is called Ausangate Bilingual School. It is part of the International Baccalaureate Organization (IBO) which basically means that the school uses constructivism as a way of learning, they build their own learning. “The constructive methodology puts the student in the role of protagonist which demands that we orient educational experiences towards not what one teaches, rather to how one learns.” They have also adopted the Multiple Intelligence Theory (which I learn in social work school! So I was so excited to see this!) which offers a wider approach to discussion and analysis. “According to Gardner, there are 8 distinct types of intelligences that do not operate in isolation, rather they are combined to fit into distinct tasks” These include: logical-mathematical, linguistic, spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, naturalist, intrapersonal and interpersonal.

I would be teaching 1^st graders. Every grade has about 40 students that are divided into 2 classes. Each class has half a day with a Spanish speaking teacher and half the day with an English-speaking teacher. As their English teacher I will also be teaching them mathematics and movement to better comprehend language. Even better, I begin this Monday and I will be trained how to teach (I know, its only 2 weeks, but over here, people volunteer teach with no structure, guidelines, lesson plans or experience.. so this is miles better!)

And that is when it really hit. The previous entry is obviously linked to this one because I was just lost. I had to commit through July and they wanted me to commit until December (we all KNOW that is NOT happening). I was panicking about what I should do. I spoke with a few people who just kept saying.. things happen here in cusco that you do not have control of. One minute you think you are going east and after multiple harsh winds and rain storms you end up being redirected, for the better, without even having to comprehend what is happening. “Just let it come to you, you already know the answer” they kept saying. But still, I was trying to think it through and make it happen. And then, when I stopped trying to bullet point the pros and cons of staying and going I realized what had been happening. I thought about everything that was naturally unfolding for me and how all these incidences were clear statements telling me to stay, for now. The same day I was offered the job, the drum instructor I had been seeking out for 3 weeks called to set up our first class, the apartment which I am staying in and feeling completely lonely because of its massiveness and 3 rooms was suddenly going to be occupied by 3 guys from the states (ill talk about that another time), the Ticos at the vegetarian joint passed me on the street and told me they were going to take me to the market and teach me how to buy food and the cook it, my salsa/swing teacher asked me to help him teach another couple how to dance for their wedding and has been taking me dancing every night (he also helped me go to a “real” doctor to take care of my cough), I found a 10 sole massage (that’s a massage for only 3.33 AND I had two women working on me at once!) and I found someone who carves wood for a living and who may be willing to teach me in time. Everything I have been wanting to do is happening, including finding a job where I can work with children. So what was my problem?? Why couldn’t I just say yes? What was holding me back from being exactly where I had only dreamed of being while sitting in my apartment just 2 months earlier with no friends, no apartment, no job, no experience in this country. I had nothing and only dreamed of what I can do and where I can be. And now, like the secret, every single thing that I had hoped for is floating right above my head waiting for me to grab it. I literally remember sitting in my yellow antique chair staring outside my window to the 2 trees in my backyard in Brooklyn and creating my future. My future is now my present. So, I didn’t really see how I had any other choice but to take the job and stay. And as soon as I did, all fear mellowed out and I am now able to actually move forward and start living here. For some reason I tend to find comfort in the complete and utter disarray of discomfort in limbo. I don’t want to be in limbo anymore. I think “I should stay”.

For Susan...

jssr18 — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 06:32:00 GMT

I have so many people in my life that I adore; friends, family, teachers. And, at different points in my life, each one has proven to me over and over that they adore me as well, which has been for me, the true indicator that life is worth living.

These are my reflections over the past few days:

Before Wednesday I was going through an existential crisis. “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” “What’s my purpose in this life?” the typical questions travelers and non-travel alike may ask them every once in a while. Well, my while was last week. I was suddenly faced with some very important questions that I had very little time to answer. I suddenly felt lonely, confused, scared and just completely at a loss for how to move forward. I felt as though whether I stayed or went, I would not be able to feel secure within myself. It was a very important and revealing point for me, one that I have come back to again and again over the years; one that every yogi speaks about. No matter where I am, there I am. I cannot get away from myself or run to a new me. I have to stop and embrace myself where I am. Sometimes it takes a moment of utter hopelessness before I can rediscover the true joy and freedom of living my life. It also takes amazing friends to offer me the support I need to make a good decision. Only when I felt safe knowing that I can be somewhere else did I have the confidence to stay exactly where I am. As strange as it sounds, feeling wanted and welcome gave me the strength I needed to stay right here and overcome whatever suffering I was experiencing at the moment. I love you Susan.

This is what I wrote in that moment when I felt my focus change:

“There is nothing more powerful and frightening to realize that only I exist. Everything that surrounds me is my imagination manifested. I am sitting quietly, alone, in a hidden square rarely found by the wandering tourist. There are locals who have been sitting in the same place, without movement, for hours. Waiting. Waiting for what I don’t know. But they wait peacefully and with tranquility. I wonder if while their bodies remain perfectly still and at ease their minds are chaotic like mine. The rain is tapping me awake to life and existence. My heart has been racing all morning with the fear that I am in the wrong place at the wrong time. But what is it really? When I feel alone, without direction, it’s the part of my soul that I have not embraced begging for acceptance and peace. I am not alone. Only I exist. But I am everyone and everything. My challenge is to be here and be with myself and be completely at peace without needing to achieve anything or conquer, prove, realize, state anything. My challenge is to allow my inner guru to love myself and the world that dances around me every moment. My constant play of observing the dance, participating in the dance and being the dance will bring me balance between this world and the next. It is time to go within and not fear what I will or will not find. Love myself. Feel my body’s reaction to my mental anguish. Observe it. Then let it be. Then peace will flow naturally.”

These are my reflections over the past few days:

This is what I wrote in that moment when I felt my focus change:

So after being in the square for hours sitting with myself, my thoughts, emotions, fears, attachments, cravings, desires, loneliness, I suddenly felt pure joy. I began to walk and within minutes, things began to unfold for me. When I lost faith in life and “coincidences” and “chance” moments and “meant to be”, it lost faith in me and left me empty. But now I re-embraced it as it re-embraced me.

Peruvian Playmate

jssr18 — Mon, 8 Feb 2010 21:39:00 GMT

Well, it’s definitely been a whirlwind here. If you haven’t read my blog here is the basics: I have 3 new roommates from San Francisco who will be staying with me until March 23^rd. Within 4 hours of there moving in we are having a dinner party tomorrow night, yoga at 4 (which I am apparently teaching), we are starting our own band (since I started taking drumming lessons and one of the guys is going to play guitar) and well, I think I have a boyfriend. I’m not quite sure though.

Background: my first night dancing I went with my friend Rhiana to Inka Team. I danced with a few guys and then one of them approached me and asked me if Rhianna and me would like to go to another club, one out of the center with all Peruvians (I may have mentioned this before). Anyway, before we went, I was waiting outside with Rhianna and this guy Hector and we were asking him about the bricheros and how we know how to spot one and how we want to make sure that all these guys know that we are not interested in anything more than dancing. Hector just nodded in agreement and said nothing more. He was there to dance. Well, we went dancing after the first club and Rhianna ended up dancing with a brichero (poor girl) who tried to kiss her several times even after she explained she has a boyfriend who is from Cusco and he just got into a fight the night before with someone else who tried to kiss her (she is super beautiful). I ended up dancing with Hector the entire night. As far as I knew, all the guys (Frank, Coco and others) are bricheros and Hector was kind of on the outskirts of the group, but he never made any passes at anyone or initiated any conversations or anything. I knew he was 23 and loved to dance (well, I thought he was 23). And we danced the whole night. (I found out later that after I danced with Paco, the first of the group that first night, he then told Hector that he should dance with me because I followed really well and I can pick things up quickly.. that’s why I was invited to the other club that night)

Anyway, a few nights later I went to dinner with my friend Amilcar and Amilcar invited Hector because as it turns out, Hector taught Amilcar how to dance salsa and now they were very good friends. They also have both taken Vipassana courses (although Amilcar took 14 and Hector only 1) so that made me feel better being around these guys. The next day I received a text from Hector inviting me to a party. One of the other guys who was there that night told Hector to invite me (this is what they do, they collect tourists to wear around their neck) and so I went with him to check it out. After an hour the smoke became too much so he walked me home. While there he gossiped about every guy in there, it was great. Anyway, we made a plan for him to teach me swing and salsa since those are his specialties (love swing!). We met for the first time on a Saturday morning at 10AM (well actually 10:30 since he was late) and danced for 1.5 hours (50 soles!). Then when we were leaving we just started talking and then he asked me if I wanted to have lunch with his mother and sister. (side track: here, the “good” boys stay at home until they get married and Hector has all three meals with his mother every day.) So I went and then ended up staying at his place talking to him until 8:30 in the evening about nothing and everything. I found out a few things: He is NOT 23, he is 29 (not much better!), he is an architect by day, wants to be a film producer with puppets and his love is dancing. He also plays piano and classical guitar. And, he is super patient with me when I try to speak Spanish and he is always correcting me. He speaks to his mother 40 times a day and tries to have every meal with her if he can. He wears braces and a scarf everywhere he goes. With time I was starting to crush on him. I liked the way he expresses himself and his philosophy on life. I also liked that he was not trying to make any moves on me.

I leave and Sunday night I send him a text asking if he would like to have a lesson on Monday. He was very happy to do so and we went back to the gym and had another lesson. Afterwards we went to the discothèque together and danced for a few hours before he walked me home. By this time, I was totally crushed. Everything he said to the way he danced and the way he delicately and gently yet firmly dances with all the girls to the way he covers his teeth with his smile because of his embarrassment of his braces, it was all precious to me. So I knew that I needed to either get over it fast because more important than him was my desire to learn dancing.. or tell him and see what happens.

Tuesday is lesson #3. He comes over and I am a wreck. (this is when I found out that they want me for the job and now I just have to let them know if I am ready to make a commitment for 5 months.. yikes!) so we sit and talk for an hour and a half before the lesson. Finally he asks me if I want to dance and I cannot take it anymore. I have to tell him how I feel. Usually ill play around it until the guy says something but he clearly was not budging and I just was ready to explode. So, I say… I have something I want to tell you and you may not like it very much. And then I hit him with it, “I know that you were just talking about how we were friends, but… I’m totally attracted to you. And, not just physically (because originally I wasn’t interested, he aint that cute). Only after we spoke for 8 hours did I realize that I’m starting to like you” wow, did I feel foolish and young and stupid. And he just sat there. He didn’t say anything but “wow”. Over and over again. I really was ready to punch him out. Anyway, after like 5 minutes of “wows” which is a very long time after you profess your “like” for someone, he said.. “but you don’t want a boyfriend.” (he said this because every single person I met here I made sure to let him or her know that I don’t want a boyfriend. ) I then told him that I do not, but you cannot help whom you fall for. He then said that when he first met me and danced with me he tried to gauge if I had any attraction for him and he felt nothing. I told him it was because I thought he was 23 and that he may be a hunter and that I was not about to get myself involved with someone like that. He then said that after our lesson on Saturday he thought about me all day on Sunday but that when he saw me again on Monday he didn’t really feel anything from me again. I told him that I’m not always the best at telling someone that I’m interested in him or her especially if I don’t know how he or she feel and they are my dance teacher! He said nothing again and just sat there. I told him not to worry and that he didn’t have to say anything just to appease me but that I want to dance and that’s the most important thing. He told me again how he thought we were just friends and how he got used to that idea, and that it was disappointing that we couldn’t have that type of relationship. I told him that was fine and asked him if he wanted to dance. He still just sat there so I just leaned my head against the wall. Next thing I know he leans over and rests his cheek against mine and for what seemed like forever we just sat there with out cheeks together, taking deep breaths and I swear, I felt electricity scourge through my body. It was the most intense gesture he could have given me. After that, we didn’t kiss for another 20-30 minutes, only touching face to face and breathing with one another. He grabbed my hands and held them as he gently pushed against them and then pulled me closer. (as a dance teacher, this is what he does ).

Well, lo and behold we ended up kissing and he spent the night. Nothing happened and I made sure to let him know nothing will because while I have intense cravings for him, I still am not quite sure how to believe he is not one of the other types of guys and I need more time to get to know him. Well, Tuesday night rolls around and he sends me a txt asking if he can come over at 6. I was at my drum lesson so I didn’t hear the phone and he responded 45 minutes later.. “can I?” and then “are you ok? Should I be worried?” I finally see the txt and call him back and he says he is already home and is not sure if he will come out. I realize he is doing this because he is a little hurt and angry because I didn’t call him. Not because I didn’t call but because he felt rejected. I told him I want to see him tonight and that I will be dancing and I hope he is there.

I happened to be with a bunch of guys from Australia and the states and we all planned to go to mythology together. I asked him if he will go and he said he might if he can get in but could not make any promises (other issues there). Anyway, we get there by 10 and he is there with Amilcar and I am so happy to see him. He is doing his thang with another girl (a very good friend of his who is also a salsa teacher) and after 3 songs he finally comes up to me. Its not weird or strange or anything. He takes my hand and next thing I know I am twirling around everywhere. He is such an amazing dancer it’s unbelievable. Anyway, after a few songs he asks me if I want to go to another club. I tell him I would love to and ditch my “friends” who are only traveling through anyway so they have to understand! And we head to another club where the Inka Team crew has been displaced to since their club has closed for renovations since its sloooow season. Within 45 minutes everyone is asking if we are together (because that’s how it goes here) and by the time we leave, it’s more or less a done deal.

The next day, Thursday, (only now kissed him twice) we wake up and I tell him I need to go to a doctor. He calls his mother and a few minutes later tells me its arranged and that I have to go to his house at 2 and then his mother will bring me to the doctor. He leaves after many farewells and a dance throughout my entire apartment. 30 minutes later I get a text from him that he will leave work at 1, pick me up, bring me back to his house to have lunch with him and his mother and then go back to work when his mother takes me to the doctor. And that is exactly what happened. After the doctor his mother took me to the pharmacy to get yet another antibiotic (only three days) and then took me back to her house to make sure I took it with lots of hot liquids and honey. She also gave me one of hector’s sweaters to wear and made me take a nap. She also warned hector that he better not let me go dancing for at least 3 weeks. We compromised at 1 day. I went home by 5 to show my apartment to my now new roommates and Hector came at 8 to take me to dinner and then make sure I went home and stayed covered from head to toe in warm clothes and drank lots of liquids. I begged him to go dancing since he has gone almost every day for 2 years and he refused to leave me alone. We sat and talked and laughed and listened to music and had an amazing time. He began to open up to me and share more intimate things and he keeps telling me how happy he is when he is with me.

We woke up this morning to music and danced again throughout the apartment accompanied by many dips and swings. He is so latino without even realizing it.. its in his blood I think J anyway, he left after 2 hours of trying to leave and quickly sent me a text immediately afterwards reminding me that I must continue to wear his sweater, have lots of tea with honey and again wrote during lunch time to take my pill. He obviously has no desire to be anywhere without me and he has made that known to me and to his mother and to all of his friends who are still calling and questioning his new status with me. Although we are very quick to say that he is my Geisha. (high class prostitute who dances, sings, plays music, makes tea and talks to his mother 40 times a day!)

He is charming and bright and funny and a little morose which makes it exciting as well. He adores me and takes care of me and well… I kinda like him. Which is what he kept saying, that he hopes that I like him. Men here fall fast so I have to be careful and go very slowly.

Then on Saturday (13^th) we wake up together and spend the whole day together. We go for breakfast and then I come back to the apartment for a drum lesson and he takes a nap while I’m playing and then come back for dinner and sleep. Sunday, another day, we go out with his friends for the first time since we saw them last after our first kiss. He makes sure to hold my hand while he is with me and when we go for lunch he brings me salad and tea and makes sure I eat everything since I’m only first beginning to get better. Then he takes me to his mother’s house where we eat a second meal (it’s a holiday so she cooked and wants to feed him) and the whole time in front of his parents and sister he is holding my hand. His mother then asks me to join the family on a 5-hour trip to Quillabamba to see her students perform for the Peruvian Carnival. So family trip! Oi! And then Michelle calls me.

Michelle is my friend from the Spanish School. Turns out she is in the hospital with a parasite and a bacteria. Hector comes with me to visit her and while I’m talking with her he goes out and buys her food and drinks and then waits an hour downstairs for the doctor who never comes so he can ask questions about her health. He is thoughtful and caring, well at least he knows the exact right thing to do and when.. Anyway, tonight he promises we can go dancing on Wednesday so I’m very happy. J

We share stories about all our friends and what they say to us about each other and how what we can say in response. He is so sweet. He also makes sure that if and when I need time without him he wants me to take it. Tomorrow I think I will have to. But I don’t want to. But I know it’s important. J

Oh.h… young and naïve relationships.. how everything changes…