I was a little disappointed with myself yesterday when I discovered there was a cooking school that did classes AND home-stay. The idea of it fit my original intention for this holiday so exactly, I couldn't help but kick myself mentally. I was really annoyed. All I had to do was plug "Chiang Mai Cooking School" into Google to find it. It was that obvious and that simple. But I somehow didn't have the 5 seconds or more likely, the brains to do it.
It sounds selfish but I'm disappointed I haven't made this holiday entirely for me. It's my birthday week and I had wanted to do something special for myself, but instead my laziness drove me to rely on others. I still appreciate their efforts and am looking forward to meeting them, but I really am just annoyed at my lack of effort. (I wanted to say 'disgusted' but maybe it's too harsh.)
This discovery lead me to two different thoughts:
1. What exactly stopped me from finding this school? Months melted into mush together before my holiday. I completely understand why. I've gone through quite a bit since returning to Brisbane, including buying my own home. I kept feeling I was being raced off my feet. I felt I didn't have time to think about anything. I had work that was stressing me out. I had social engagements to alleviate that stress which tired me out and made feel worse at work. It was a vicious cycle. I recognised it recently but only really understood it since I've been on holiday.
2. I need to be present and enjoy what I have regardless of other possibilities. I would never be satisfied otherwise. Maybe there was a reason why I didn't find the school. If I did, maybe I would never have realised the above and continued on with the vicious cycle. I rest in hope there is a reason for and a lesson in everything. Life has its mysterious ways.
Last night, I rode on a motorbike for the first time in my life. It was exhilarating to say the least... but SUCH an experience. Not just to feel the wind in your face, but the different perspective you get from being in a car. In a car, you're boxed up and protected, watching the scenes behind a barrier. On a motorbike, you feel you're right in with the scenes... there is no glass or metal separating you from what you see. And the aromas... from grilled chicken to gardenias to whatever else. That scent experience, only in South East Asia, made it completely worth it. Such an experience that was only amplified by being completely present.
