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The Awesome Adventures of Hannah and Emma

To grandmother's house we go... OR Dining with mobsters

JAPAN | Monday, 21 September 2009 | Views [898] | Comments [10]

It all started innocently enough with a trip to Hiroshima to visit my grandmother (the tiniest and cutest little 89yr old woman ever - hence forth referred to as Obaachan). After some fam jam visiting, my Obaachan's next door neighbour (a stately looking 65 yr old man) invited Hannah, myself and my cousin (Hiromi) for dinner [note: neither my father, nor his wife was invited... warning flag?]

My Obaachan's neighbour's friend came to join us at the restaurant and even at first glance we could tell that we were in for an interesting night. This guy looked like an Asian Tony Soprano (hence forth referred to as Soprano-san), was wearng a jacket that resembled a bin-liner and proceeded to order everthing on the menu, hit on my cousin, and order round upon round of drinks for us all and pay for all of our meals. Despite his huge and rather intimidating appearance, Soprano-san seemed pretty harmless and kind of a baller (although he did awkwardly interrogate me about the difference between Canadian and Japanese toilets? - warning flag #2)

After dinner it was decided that we should all go to karaoke place for a "snack" (warning flag #3). On our way, my limited Japanese was able to decipher that Soprano-san is actually a YAKUZA BOSS (the Yakuza are the Japanese mafia).... UMMM.... WHAT?!?!?! (warning flags #4-12876923)

The Karaoke bar actually turns out to be a tiny mobster-run hostess bar filled with the asian version of the entire cast of Goodfellas. There we were treated like royalty, drank nothing but the best, and were waited on hand a foot by a line-up of models/wenches. Mid-way through this hilarity Soprano-san took a short break from drunkenly ogling Hannah's ta-tas and my legs to take a phone call which was immediately followed by the arrival of a man who got on his knees and bowed in front of him, received a black leather purse (even the mafia here has bad style) and then exited the building?? The singing (Soprano-san had the voice of an angel??), drinking and hilarity continued for what must have been hours until we all stumbled into cabs and went home.

Seriously... I cannot even make this stuff up.

Absolutely ridiculous... we would put up the picture for fear of turning up at the bottom of a river somewhere outside Tokyo!

Tags: crazy night, drinking, hiroshima, japan

Comments

1

Emma, this seriously has to be the best travel story EVER!

  Aleks Sep 22, 2009 4:47 AM

2

I could immediately tell that this was you, ems, writing this post! Only you could come up with a narrative like this, very much similar to your creative movement days!

Glad to hear you're having such an amazing time! miss you

  Katie Sep 22, 2009 4:56 AM

3

MY God,
i envy only continues after this story! ... so does that mean you have yakuzzi hook ups now?
plz let me know asap. :P

  Bobby Sep 22, 2009 6:47 AM

4

siiiick!
overeating japanese food, mobsters, wenches, and karaoke.
youve stumbled upon my heaven. (minus the soprano-sans sexual advances)

  liam Sep 22, 2009 10:13 AM

5

Wow, You are getting into some good stuff. Did I ever tell you about my old girl friend's (Junko) step brother was a 4 fingered yakuza boss. Similar scenario with the hostess bar etc... Brian H and I foolishly spent too many evening with the Yakuza buying drinks and even stupider evening with chimpira (yakuza wannabes) and then I forgot about the really weird red army night. Nothing like this will ever happen in Canada. If it did you would be pushing up daisies. When asked about bathrooms say Hana o totsu (picking flowers) or as folks in Perth say wilder pee - have fun lots of love

  Unkle Peter Sep 23, 2009 2:20 AM

6

Neil Patrick Harris Emmy Host 2010 announces the winners for writing in the category of Best Travel Comedy Series...How I Met Your Father Soprano-san.

  Aunt Diane Sep 23, 2009 3:24 AM

7

Bwahahahaha! Dis...is awesome! Glad you made it out alive. :)

  Shangrila Sep 23, 2009 4:23 AM

8

Drinking with the mob, wow. You sure are living the life over there Hannah! Glad to see that you made it out alive so you can keep these hilarious travel stories coming! ;)

  Danielle Pwn Sep 23, 2009 12:55 PM

9

Why is it that I feel things will get weirder and weirder as this trip evolves...?
Love the blog...
Hugs from home,
/mum

  Mum Sep 24, 2009 5:45 AM

10

Oh man. You two little fellas get yourself into some hilarious situations. haha. Man - I bet that was an experience, to say the least. :)
Love love from the Loo.

  Aly Oct 2, 2009 2:08 AM

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