No, its not déjà vu. I have featured catching salmon in a previous story. But this little tale is completely different. For starters its in a different hemisphere, in South Island New Zealand.
Over the Takaka Hill highway, past Abel Tasman National Park you'll find a little salmon farm tucked into a gorgeous valley nestled between the typical majestic peaks oh so common in this part of the world.
Its a pretty simple operation, tens of thousands of incessantly hungry salmon just waiting to be caught, cooked and eaten. You grab the fishing rods available cast off and hope that you land the biggest baddest salmon they have since there is a strict "If you catch it you buy it" policy.
My father in law casts off first and I enjoyed a good chuckle when the "lure", an unbaited hook that looks like a fish pellet, lands a few centimetres from his feet. I began to laugh even more openly when on the second attempt the hook lands about a metre away. My laughing was instantly halted however when the crappy casting resulted in a salmon taking the hook and in a matter of seconds Salmon1 was on the grass and lunch was caught.
The undesirable part for many however is the next step. Given what is essentially a nail with a handle, you spike the fish through the top of the head behind the eyes to kill it. Any fisherman knows this and with great respect to the meal I'm about to enjoy I spike Salmon1 as quickly and humanly as possible.
We end up with Salmon2 and Salmon3 in our bucket within another few minutes all very simply. I spike them all and throw them in the bucket. I still haven't managed to land one yet, it seems skill is not a factor, purely luck.
But then it all gets a little disturbing. Salmon2 and Salmon3 all with large holes in their brains continue to live. Flapping and jumping around like teenagers on energy drinks, I spike them both a few more times and it just seems to annoy them. Its at this point where I'm going to reaffirm my personal value of having great respect for all animals I kill to eat. I want them to die without sufferage.
However the rest of my family don't quite see that value. Instead they cringe as I feverishly stab all the salmon repeatedly in a wild rage screaming "Die you bastards". The splattering fish blood and guts would not have helped my image.
But its clear this family which I now love and hold so dearly aren't too familiar with fish. My brother in law used the fish net more like he was trying to catch butterflies and there were a few screams when the largest salmon to be caught, Salmon5 after being spiked and held up proudly by mother-in-law then managed to get off the hook and flap about like his possessed fishy brothers.
But a fun old time was had by all. And the salmon was of course delicious. And its far more thrilling than just buying it from the supermarket.
Joshua and Shona.
