The reason I took so long to
write the last entry was that my life in and out of (mostly in) the hospital
has been quite depressing this past 6 weeks, not to mention physically
painful. I was not motivated to write because
I felt like no one wants to hear about how awful things have been for me.
In the interest of not wanting
to throw a pity party for myself, I’m going to tell y’all a few morsels of
comedic relief that have served as a much needed break from the pain & misery
that have been my existence as of late.
Funny nurses: First off, none of them speak English, except for a few words like “Good morning” or “nice to meet you”. Since my Spanish is still not that great, Google translate has become my new best
friend. Of course, the translation
sometimes is not completely accurate, so I’m still never quite sure if I’m
communicating what I think I am saying and I’m never quite sure if their
response they give is exactly what they meant to say. One of the more colorful nurses,
upon taking my underwear from me to give me a sponge bath, starting gyrating her hips
and dancing whilst spinning my undies over her head like a lasso and hollering
with a “Whoop Whoop”. Oh, and she's probably at least 50 something...That was pretty
ridiculous and funny. Another one of the
nurses has a big crush on me, as evidenced by her Google translation of “you have beautiful eyes” and other such
blatant flirtations and her constant giggles and googley eyes she gives me. I didn’t have the
heart to tell her that I’m gay.
Bathroom antics: Well, I wasn’t sure how to say diarrhea, but
I had some because of the food, or antibiotics, or something, so the best way I
could think of to tell them was to say I had “agua poo poo” (water poo poo). They think it's hilarious when I say agua poo poo, but I have a feeling they still have no idea what I'm talking about. They also have a little vase which they call
my “pee pee jar”. They are constantly
putting my pee pee jar back in the bathroom, which does me no good because I am
attached to an iv drip and can’t get to the bathroom without first calling them
with my button presser gizmo. So, I’m
constantly reminding them to please leave the pee pee jar next to my bed and not in
the bathroom. They don’t seem to ever
remember, so I’m constantly asking for my pee pee jar…. You know things are pretty bad
when you’re reduced to being amused by “pee pee jars” and “agua poo poo” talk.
I’m sure there were a couple of
other funny moments, but they are escaping my memory right now…Although things
pretty much suck, I keep reminding myself of these things:
1) I
have traveler’s insurance which is footing the bill for all or most of this entire
fiasco.
2) I
could have hit my head or broken more bones or both legs instead of just
fracturing my heel when I fell off the ladder.
(The other day my parents were trying to cheer me up via Skype and my
father said in a very serious and even stern tone something like “look on the
bright side, you could be in a coma right now!!!” After a brief pause, my mother said “Charles!!!! Would you stop being so dramatic” as we all
burst into laughter…maybe you had to be there, but his melodramatic statement
got me to laugh when I was feeling very low.
3) I’m
being very well taken care of with care equal, or possibly better, medical care
than in the U.S. because I’m at a private hospital where all
the Ambassadors and such go. Again,
thank the heavens for my traveler’s insurance.
4)
My family have been so sweet, caring and loving, and I have a few
friends down here who have really been here for me, bringing me little gifts, snacks and candy, translating with the nurses for me and
keeping me company. I would feel really
lonely right now without these friends in my life.
5)
I have my own room at the hospital with a large flat screen T.V. It could be much worse if I had to share a
room with a stranger with who knows what condition.
6)
I am able to continue with my teaching job via Skype, which is actually better for me because I
save money on taxis and time on not having to commute.
7) I've had LOTS of time to study and improve my Spanish and have been spending an average of three hours a day doing just that...
Where things stand now, I went through a series of surgeries to clean
out the infection and they finally got rid of all the damaged tissue and such
and sewed my foot back up two days ago. I need to stay in the hospital a few more days
and then they will remove the bandages from my foot to see if it’s healing well. If it is, I get to leave the hospital and
continue my recovery as an outpatient. So I
should be back up and hobbling around on the crutches again very soon….
So, in summary, my situation
could definitely be better, but it could also be a lot worse….I’m doing my best
to keep a positive attitude and am doing what the doctor’s tell me to do, so I can
heal properly and get back on my feet (literally). I am pretty sure that the worse party of this
ordeal is behind me. I started daily hyperbaric oxygen
therapy today to help me heal faster and am still on anti-biotics, so I think
things are looking up for me. To quote the great 1970's disco diva Gloria Gaynor, "I WILL
SURVIVE!!!! :)
