Josh and Shona's Excellent Adventure

Photos: Salmon Fishing

josh_shona — Wed, 2 Jan 2013 15:03:00 GMT

A fish farm where you get fish. Guaranteed.

Salmon Fishing in the Takaka

josh_shona — Sun, 23 Dec 2012 05:54:00 GMT

No, its not déjà vu. I have featured catching salmon in a previous story. But this little tale is completely different. For starters its in a different hemisphere, in South Island New Zealand.

Over the Takaka Hill highway, past Abel Tasman National Park you'll find a little salmon farm tucked into a gorgeous valley nestled between the typical majestic peaks oh so common in this part of the world.

Its a pretty simple operation, tens of thousands of incessantly hungry salmon just waiting to be caught, cooked and eaten. You grab the fishing rods available cast off and hope that you land the biggest baddest salmon they have since there is a strict "If you catch it you buy it" policy.

My father in law casts off first and I enjoyed a good chuckle when the "lure", an unbaited hook that looks like a fish pellet, lands a few centimetres from his feet. I began to laugh even more openly when on the second attempt the hook lands about a metre away. My laughing was instantly halted however when the crappy casting resulted in a salmon taking the hook and in a matter of seconds Salmon1 was on the grass and lunch was caught.

The undesirable part for many however is the next step. Given what is essentially a nail with a handle, you spike the fish through the top of the head behind the eyes to kill it. Any fisherman knows this and with great respect to the meal I'm about to enjoy I spike Salmon1 as quickly and humanly as possible.

We end up with Salmon2 and Salmon3 in our bucket within another few minutes all very simply. I spike them all and throw them in the bucket. I still haven't managed to land one yet, it seems skill is not a factor, purely luck.

But then it all gets a little disturbing. Salmon2 and Salmon3 all with large holes in their brains continue to live. Flapping and jumping around like teenagers on energy drinks, I spike them both a few more times and it just seems to annoy them. Its at this point where I'm going to reaffirm my personal value of having great respect for all animals I kill to eat. I want them to die without sufferage.

However the rest of my family don't quite see that value. Instead they cringe as I feverishly stab all the salmon repeatedly in a wild rage screaming "Die you bastards". The splattering fish blood and guts would not have helped my image.

But its clear this family which I now love and hold so dearly aren't too familiar with fish. My brother in law used the fish net more like he was trying to catch butterflies and there were a few screams when the largest salmon to be caught, Salmon5 after being spiked and held up proudly by mother-in-law then managed to get off the hook and flap about like his possessed fishy brothers.

But a fun old time was had by all. And the salmon was of course delicious. And its far more thrilling than just buying it from the supermarket.

Joshua and Shona.

Photos: Whakapapa Ski Field

josh_shona — Sun, 1 Jul 2012 00:15:00 GMT

Ski Trip on Mt Ruapehu

Whakapapa : Whakayeah.

josh_shona — Sat, 30 Jun 2012 23:30:00 GMT

The following story has been the result of too much happening too quickly to justify using just a lame status update. Instead, I've really got to explain all of what happened on the 30th June 2012 with a touch of detail.

As most are aware, I love snow skiing. Living in Auckland, really doesn't help this addiction. But with the closest ski field (Whakapapa, pronounce fuk-a-pa-pa) being smothered in snow over the previous days and absolute perfect weather conditions the idea of driving for twice as many hours as I would be able to ski, somehow seemed worthwhile.

Our incredibly rewarding earlyish morning start resulted in driving through frosted fields with the morning mist reluctantly lifting off the many lakes and streams we drove past. As we made our way further inland and south the frosts grew thicker resisting the soft morning sunshine.

Bright white beacons arose on the horizon as we wound through the numerous hills heading to Tongariro National Park. Those beacons famous thanks to their wonderful roles as Mount Doom, their real names Mt Nguaruhoe and Mt Ruapehu nowhere near at catchy.

So arriving at 12:04pm, 4 minutes later than planned we'd already done more than what some sceptics thought possible. The carpark attendant smirked as our wee little car turned into the carpark. The snow was crisp, the air still and the views spectacular.

And on my final run down the mountain I'd thought all had gone well.

When I returned to the rental shop, they wouldn't accept the stolen skis I'd been using. Seems I mistook my crappy rental skis for a pair of high performance ones outside the cafe. Bah. No worries it happens.

As we drove down the mountain a pesky little "Check Engine" light refused to go away, no matter how much I told it to. Ever heard of a limp mode? I have, now. These modern cars thesedays, well they're just so smart they can go into "limp mode", disabling the engine from achieving more than 2000RPM. Boy was I popular doing 25kph down the highway. As we sat and watched the skies darken and felt the air get colder waiting for the breakdown service I wondered if Sir Peter Jackson ever wanted to film something regarding the journey AWAY from Mordor.

I had two choices be stranded in the middle of freezing nowhere with my car in the workshop until Monday at least or try to get the car home without going into limp mode. So that was the challenge 350km of windy, hilly driving, tired and acheing after my skiing, all the while keeping the RPM under 3500.

The result? The car is parked in the garage. At home. Hooray. 674km driven, 10 hours of driving and 3 hours of skiing. The epilogue? The house was burgled while we were out.

A dash through Vietnam

josh_shona — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 17:07:00 GMT

In the socialist republic of Vietnam, facebook is blocked. Yes, socialist may be in the title, but it was still a slightly communist Vietnam that greeted us. And in the Northern capital of Hanoi, there was no doubt who won the war. But Vietnam is more than just a war, I read that on a t-shirt. Its also a great place to shop, here there is no shame in seeing just how far a few dollars will go.

In our guidebook Vietnam was described as an evolving country, on the move and reinventing itself. And that bit was true. It was the only thing in the book that seemed true, so many places had either closed down, renamed or relocated. The guidebook was also off the mark describing Hanoi as graceful and charming.

But our next stop, Hoi An, was a fantastic destination. Kinda like a Disney version of Asia, only real, the place was gorgeous, its buildings effortless drawing your camera out of your pocket for another quick photo and before you'd realised you've filled your memory card, there you are, sitting enjoying another fruit shake considering which way you'll next wander, loafing lazily in its uncrowded streets. Already I need to buy another backpack, for a few more dollars, since I've picked up a heck of a lot of new clothes. Hoi An is also the best place in the country to buy new clothes. That backpack branding was authentic too.

A "character building" 10 hour train ride to Nha Trang brought us to something like the Vegas of Vietnam. Or maybe Surfers Paradise. Anyway with plenty of beautiful sand, hotels and indulgence all around it was the kind of place where you'd wake up sunburnt, hung-over and with the sniffles all in the same morning.

And that's were it all started to fall away. It had been an exhausting trip. And the previous events of wedding silliness resulted with two rather lethargic travellers. Saigon, our last port of call in Vietnam made an exciting start. Its very name inspires visions of the unknown and it impressed us with its enthralling dose of intensity. But for me it all came to an end with more propagandist speil about the American war - I will say that the war in Vietnam was stupid, incredibly stupid as all wars are - but both sides were guilty of the most horrendous crimes, just the US undeniably moreso. I just don't need more graphic pictures of what happened. Or be reminded of how shocking the health defects caused by chemicals I work with daily are.

Vietnam, we didn't do it justice with our whirlwind timeframe, but whilst it may try its best to be the next big thing, and deservedly so, it will always have its dark past.

A few words on Singapore

josh_shona — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:32:00 GMT

Having only spent a day or two in Singapore, I can't say I really got a real feel for the place, more like a quick grope. Initially the place concerned me. It appeared that Singapore was trying to its best to behave like a 14 year old girl. Endless shopping centres that seemed impossible to escape, Justin Bieber songs on repeat, an unhealthy obsession with hair and clothing was the first impression.

Fortunately we escaped the consumption crazed world and saw the bigger picture. A city that knows who it is. Its wealth unashamedly on display. Its buildings are bold, really bold, its just so damn clean, and organised, yes its definitely organised. The place has to be the ultimate success story of European colonisation. Not that I've been there, but I imagine Singapore is something like Chicago or Frankfurt.

There's a lot to be envious of in Singapore. Beautifully organised, inspiring constructions, fantastic use of urban space, a genuine theatre scene and money, lots of money, make it pretty swell.

Just don't get fined.

Campaigning for Cambodia

josh_shona — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 22:34:00 GMT

Cambodia, it will bring a tear to your eye. Maybe cause I bit into an inconspicuous chilli, or perhaps its the horrific details of the genocide the country suffered, or the still visible exploitation of young children, but the country will drive itself straight into your heart and mind.

The country's crushing heat and humidity combined with the huge emotional and financial challenges makes every day seem an insurmountable obstacle, but the people, the Khmer, so unbreakable, determined and upbeat turn each day we've spent here truly wonderful and treasured.

Then there is the food. Consistently impressive. Its not just that each breakfast, lunch and dinner has been fabulous, its also that the fruit, bananas, mangoes and pineapple have blown me away, and my high standards have never been met, so consistently anywhere else in the world. All for a pittance.

And that's the next heart wrentching story. The problems inflicted by other countries, the wars, the famines, the land mines, have left the nation so crippled, yet a few dollars changes lives. Its a common story of the world, but seeing United Nations and Unicef vehicles on a daily basis remind us of the constant threat the country's people tolerate and how simple it would be to change if the rest of the world only knew.

But don't come to Cambodia to see the worst of it. Come here to see the best. The people. The food. The temples. The adventure. The ability to feel like James Bond, Indiana Jones and Lara Croft all in a heartbeat. And of course, the Tuk Tuks.

Do's and Dont's of Australia

josh_shona — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 09:56:00 GMT

Do touch the animals:

The native fauna of Australia is the most bizarre in the world. Egg laying milk feeding poisonous warm blooded marsupials, yep we got them. If you want to see a kangaroo, then do you want to see a little fella tamely eating out of your hand at the local petting zoo, or how about a majestic Western Red bounding across the outback? Just what is it you want to see? Heck go hunt one down on a roo shooting adventure if you want. The cafe culture is excellent in many of our metropolitan centres, but honestly you didn't make it all the way here to sip a latte now did you?

Do find a small piece of it:

Being a wonderfully spacious country you really should be able to find a patch of ground just right for you. Don't try and conquer the whole place, it can't be done in a lifetime, little lone in a few weeks. Pick a piece of it and call it yours.

Don't believe everything we say:

Australians, we love to exaggerate. Every single one of us. We'll tell you just how unlikely it is to walk around the back garden without encountering the most deadly reptile on the planet. Then there's the sheer size of the place. Its bigger than Ben Hur it is. 17 hour flight from Perth to Sydney. Mate you better not leave the airport, you'll never be seen again. Crocodile Dundee was fictitious you know.

Photos: We went the wrong way

josh_shona — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 20:52:00 GMT

Vancouver to Auckland - the long way

The Impossible

josh_shona — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 19:05:00 GMT

To summarise the 5 weeks of our return from Vancouver to Auckland is like reading the blurb of a good book and saying that's that. So here's my blurb.

Actually, a blurb may not be necessary, 3 words is all I need. New. York. City. Arrival into NYC was perfection. Perfection. Everything imaginable. Crushing heat, whizzing yellow cabs, streaming people, flashing neon and unlimited possiblity. Many a guide book will say New York can never be comprehensively explored in lifetime, but we tried our best in a few days. Rockafeller, Empire, Ground Zero, Central Park, Times Square, Natural History Museum, subways, Brooklyn, the movie sets. We did it all. We loved it. Even a long island iced tea, in long island. New York is not the cradle of civilisation, but when it ends (civilisation) New York with be the resting place.

But there's nothing quite like ending an action packed 5 days with a red-eye overnight flight to Iceland. Landing in this most bizarre of lands the rising sun was saying "get up!" but my body was saying "sleep!". Cruising around this budget busting landscape it is best described as unique and like nowhere else I've ever been. 24 hours, and $500 later we flew to Paris.

Ah Paris. It smells. Its dirty. Yet it holds some magical illusion of beauty and romance. At Sacre Couer I gave Shona a little bit of jewellery and we headed to EuroDisney. That place is quite the enigma. Its Disney. But its French. Kind of like a salad from McDonald's I guess. Enjoying a quiet beer in a Jumanji themed restuarant the reality of "Oh shit. Now I have to plan a wedding" hit Shona. We spent the afternoon chasing down a Disney princess, with beer on our breath.

We found our way to Slovakia. And the food. Err. Umm. Fried or umm fried. These are the culinary options. Carbohydrates, meat and fat are the only 3 food groups found here. But the 63 cent beer was a nice antidote.

The city of Florence was next on our list, with a little detour through Pisa. I never liked Italy, but Florence changed my mind. I thought I'd eaten the finest gelato in the city shortly after arriving, only to find the next day truly the finest ice-cream on the planet. The knee buckling divinity of the flavours had my pupils dilating.

Rome was conquered next. It reminded my why I didn't like Italy in the first place.

Moving on, quick keep up, its Barcelona. Celebrar! No Joshua, that horrendous piece of Spanish you're trying to spit out is not being understood, because a) you mangled it and b) Catalan is the native language here. Officially the coolest city in Europe. The place, littered with architectural gems by their beloved Antoni Gaudi is inspirational. I could rattle off a few more adjectives to begin to express how I feel about the place, but what it did was stoke the fires of my travel fuelled heart at a time I thought I needed a bit of a rest. That's how great the place is. Wandering through Gaudi's magnificent park Shona wondered what he must have been taking to envision such fantastic creations.

We enjoyed our time in London, with a huge dose of familiarity sweeping over us. Wallowing in nostalgia we spent a frantic few days hurtling ourselves around both the city and countryside. Even the schedule shattering delays of the London Underground didn't prevent us from falling back in love with the place, such was the bias of our rose tinted glasses. Plus the scones with jam and cream at The Ritz were the finest baked good I've ever devoured.

This meant only one thing left to do. Get on a plane and head to Oz. Each with our own flights, I had a few hours in Brunei and Shona enjoyed a stop in Singapore airport. Arriving in an exhausted heap, the familiar feeling of "new place = new adventure" once again revitalised my body and with more than a few things to do we had another hectic adventure in Brisbane.

Now I rest in Auckland. No more time zone changes. No more flights. I sit bewildered by what we accomplished.The adventure has ended.

Fortunately another has just began. How exactly do you plan a wedding?

Josh and Shona.

Photos: Those French Canadiens

josh_shona — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 07:47:00 GMT

Montreal

A night out on the town.

josh_shona — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 04:22:00 GMT

In the inspiring city of Montreal, Shona and I had the pleasure of a fancy dinner at The Fairmont Hotel. We had the cash to splash (well actually a gift card) but our wardrobe selection was a limited affair. Sadly, the tie and jacket recommendation for gentlemen was not going to be upheld on my end.

Montreal is sexy. Its fashionable, is intimate with cool and blazes a trend setting path. Women ooze sophistication with heels and little black dresses abundant in the evenings and the latest jackets cloak the men of the city. Its nightlife beats with a pulse of a true international destination. Even their French conversations flow infatuatingly. Meanwhile I had my one good shirt. My good trousers have small paint marks. Shona was wearing thongs (or flip flops, or jandals whatever you might like to call them). They were pretty thongs mind you.

Slinking into the hotel I quickly removed my grass stained rain jacket. I knew that table d'hôte was what I wanted for dinner, but I beautifully mangled that french phrase in the way only an Australian accent can. So was dinner a bit of a disaster then? Au contraire!

For you see to be beautiful, to be sexy, to be cool, its not found in an expensive jacket, or a flash set of heels, rather its ordering a bottle of sauvignon blanc not a Coors Light and enjoying the roast duck and hearty offerings with indulgence and enjoyment. We looked just fine in our backpacking clothes as I went for another crème brule and lingered over a final drink. I don't know what the chocolate thingy was but it was simply divine. I'm so full, bah, just one more bite of that pecan pie .

The city was a confusing contradiction. I'm in Canada. I've lived in Canada for the past 16 months. I may have struggled with some of the countries quirks, but never have I been lost to understand the language. No matter, I didn't meet one Montrealian who wasn't bilingual.

It seems that Canada, weighing in at just under 10 million square kilometers cannot be pigeonholed as simply "boring" which is what I've done. Sure the west is a bit dull. And the north is just odd. And that middle bit seems a tad simple. Never got to Ontario, so I can't comment, but Montreal, hmm, that does add a new dimension to the true north strong and free. Or as those french canadians may say "Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux!"

The world's most indirect travellers, Josh and Shona

No more camping.

josh_shona — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 19:46:00 GMT

Thought I better finish the camping adventure story, now that I've started to heal the mental wounds that only living in a tent for 5 weeks can make.

After the Rockies, our final "big destination" was Yellowstone National Park. This was, like every other destination of our 10 week adventure, a huge highlight. Filled with anticipation we drove the 1000km south. Another amusing border crossing, in which I was integrated as to the quantity of drugs I was carrying and when I last used drugs (note: not if but when).

Yellowstone was inspirational. It is a living, breathing, sometimes farting volcano. Huge paddocks of trees stand dead, due to the constant heating of the soil from the volcanic activity below. Random steam vents pop up along the sides of roads, sometimes even in the middle. Magnificent Bison roam fearlessly causing continual traffic delays due to over enthusiastic (as always) American tourists taking photos.

The place was special. It was a glimpse into unimaginable power and energy that lies deep below the earth. It never stops. Its always changing and unlike most geological creations in 20 not 200000 years, you can really see how the place is evolving.

At an elevation of over 2400 meters however the clear sunny skies, became cold frosty nights. The coldest morning was -3°c. That morning, after finishing my cup of tea, the last few drops in the bottom the mug froze. Shona retreated to the car for a bit of sanctuary. I held on, in the knowledge that the morning sun would be warm and beautiful. It was. After a bit too much rain the previous week, the clear skies were exactly what we needed.

But no Moose. No moose ever. Not one of the bastards. We would stun people with our travel story and locations we'd been and the fact we hadn't seen a moose was something as likely as winning the lottery.

We smelt. Everything smelt. We were done. We had effectively, lived outside. I was hard. I could now start a campfire just by looking at some kindling. I could drive tent pegs into concrete if needed. Even Shona stopped worrying about whether a bear might get her in the middle of the night. By this stage the bears probably worried about us. We returned to Vancouver, just a short 1500km trip.

Total distance driven? 8033km.

Total distance sailed? 1820km.

Wildlife tally?

Bears - > 20

Eagles - countless

Whales - lots

Buffalo- >100

Elk - heaps

Caribou- many

Moose - {no comment}

Needless to say the adventure will provide stories to share for a long time to come. And through all the difficulties and frustrations we've done something we both are so very, very proud of.

World's most indirect travellers. Josh and Shona.

Just for Laughs

josh_shona — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 07:42:00 GMT

Josh and I were walking back from old town in Montreal, when someone came running across the street clip board in hand. wanting us to do a survey, explaining that we had to answer questions separately and if we got 5 of the same answers right we would get a dinner voucher. That had Josh.

So we crossed the road,Josh went off to the other survey person and i went with one that asked us over.

He then pulls out a Just for Laughs Card and tells me there are two camera's over there and they are filming and we will play a trick on Josh.

He tells me what Im to do. I go back to Josh and tell him Im just going to go to the toilet in one of the two port a loos that have been place right there on the street. I go in to one where there is no toilet but a hole cut out the back, go out the back and into the one right beside it and wait.

while i am waiting the original port a loo I went in is being lifted into the air and put on a truck.

Now how well do you know Josh? the girl who was with me in the toilet (she was telling me when i could go out again) asked will he panic?

So i get told I can go out again and am suppose to be like "what's the matter i wasn't in that toilet"

But alas Josh is no fool and he knew straight away... so will properly not make the TV show.

Josh 1 Just for Laughs 0

Photos: Yogi, Moose and boiling Mud

josh_shona — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 11:56:00 GMT

Yellowstone National Park

Photos: Its not all about the Rockies

josh_shona — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 11:23:00 GMT

our 8 days in the Canadian Rockies

Its not all about the Rockies

josh_shona — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 05:21:00 GMT

“How were the Rockies?” and with a deep breath, some awkward facial expresssions and hand gestures I do my best to say something nice. For you se as we head out of Canada, we've clocked up over 5000km of driving and seen so, so much.

There was over 3 days of driving along the Alaska Highway. Plunging twists and bends, bears, buffulo, caribou, deer, elk and mountain goats were all part of the scenery driving from Alaska across The Yukon and northern British Columbia.

In the evenings we'd try to sit up and watch the stars come out, but even by 10pm a dull glow on the western horizon kept the night sky at bay. We begged the northern lights to come out and dazzle, but unfortunately they were very quiet and we saw no displays.

Entire lakes, valleys and mountain ranges were ours to enjoy and we soaked up the wide spaces and freedom like sponges.

And then came the Rockies. Tourist hoardes, wet weather and over pricing. This is why I can say little positive about this grand part of the world. So I'll move on. An elk did wander through our campsite in Jasper which was very cool. And Emerald Lake, which is as every bit as good as Lake Louise except without the busloads of tourists, was very special.

My hands are hardening like setting concrete. Freezing nights, wet mornings and 3 straight weeks of living outdoors has added more than a little starch to my once delicate digits. Add the occasional misguided tent peg hammering incident, wood chopping entanglement and fire poking gone wrong and my hands resemble something more err masculine.

Soon we'll be arriving at Yellowstone National Park and they better have some bloody moose there. We've spent hours searching, seeking, waiting, wanting to glimpse these bizarre creatures. Wasn't Rocky and Bullwinkle set in Yellowstone?

The world's most indirect travellers, Josh and Shona.

Photos: Haines is Awesome

josh_shona — Wed, 8 Sep 2010 05:30:00 GMT

Bear city can also be called Haines

Haines : Mudslides and Moose Poo

josh_shona — Wed, 8 Sep 2010 05:21:00 GMT

The Alaskan city of Haines has left an unforgettable imprint and further fueled my love of Alaska. Delivered via our ferry through the inside passage in a blured mix of weariness and excitement, the eye widenning granduer of the Takshanuk Mountains greeted our arrival. Giggles were used to mask the slight anxiety of camping beneath these ice topped, glacier riddled ranges.

It was here in this small coastal town that we were to witness a most wonderful spectacle on the edge of town.

In the 70's the Fisheries Department placed a weir on the Chilkat River to count and monitor the salmon returning to spawn in the fall. This, being prime bear country made for a wonderful location for moma bear to do some fishing. On one side of the weir are thousands (literally) of fishies trying to get upstream, held back by the weir. Meanwhile those little fishies once through tend to rest against this barrier. Out wades Yogi bear, who after feasting to her hearts content, retreats to her forested den. The bears practically need a ticketing system as a queue of grizzlies almost forms. If Sammy the salmon hasn't got it tough enough, North America's largest concentration of Bald Eagles live up the road plucking their fishy fill every morning as well.

So there we are, watching the majestic specticle of grizzlies catching salmon with playful cubs bounding around. So spectacular is the occasion the memory card is full and the camera batteries are flat. We headed out to watch the event unfold a total of four times. Each time it was magnificent.

Meanwhile the elusive moose still evades us. Multiple driving adventures to “select” moose grazing areas has left us empty handed. Tormenting us even more is the sight of fresh moose poo by the roadside and the locals casually mentioning their daily spottings of the animal.

Departing Haines, and Alaska for that matter a wee little mudslide closed the only road out of town for a few hours. Just putting a little exclamation into this grand state of USA that is WILD ALASKA!

The world's most indirect travelers, Josh and Shona.

Photos: Terry takes Monty up the inside passage

josh_shona — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 11:07:00 GMT

our trip on BC Ferries and the Alaska Marine Highway