The Awesome Adventures of Hannah and Emma

S'long Not Goodbye ... OR If BSB can go on hiatus, so can I

hannahandemma — Tue, 4 May 2010 20:38:00 GMT

Hey friends!

After a whirlwind couple of weeks that consisted of:

- a trip to London where Hannah, Sehr and I shopped, dreamed of becoming wealthy enough to live in Chelsea (prophetic?), climbed the lions in Trafalger Square, didn't write an essay (sorry Sehr!), cried in Starbucks, ate delicious Nandos and begrudgingly made friends with a guy from Montreal

- a visit from my Aunt and Uncle where we were tourists in Edinburgh (read - pub hopped) and visited Glasgow for the amaazing shopping (but seriously, poor Glasgow is the dodgiest city ever - everything on the tour was "we were going to do something awesome... but we ran out of money" or "we used to be really good at this... but then the industry collapsed")

- nights out with my Edinburgh family

- and another trip to London where Hannah and I had BEER LAO! ... oh and also went to see Macbeth at the Globe and I got to see Hannah's AMAZING new flat in the poshest most gorgeous area ever and I almost missed my flight because we were making friends in Vodaphone... BUT BEER LAO!! Oh delicious nectar!

I'm back in Toronto! So I'm hanging up my adventure/blogging hat (I imagine it would resemble that worn by the great Indiana Jones ... "Docta Jones Docta Jones!!") for the time being. But if I've learnt anything from these last 8 months, life is fluid and nothing apart from family and good friends are constants (you know, that old Hanoi chestnut). So with that I say, cheers for all the support and readership - it's been a blastie blast! Take it away Hannah, it's all on you now bestie!

xox

Emma

Island Life... OR Unqualified Cultural Observations From Your Favourite Half-Breed

hannahandemma — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 05:42:00 GMT

The more time I've spent here the more similarities I've found between the eccentricities we laughed at on the Tokyo subway and the ones that have chuckling here in Edinburgh. At first I couldn't quite see it, maybe because I expected the UK to be "Canada with an accent", but in truth it really has much more in common with Japan, half a world away, than it's former North American colony. The love of fancy dress/cosplay (extravagent theme parties!), the superiority complex (domestically and abroad! oh the drama!), the constant drinking (no complaint here!), the obsession with food (or maybe I'm projecting?), and tea! So much tea!

At one time, both Japan and the UK were great powers in the world. And let's face it, while their actual prestige may have declined, they still like to think they are Jack on the Titanic (you know, "King of the World"?). They have this strange love-hate relationship with their monarchy/class system. While they publicly love to wax poetic about being classless, there is still great reverence for the old ways that are so ingrained in society. The national anthems are all about the Queen and the Emperor (or so I'm told...). And let's not even get into the bizarre fact that literally a 2 hour car ride to a different town can produce a change in accent that makes the locals completely incomprehesible.

Maybe it's the fact that they are both island nations that have cause them to evolve in such a similar way. But then again, you don't see the Bahamians starting and ending every day with a cup of tea and the Jamaicans are not exactly known for their stiff-lipped avoidance of emotion. Maybe being trapped on a tiny floating land mass without the ability to chill out on tropical beaches is what has made them so special/uptight/ambitious. I'm just glad they have replaced their shared penchant for expanding their empires for a common love for reality television (Japan may have the most intense game shows, but England has "My Fat Gypsy Family").

In the end, what I love most about my two fave countries is that they both have so much character and history. Everywhere you look there are castles, and churches and temples (soo many freaking temples!) - the legacies of two great and inspired nations of peoples... with a whole lot of time on their hands. It almost makes you wonder what the history of the world would have been had they just had a bit more sun...

Reflections on the UK OR How to compare your life to the Lord of the Rings Trilogy

hannahandemma — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 09:44:00 GMT

When you return to the daily grind, otherwise known as reality, sometimes it takes a while to get back into the swing of things. It’s been difficult, and there have been some changes to our expected life plans. None of which I think need to be discussed here. Remember this is a hilarious blog, not a sixteen year old girl’s diary.Oh but maybe that was just me?

Emma told me the other day, in her usual sage and wise demeanor...you know....very Gandalf the Grey to Bilbo styles, minus the beard and weird homoerotic undertones, that “life is like crossing a street in Hanoi, sometimes you just have to close your eyes and go for it”.......I know, right? Amazing line. Epic line. It will be in films. Its been copyrighted. We keep telling everyone that we should have a t.v show or a book. Seriously.

It then only just hit me that we had moved to a country. We aren’t just traveling anymore. Things aren’t going to be easy. I just kind of expected everything to fall into place. But it’s going to be difficult. Ergo, Emma and I are Sam and Frodo climbing Mount Doom, which would make Jo...Gollum? Hmmm sometimes the comparison doesn’t work very well. Lets ignore that one....Jo is wayyy better looking and nowhere near as crazy about rings.

Oh, FYI, Jo is our base in Edinburgh. She is pretty much the most awesome person you will ever meet, and has allowed us to crash at her house while we (or maybe just me) figure things out. I don’t know if there will ever be anyway for us to thank her. But we will try to think of something. Over the past few weeks, I have come to realize that although unemployed, I have some of the best people in my life right now. Everyone has been really supportive. I don’t know what I would have done without it (and that’s as mushy as I am going to get there).

I have one of the best friends in the world. Friendship might be tested by the frustrations of travel or the changing of life plans. But not this one. Friendship is being able to sit on a park bench for an hour laughing like lunatics (I stress the lunatic part), or being able to drink a box of wine (no judgement), or discussing Halloween costumes involving Aladdin and the Genie (yes, its going to happen and it will be awesome), or making sure our future children will look like a Benetton ad (no pressure, Ems), or crying at romantic parts in films and then pretending it didn’t happen (too many to mention). You, dearest blog readers, only hear about the funny parts. Mostly because there’s a lot of hilarious times that must be shared to boost our street cred. But we know how to be serious, and are focused on making sure we have amazing lives. So please don’t worry, (parents, especially). Hey, if Frodo got the Ring to Mordor, Emma and I are going to be as the Scots like to say, just grand!

A Wee Curse... OR My Nemesis - Eddie the Eagle

hannahandemma — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:44:00 GMT

T'was the week before my birthday (mark your calendars... I'm expecting gifties :P) and all through the house everything was breaking, even a... mouse? OK, fear not, we are not living amongst any dead mice and I'm not going to become the next Shell Silverstein anytime soon. But seriously I think that Hannah and I are cursed - since we have moved into Jo's house her washing machine, TV and bathroom door have all mysteriously broken! (Well, to be fair the bathroom door wasn't really a mystery as it was the victim of a Chuck Norris roundhouse delivered by our very own delicate petal Hannah) Not only that, we were almost duped by an internet scammer who tried to swindle us! Apparently it is all the rage in Nigeria to go on gumtree.com (a Craig's List type internet classifieds site) and pose as a landlord who is doing business in France and needs you to send a Western Union money transfer to your flatmate to prove you have the funds to rent the flat - then print off the receipt and collect the money for yourself!! We narrowly avoided being fleeced but someone needs to get these guys some Tamagochis to play with - now there was a victimless fad. Continuing with this paranormal yarn, on Saturday night we went on a ghost tour of Edinburgh which was amazing fun. The tour guide was really funny and knowledgeable and nothing will ever beat hearing Hannah's girly screams nor mend the broken bones in my left hand. If you ever find yourself in Edinburgh go on this tour, it's awesome.

A quick note on the Olympics - No one and I seriously mean no one in the UK gives a hoot about the winter Olympics. Now I know they suck at most winter sports (and coping with winter weather - i.e. the large scale freak out over 3inches of snow that immobilized the nation) and God forbid their attention be slightly diverted from the fanaticism of football fandom, but they have never even heard of Michelle Kwan?? Seriously?! So you can imagine how frustrating and heartbreaking it is as a card-carrying Olympics fan (let alone Winter Olympics where the world's greastest sport - yeah I went there - FIGURE SKATING is heavily featured) in the year that Canada is the host, to be in a country that is openly apathetic toward the games. And the time difference is a crippling 8 hours which means that I have to try and record the highlight reel before I go to bed which never has the events I want, or attempt to stream it online the next day after reading about it on the CBC at work. Don't get wrong, I love this place - I'll just love it more when the Olympics are over. No joke, if I hear someone talk about "Eddie the Eagle" one more time I'm packing my bags and heading home... Or jumping in a Loch. Aye.

Living in Bonnie Scotland OR How Saying 'Aye' Makes You Sound Like A Seagull From "Finding Nemo"

hannahandemma — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 21:36:00 GMT

Hello Friends!

We seriously neglected this blog given the craziness of the last few months, but have no fear, as I am still currently unemployed, running out of things to do, and desperately requiring some intellectual stimulation (that does not include watching Countdown at 3 p.m everyday) I have taken up the torch. Ergo, the blog is being revived.

Emma has joined the land of the employed and is slaving away in the offices of HSBC between the hours of 9 and 5. Much to my dismay, but a positive addition to her bank account. Which, we don't actually have yet since arriving in the UK. Its a long story, but for future reference, if you want anything in England/Scotland/Ireland or Wales, have proof of residence. Its been the bane of our lives.

Apart from this slight hiccup, things have been going amazingly well. Edinburgh is a beautiful city located between the highlands and the sea. It is, as Emma says, very "old timey". But we love it and have been living up to our true traveling potential by discovering different areas of the city. You know, a nice walk up the Royal Mile, an energetic jaunt up Arthur's Seat and a good deal of purchasing bottles of wine and watching t.v- but hey, its our life.

Many things that I didn't think of as remotely strange or weird have been brought to my attention by my born and bred Canadian gal pal as we have turned our attentions to taking over the UK. Some of which I think should be shared with our followers.....(Dear God, thank you for still reading this!)

1. Scottish people like to say "aye". Its hilarious yet frustrating at the same time.

2. Football (or soccer) is not just a sport here. Its a religion. Its a reason to live (or die, if you are into finding out about soccer hooliganism- a la Green Street Hooligans featuring Elijah Wood which we highly recommend)

3. The British boy band JLS are pretty much the coolest thing we have seen since SMAP in Japan. And that's saying a lot. Sometimes its nice to see choreographed dances again. Its very 90s.

4. Emma's hand signing version of "peace out" comes across as the British version of "f**ck off"

5. What's the deal with everyone's hair being dyed some sort of red tinge in Edinburgh? Seriously...its tacky.

6. One of Emma's greatest ambitions is to be called a "canny lassie" by my Grandpa. Its happened. No big deal.

7. So You Think You Can Dance UK is not as good as the U.S version. Sorry guys, its just not. And you copy dances from the U.S version. You cannot get anything by us.

8. Chocolate. The chocolate here is fantastic. Make no mistake, Canada, you are missing out.

9. Did we mention the old timey buildings????

10. Stereotypes: Scotland isn't as cold as everyone says it is. And it hasn't even rained that much since we have been here. But people do drink a lot of tea. We are averaging about four cups a day.

Don't worry, Canada, we do miss you. You know, the -30 temperatures, good awful amounts of snow and the Olympic craziness ....hmm maybe not so much. However, Tim Hortons and Alexander Keith, if you do make your way over the pond, please get in touch. I miss you dearly.

The Great White North... OR Living in Limbo

hannahandemma — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 16:45:00 GMT

After 4 plane rides, 8 in-flight films and countless cups of coffee I made it back to Toronto. Despite the bitter shock of negative degree weather (the temperature when I left Bali was 37C) and the fact that I was wearing sandals with 3 inches of snow on the ground, it was good to be home. I forgot what it was like to understand what is going on, to not have to struggle to communicate with people, to have someone you know waiting at the airport ready to take you to your destination and NOT try to rip you off in the process... Tim Hortons everywhere! Oh yeah, and seeing my family was great too obvi.

However the warm feeling of being on familiar ground was replaced some 48hrs later with the less enjoyable feeling of H1N1. But thanks to the wonders of Tamiflu I bounced back a week later and was ready to take on... NOTHING.

Having booked my flight to the UK for the 21st of January (after having gotten my work visa sorted very quickly) I have been in the very odd position of having nothing to do. I am a housewife with no house, husband or children. I have taken up knitting. This is not a joke. It was all fun and games the first couple of days - catching up on TV, facebook creeping, seeing friends. But with everyone I know off being productive human beings, and after having spent the last four months on the go, it's hard not to feel a little restless. Additionally, it is supremely weird to be away from Hannah for this long. I know, I know, insert your "what are you guys dating now?" jokes here, but when you spend 4 months with absolutely ZERO separation from someone it's a big adjustment when they are all the way on a different continent. For a whole month. Miss ya Jobin!

Coming home is a weird adjustment. It feels as though so much time has gone by, and yet at the same token that nothing has changed. It is much easier to slip back into Canadian life than I had anticipated but I still find myself comparing everything to the trip (I'm sure to the annoyance of everyone I speak to). It's crazy how 4 months can be so influential on your life under some circumstances and go by completely unnoticed under others... All this sitting around and knitting has made me uncharacteristically reflective. I should probably get some fresh air this week?

Regardless, in 9 short days I will be in the UK on the start of our next epic (European) adventure. What awaits us? Your guess is as good as mine! Hopefully we will find gainfull employment quickly so that we can refill our desperate looking bank accounts and get back to our usual highjinx!

Sayonara/Sabaidee/Sawadikah/Selamat Jalan Asia! ... OR Close Encounters of the Malaysian Kind

hannahandemma — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 19:05:00 GMT

Alas, this is it. I am currently in Kuta Bali waiting ever so patiently (read - NOT patiently) for my flight to Seoul, then NYC, then (28 hours later) Toronto. It seems like mere days ago that I was sitting back in the Tdot shaking with anticipation to get this trip underway - and now we are finished the Asian leg of our adventure. Where did the time go? But I'm getting ahead of myself, all the sentimental touchy-feel-y stuff can wait for another entry. For now I shall fill you in on our escapades over the last couple weeks.

The last post ended in Singapore as we waited to get on a night bus to Cherating, Malaysia. There is no way to fully recount what a hugely epic fail that place was. First off, the night bus dumped us at the side of the highway (about a 15min walk from Cherating - which doesn't seem like alot until you strap on the weight of a small child in the form of a backpack) at 3:30 AM. We were tired, groggy and none too please to have to not only find the town, but also try to find a hostel that would be open and willing to take us in. Luckily we found a hotel on the way towards town that had a 24 hour reception. At first appearance (and judging by the price) we were pretty excited to be staying at a "nice hotel" and figured we deserved a bit of luxury after our ordeal... that was until we saw the room. There was mold everywhere and I don't even want to think about how the place would have lit up if we had a CSI-style black light with us. We checked out a mere 7 hours later and hauled our backpacks through the 34 degree Malaysian heat to Cherating proper to find ourselves a place to get settled. Now, MAYBE we came at the wrong time of year and MAYBE the monsoon season really wipes out the tourism or MAYBE there was a boom 5 years ago (the time when our Rough Guides was published... bad call) that has subsequently died out; but Cherating is a ghost town, and for the record it didn't rain once. The town reminded us of those small eerily sketchy towns (generally in places like Tennesse or Texas) where bad horror filmed are set. I would not have been surprised to see a tumbleweed roll on by. There was not a single other non-Malaysian person there. I genuinely feared that we had stumbled into some bizzare black market body part selling operation and that we would wake up in the morning with organs missing... if we woke up. The last person to stay at our guesthouse was a 43 year old guy from Japan... in SEPTEMBER. Clearly our first move was to get tickets for the next bus out of there, and the girl who worked at the travel agency was genuinely shocked to see us.

After the failure of Cherating we spent the next 5 days in Kuala Lumpur. It gave us a chance to put our "tourist hats" back on and we did lots of sightseeing-type activites. KL is a really interesting city with a great multicultural vibe. Some of the sights were a let down (i.e. the two most famous - the Batu Caves and the Patronas Towers) but we still had fun and got to indulge in some cheap cinema trips; the best of which was Ninja Assassin which, despite it's horrible plot/writing/dialogue/acting was the most entertaining film we saw (TOLD YOU SO :P)

Then it was off to Indonesia where the last week flew by at a lightning quick pace. We went to the Gili Islands to "par-tee"... but really just ended up chilling out and melting in the ridiculous heat. If I ever worry about finding a manfriend I just need to come to Indonesia. Without trying to sound vain, Indonesian guys REALLY have a thing for me? It's embarrassing. I literally have a harem following me around everywhere I go. As we waited for a bus to the ferry in Lombok a group of 5-6 guys literally FLOCKED around me and the group tripled when I started to hand out Canadian pins that I had in my bag. Then we were off to Kuta Bali where we stayed at the nicest bed and breakfast (after arriving at the hotel we had booked online at 7:30pm, being disgusted and leaving to find new digs) and spend our last days hanging out and avoiding Australians (VERY difficult to do). After Hannah left for the UK (miss you little buddy!) I have been trying to keep myself occupied and even splurged on a surf lesson (and managed to stand up a few times too!). and now am waiting to go to the airport and head back to snowy Canada and some long-awaited Tim Horton's!!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Kap Kum Kah Thailand!... OR Wins and Fails of the Andaman Coast

hannahandemma — Wed, 9 Dec 2009 20:40:00 GMT

It's official, after 7 awesome weeks we have finally left Thailand and this entry comes to you from an internet cafe in Singapore while we wait for a night bus to Cherating, Malaysia. We spent our last days in Thailand island hopping on the Andaman Coast... here are our Wins:

- Going to see New Moon - This was actually in Bangkok just before we left for Phuket, but listening on the Thai audience squeal with delight was a definite win... and yes, we were squealing along with them

- Khlong Nin Beach on Koh Lanta - We spent a week on this AMAZING beach. Beautiful white sands, gorgeous turquoise water (that glittered like Edward Cullen's skin... yup, I went there) and never more than 12 other people on the 10 km stretch.

- Jai Dee Home - Our fave hangout on the beach that had awesome food (muesli fruit and yoghut - NO banana!, yorkshire tea, spring rolls!), free internet and the nicest couple who ran the place (James and Gung our new besties, even if they don't know it)

- 200 Baht Thai Massages - A slight addiction

- 2 Cornettos a day - A serious addiction... win for our taste buds, fail for our waistbands

- Having two middle aged German guys tell us the most hilarious story of how they ended at the multi-million dollar Thai vacation home of a gay Swedish aristocrat - This story was told to us at 7am as they got back to the guesthouse (still hammered) and we were waiting to be picked up for the ferry... Sample: "It Vas Crrrraaazzzyy!!" "He had a picture viss zee Dalai Lama!"

- My latent observation skills finally kicking into gear by spying Dan out the window as we got Thai massages (Hannah's masseuse was a ladyboy, hence her distraction)

- Climbing up to the viewpoint on Koh Phi Phi - It didn't feel like a win at the time, but that brings our mountain count up to 5

- Making an awesome birthday cape for Ben on his birthday

- Going to the beach where they shot "The Beach" and having handstand contests

- A Law and Order marathon on TV in Phuket - We've missed our crime dramas!!

... and now the Fails:

- Phuket - The place itself is a fail. We hate it there. Enough said.

- Getting a giant obstruction in my ear from the salt water and (after 3 days of deafness) having to go to the health clinic to get it removed - It's better now, thanks.

- Trying to rent a motorbike - Even though children ride around on them all the time here, it's NOT that easy... just ask the giant burn on my left leg

- Getting food poisoning from a "nice restaurant" - Not only did we not enjoy the food at the time, it made us ill for hours (days for Hannah)

- Hannah getting locked in the bathroom in Phuket - (I'm laughing as I type this) The lady who ran the guesthouse literally had to cut open a whole in the door with a screwdriver and remove the handle... while Hannah stood in the bathroom naked.

- Hannah getting an eye infection and looking like she had "needs" - A bottle of eye drops later, it's looking much better now

- I got a migrane and spent half an hour bawling my face off in the bathroom at Phuket Airport - Then took too many pills and ended up strung out and falling asleep on and around everything

- Walking in circles in the rain in Singapore only to realize that we had walked past the bus terminal we had been looking for about 5 times... it stopped raining the minute we found it, obvi

All in all, we have had an awesome time in Thailand and are excited to see what awaits us in our last two weeks in South East Asia!

Kap Kum Kah Thailand! It's been a blasty blast!

GAP Adventures Group Trip Week 2... OR Boats and Monsoons Do NOT Mix

hannahandemma — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:46:00 GMT

Our second week of the groupie life started off with two eye-opening days in Bangkok. The first night we went with Ben, Dan and Lewis to a Ping Pong show. All I will say is that judging by the number of middle aged Thai and European couples in the audience "dinner and a show" takes on a whole new meaning in Thailand. The next day the five of us went to ultra modern Siam Square (home to no less than four 8 or 9 story shopping malls) and saw 2012. The film was ramesauce but worth it to expereince standing for the national anthem while a 3 minute montage about the King played across the big screen. After a crammed tuk-tuk ride (five 20-somethings squished into a glorified tin bathtub attatched to a moped) we were off on the dreaded sleeper train to Koh Sok National Park. Little did I know that the sleeper train would be a much welcomed treat on the way back to the BKK.

After settling into our rain forest bungalows, (mine and Hannah's was up on a hill which was a lot of exercise but had an awesome view and was the only one without ants) we went tubing down a river sort of like in Laos, but without the moonshine. I totally failed at tubing for some reason and could never stay in the current? So our super creepy guide had to basically push me the whole way to the Monkey Temple where we got to feed and hang out with monkeys (they even held our hands!). The next day Lewis, Ben, Hannah and I opted out of the group trip and went exploring in the national park. It was all fun and games until we decided to go to the "Panoramic Viewpoint" that turned out to be an hour of stairs and rickety rope bridges (and Jumanji, Indiana Jones and Lost references) only to reach... nothing. The viewpoint was just the middle of the trees? And somehow the stairs that we climbed on the way there were also ascending on the way back? Exhaustion, sweating, cursing and, of course, rainfall are all I can remember from our walk back to the bungalows.

From Koh Sok we took a ferry (or as Tee liked to call it, the "FurLy"... he could get one of the "R"s but not the second? Got to love him.) from Surat Thani to Koh Samui. We had about a 2 hour window of sunshine on Koh Samui before the unceasing downpour of rain commenced but we all trouped out that night for Ann's birthday celebrations.

The next day can only be described as one of the worst experiences of my life. We took a "speedboat" from Koh Samui to Koh Tao... In a monsoon? I have never been that sick in my life (especially in public... rame). I'm convinced that when I am transported to hell, this will be Satan's preferred mode of transportation. Even worse was the change back to solid ground and it took an hour to recover. But recover we did and Koh Tao was a really nice island where we hung out on the beach and at the pool and generally had a great time.

Our last night on Koh Tao we went out on the island with the boys and ended up skipping on the beach with a rope of fire, night swimming, having piggyback races and generally having a rowdy good time. Unfortunately Hannah's camera and my iPod didn't survive the night :(
The next day we said bye to the boys, took 3 Gravol each and knocked ourselves out for the speedboat back to the mainland and the much anticipated sleeper train back to Bangkok and the end of our GAP Adventure!

GAP Adventures Group Tour Week 1 ... OR Tesus Christ Superstar

hannahandemma — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:49:00 GMT

In the days leading up to our much anticipated group trip, in all honestly, we were feeling a little nervous. Would we die on the trek due to our lack of physical fitness? Would the people be super lame? Would we be able to adapt from doing our own thing all the time to going along with the group? Would people get our weird and hilarious quirks? Would it be worth the huge lumps of money we shelled out? But looking back on the trip I can definitely say that I wouldn't trade those two weeks for anything.

After meeting our group/tour leader (an amazing enigmatic Thai man named "T" - more fondly known at Tesus Christ, T-biscuit, T-Rex, T-Xibit... you get the picture) and a night out on Khao San Road, the first week of the tour began with an overnight sleeper train to the northern province of Chang Mai and the worst most non-existent sleep of my life. We spent a day in Chang Mai hanging out at the pool, going to the night market and exploring before heading out early the next morning to start our "trek".

Our local guides - Sammy and "Mowgli" (we didn't find out his actual name until the last day of the trek - and to be honest I still can't remember it!) - were phenomenal. They were so much fun, had limitless energy (almost to the point where it was annoying to see them leaping around as well sweated and panted), and cooked us the most amazing meals from food that they ported on their backs up the mountains we could barely crawl up. They also led us in some ridiculously hilarious trekking games (that resulted in everyone having their entire faces covered in charcoal) and would set off firecrackers randomly throughout the day without warning.

The first day we got to play in a waterfall (and pretend to be Pocahontas?) and trekked just under 2 excruciating hours to the first hilltribe village where we spent the night. All 12 of us slept in one big room that smelt of tea leaves and was situated over top of a barn (complete with roosters who woke us at 5am). The village was such a departure from anything I have ever seen and was truly eye opening. There were animals everywhere (including TONS of little piggies! :):):)). The only shower was a network of bamboo shoots that funneled water to a spot in the river. In classic Emma style, I managed to fall and wipe out the entire bamboo structure. Literally. Luckily a man from the village ran down and was able to reassembled the mess I had made. Talk about an epic fail.

The next day we trekked for four hours to an elephant reserve and got to ride elephants for 2 hours to the next village. There is no way to describe riding a massive leathery elephant through the jungle except that it was AWESOME. The elephants were so cool (and have hair?) and were really well behaved - except for Charley and Izzie's which kept spraying them with dust and muck with its trunk.

The last day of trekking didn't really involve any trekking, just bamboo rafting for about 3 hours down a river that may or may not have had rapids (luckily us girls had Tesus to maneuver our raft). The scenery was out of control and even though we were completely submerged (the girls weren't allowed to help paddle?... not that we would have been much help anyways) and almost capsized a few times, it was hilarious fun.

After a night of Ring of Fire back at the hotel in Chang Mai (started off by my dropping a 26er of Vodka on the ground at Tesco creating a lake of alcohol in the juice aisle), we spent our last day up north in an all-day cooking class (yes, you read right) where we learned how to make 6 different dishes (including our beloved Pad Thai) from a hilarious Thai chef. Then in was back to Bangkok on the dreaded sleeper train to say bye to some of our new friends and pick up a few newbies.

... and that was just the first week!

Memories of Koh Samet ... OR We're Together - But Not Like That!

hannahandemma — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:31:00 GMT

I know you have all been waiting with bated breath for our next post, so fear not, we have not been abducted and sold into white slavery (win!).

We are currently in the midst of our GAP Adventures group tour that has already spawned some ridiculous stories not the least of which was when my complete lack of balance destroyed a hilltribe village's water supply (I wish I was joking.. So much for figure skaters having an innate sense of grace). But more on that in a week or so...

Before we met up with our group tour we spent about 12 glorious days living the good life on the tiny little island of Koh Samet where our daily activities consisted of going to the beach, eating chocolate croissants from the guesthouse bakery, making friends with local women who ran a pad thai stall and being on first name basis with the majority of the bartenders on the island (including one crazy character who gave us a haircut one afternoon at his beach side bar). It was a much appreciated break from our intense pace and despite waking up every morning with intentions to "explore the island", we never went further than 10km from the guesthouse.

Despite being really small, the island was full of hilarious characters like Muscle Man (a bartender/Mui Thai boxing instructor/Jenga master who was unwittingly trapped in a relationship with a psycho Canadian girl - Canada fail - despite the fact that he barely spoke English and she knew no Thai), Ridiculously Tanned Guy (a 50+ year old Aussie who was more tanned than any of the Thais on the island, got absolutely hammered every night, and one afternoon on the beach told us all about how he was fathered a half-Thai child on the island but had been recently dumped by the mother), Audi (a bartender/hairdresser/fiberglass worker? who was hilarious fun until he revealed his true colours), the Fire Show Guys (two guys who worked in the beach's nightly fire show - a spectacle that combined fire, 12 guys between the ages of 13 and 26, and at least one nearly fatal mistake a night - who tried to impress us with some really bad magic tricks), Dawson (an insanely drunk Thai man who was so puzzled and confused by my "You Thai, but you no Thai" looks that he followed me around all night until he was sent home) and so many more. Apart from the crazies we also made some new traveler friends who were a ton of fun, and in a crazy twist of fate ran into our Kiwi friend from Ha Long Bay on the beach.

Leaving the island was kind of bittersweet, but it was great to get to Bangkok for a change of pace and to indulge in some long awaited creature comforts. We finally went to McDonalds for the first time since Japan! :) And also went to the movies at the nicest, cheapest most futuristic cinema ever. We even went to Starbucks when they were having a promotional holiday party of some sort and ended up getting to sample 8 new beverages and 3 different desserts for free and I even won another dessert in a raffle!

All in all Thailand has been amazing so far and we can't wait to see what else it has to offer us! :)

Loving (and Leaving) Laos... OR Tuk-Tuks, Tubing and Thai Visas

hannahandemma — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:52:00 GMT

Laos is the most chilled out, laid-back, relaxed place I have ever been. Seriously. It's like the Jamaica of the East (or so I assume, never having been to Jamaica). While it's taken Hannah a little while to get used to living on "Laos time" (a 2.5 hour bus ride actually takes 4 hours, ordering at a restaurant does not guarantee seeing your food in the subsequent 45 min), this is exactly the change we needed from the intense, hectic pace that we had been experiencing on our trip thus far.
We spent our first couple days in Vientiane (the capital) taking in the sights and hanging out sipping lattes at the amazing french-style cafes (or what I imagine a French cafe would be like). Things are just so easy here. When we went to the Thai consulate to get our visas for Thailand (which we had been slightly worried about) we were told that they are having a promotion and our 60 day visas would be ready the next day, free of charge!.

We then headed up to Vang Viang, the notorious backpackers paradise (supposedly) 2 hours north of the capital. 5 hours in a packed mini-van bumping around in torrential rain and holding our collective breaths on the country's only "paved" route, we arrived.

Vang Viang is a place that almost cannot be described. It is every twenty-something lost wanderers dream. The town is packed with bar/restaurants filled not with tables and chairs, but pillows and low tables so you are practically lying down while you lounge, watch seemingly endless reruns of Friends and eat the best pizza ever.
And then there is the tubing - Now, Hannah will probably give you a much more pragmatic and mature description of this most ridiculous of activities (due in large part to a case of Moonshine induced paranoia), but I thought it was just plain awesome. Take a hundred backpackers, the Mekong River, 7 bars, huge inflatable tubes, free shots of moonshine and the completely real and distinct possibility that this may be the last thing you do in this life before you pass out and drown - and you have one heck of a party. There are people who come for a couple days and end up staying a year (like one Canadian we met who was dressed up as Where's Waldo and had gone tubing 290 days in a row) but that is a bit too intense for us. Plus I don't think our bodies could handle any more of the bruises and scrapes we woke up with from bumping along rocks in the river. It really is the stupidest, most dangerous thing ever... but so much fun (if you're not a total idiot - which we clearly, are not).

The next day we hopped a string of buses and terrifying tuk-tuks (all of which managed to dump us at the side of the road to let us figure out our own connections - thanks guys) and travelled over 26 straight hours to finally arrive on Ko Samet, a glorious beach filled island in Thailand where we shall be taking up residence for the next two weeks!

Ben Update: In response to all of the inquiries - Ben did indeed make it home safely and is anxiously awaiting his next trip and our reunion in the UK!

See Ya Vietnam...OR "Photo You Buy!"

hannahandemma — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:26:00 GMT

In one of the easiest decisions we've ever made, we have decided to change our flight plans and head out to Laos a couple of days early. I don't mean to be too hard on poor Hanoi, but it just really isn't our scene. Ha Long Bay was pretty cool however we probably spent as much time examining the different types of travelers as we did the dramatic scenery. Backpackers are an interesting breed to say the least. A breed that we feel we are a part of, yet equally just as separate from. Is it necessary to barter that extra 5,000 dong? Perhaps? But...thats not our style. So we will do it our way. A motto we have picked up from this short, yet well needed stay in the 'Nam.

The highlights I think will have to be:

1. The water puppet show - sloppy, poorly staged but featuring a hilarious puppet of a pig-tailed man in a thong loincloth and aladdin vest. Other events during the show: having a Japanese man fall asleep on you, and a cute couple from America not realize that Emma does in fact speak English and make fun of her short legs (sorry dude, they really are quite little, but God, those guys did have some nerve talking about them in front of you!)
2. Hiking both up and down a mountain - I have never been so sweaty or proud of myself.
3. Drinking to the sweet sweet tunes of Jason Mraz with some chill guys from New Zealand on a "junk boat" in the middle of Ha Long Bay at night.
4. Observing the crusty bar tender on the boat get drunk by himself and sing karaoke by himself
5. Kayaking (and being freaking awesome at it... just saying) and trying to avoid being run over by tourist boats.
6. Being a stone in a stream of cyclos, cars and hagglers
7. Eating Celine Dion pho as opposed to Madonna pho?? ... still trying to understand what that tour guide was talking about
8. Learning to give the death stare to anyone trying to pester us to buy pineapples, books, lighters and everything under the sun (but not giving the death stare to the militia who will literally pull over and yell at you... don't ask)
9. Fisher price stools. EVERYWHERE. They're so quaint... until you have to sit there.
10. Exhibiting all the grace and elegance cultivated by years of figure skating training and falling in the middle of the street, no doubt catching all sorts of disease and infection... no big deal, a home amputation may be required? :S
11. Realizing that a sidewalk is just a term. Cyclos are allowed on there too. Oh and stores too. They can drive ANYWHERE.
12. Watching the Incredibles in a "three star" hotel on Cat Ba Island. Note that the three stars is a very generous evaluation. There were ants everywhereeeeeeeeeee.

Goodbye Vietnam... it's been an "experience".

You Think You Know But You Have No Idea... OR Getting Pinched By Old Ladies

hannahandemma — Wed, 7 Oct 2009 17:03:00 GMT

After a brief but fun 48 hour stop-over in S. Korea (where we went to a coffee shop and had our feet nibbled by fish - Weeds-style), we are finally in the 'Nam.

Despite all of Hannah's extensive research (the woman takes OCD to a whole new "As Good As It Gets"-type level) and my watching of Top Gear Specails, we had no idea what we were in for. The culture shock not only hit us, it went to town and knocked us out. There is no way to describe how crazy Hanoi is. Imagine a downtown metropolis squeezed together in half the space and with 3 times the people and stores. Cafes are little child sized plastic chairs on the sidewalk. There are motorcycles everywhere. I cannot even fathom driving in the mess that are the streets here. There are no rules that we can discern of and horns are continually honking to the point where you don't even notice it anymore. We literally just close our eyes and cross the street and hope to make it to the other side in one peice. I have already been almost hit (a high speed Moto driver smacked arms with me as he squeezed between 2 stalls, a car and 4 pedestrians in an alley about 4 feet wide). And people are always hasseling us, aggressively. When we said we didn't want any pinapple to an old lady who was selling on the street she literally cornered us and when we still refused she pinched Hannah on the arm. Actually. And to add to the shock, it's a breezy 75 degrees celcius here. Ok, perhaps a tad exaggeration but that's what it feels like.

So needless to say we were a little shell-shocked last night but after a couple beers and a mid-sized nervous breakdown, we are once again having an awesome time. The food here is wicked and everything is so cheap you almost feel guilty about it - when you're not giggling with delight that is. And the family that runs our guesthouse is awesome. We are going on a 3-day trip to Ha Long Bay tomorrow which we're really excited about. It'll be a nice change to get out the city and not have to worry about getting run over... or changing our money at gold shops.

Last Memories of Japan... OR How to Be Naked With Old Ladies... OR How to Spot a Cross-Dresser 101

hannahandemma — Thu, 1 Oct 2009 20:09:00 GMT

OK. So last time we left off, we had climbed down a mountain and encountered the wrath of Buddha. If you thought that Japan was done with us, you were wrong.

As everyone keeps telling me, onsens are part of the Japanese experience. You can't go to Japan without going to an onsen. A piece of tradition, they say. A way to appreciate culture. Or as I found out- how to see a lot of naked old ladies. I would also like to take the time to point out that the view of Japanese people being conservative is false. This country drinks at any time of the day, eats whatever they want, and gets naked regularly as I can attest to. For those of you who are unaware...onsens are Japanese public baths. To a westerner, this is weird. Everyone going to bathe together naked?? Whats the deal with that? The proceeding thought might be, "Who would ever do that?"....So clearly Emma and I went. Yes, together (and for those of you who understand the reference- No homo).

To be clear, there have been some really awkward moments before this where we thought we might have to shower together in public showers at hostels. This was avoided by using bathing suits. You arent allowed bikinis at an onsen. The old ladies yell at you. Apparently. We only have an Austrailian's opinion to go on..so you never know but we weren't willing to take the chance so yeah, we got naked at the onsen. The onsen itself had a ton of different kinds of baths including one with electricity flowing through the water. Completely safe though. Just a little shocking to see. Ha, shocking.　

Apart from the avoidance of eye contact and conversation at the onsen, given our immature giggling fits, it was a great time. Women and men are separate before you get any ideas. So you know, next time you want to take your friendship to the next level with your bestie - hit up the public bath. A word of warning- if you have a visible tattoo, then the average Japanese citizen may think you are part of a gang or the Yakuza. No big deal. It accounts for the staring and confused looks I suppose, but then again we got that in Canada when we are fully clothed so its just a normal day for us.

An update from yesterday: As we have seen most of the sights around Kobe, we decided to hit up Tokyo for the last time. Our initial plans were to have a Peter Parkinson Day, however these plans were thwarted and the search for the elusive Ted Watson will have to be continued in another trip Tokyo. Instead, we found a sumo wrestler to take a photo with- which was one of our major goals. Not the happiest chap, and we were a little scared to get too close in the photo but an accomplishment nonetheless.

From this place of honour, culture and tradition, we found ourselves at a maid cafe. Yes. A cafe with girls dressed as maids. But I am getting ahead of myself. Basically, we wanted to find the girls in Tokyo who dress really crazy and weird. The typical touristy thing. Emma's cousin located the area and the search began. We were beckoned into a cafe by a girl wearing a maid outfit and we thought, why not? Its just a cafe. Lets grab and drink, take a photo and leave.

The elevator opened at this cafe and we were welcomed with screams and singing from two girls wearing matching maid outfits, singing about being back in the dream world or dream land, or something. The name of the establishment: Maidreamin. I kid you not. It was like being in a six year old grl's room, only seedier and with accompanying bar and stage adorned in bright pink hearts. I guess the whole point is to make it feel like a dream ...but it was our nightmare. It was a hostess bar where guys pay for "maids" to play cards with them or make them drinks and call them Master. It was weird. But got weirder when our drinks arrived and we were informed that we must sing a song while holding our hands in the shape of a heart. My stomach ached from laughing. As the bar slash cafe slash borderline prostitution joint slash dream land filled up with people...or should I say men. With the exception of the French couple, who left in two minutes. Fun fact: if the French think somewhere is weird, then you should immediately find an escape route because things are probably going to get weirder. Which they did.

Enter the creepiest man in the world. He had it all. The leer, the lecherous look and the accompanying man purse. He was a regular. He knew all of the maids. Yes, we judge. Emma's cousin pointed at him and said promptly, "Weird guy", which turns out to be right on the money. As time wore on, things were getting more uncomfortable for us as a maid fleeced us for money to spend on playing games with them. We drank our sugary hot chocolate from our heart shaped cups. We felt dirty. I wanted to hug my mum. It was time to leave this place of "dreams" and female servitude. As we make the motions to leave, our favourite creepy patron has returned from a lengthy absence, fully dressed in the maid costume. Bow in his hair and began to serve customers.

We left in about 2 minutes. Explodng with laughter as the elevator doors closed and running out into the rainy streets of Tokyo filled with business men and Starbucks. Its weird to think that only a few floors above us and the financial salesmen of Japan was a pink fantasy dream world.

Oh, and we did get a photo with a maid. It cost us a bit more than five dollars and came from a camera that automatically prints photos. Think Joy Cam from 1999 style.Our endeavor cost us around fifty dollars. It was probably the best money I have ever spent.

Its been a great ride, Japan. Thanks for all the memories.

Goodbye Ben! (an addendum by Emma):

Byeee old friend! I will miss your smiling face and pink onesie! See you in the UK! <3

Buddha's Revenge... OR I Wish I Was Cute (but not really)

hannahandemma — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 10:05:00 GMT

the people in japan are annoyingly cute.

actually. as card-carrying, bitter north american cynics Hannah and I have been having a jolly old time scoffing at cars that look like gum drops, women wearing pigtails into ther forties, the animation of literally everything (an ad for an OBGYN featured a cartoon family of dogs? the exhibit on how beer is produced at the beer museum would have you beleive that magical elves play a large role in the process?) not to mention the sensory overload of cutsy that is japanese television. and everyone's shoes are about a size and a half too big.

But Buddha does not approve of eye-rolling and the other day, he got his revenge. we went to Mt. Shosha where we rode up to the top of a mountain on a cable car to see a bunch of temples that were tucked away in the forests. Everything was super until Hannah says "hey I think this is the way to the next temple" and we head down a (in retrospect kind of deserted and suspiciously overgrown) path. Neither Hannah nor I can read Japanese so despite a smattering of signs along the way (many of which alarmingly had cartoon pictures of snakes on them) we could not figure out where we were and ended up HIKING DOWN THE ENTIRE MOUNTAIN. literally. in sandals. and it doesn't stop there. in our descent we managed to end up on the other side of the mountain than the ropeway and/or bus route. luckily we stumbled upon the cutest elderly couple working on their cute garden and they ended up drivng us all the way to the station in their tiny adorable car and basically saved our lives. Meanwhile Buddha was, I'm sure, laughing away at having taught the judgemental gaijin a lesson in humility.

And it's true, even though there is not a single normal sized glass in the country (2 sips and you need a refil) and there is an irritatingly adorable theme song for the start and finish of ANYTHING (train arrivals, rice cookers, every half-hour on any clock) and we will probably still be laughing at all the cutesy stuff they come up wit, the people here have been the most helpfull, kind, polite and awesome hosts a traveller could ever ask for.

but seriously though, why can't they just buy shoes that fit?

Blog Tease... OR Remember That Time We Didn't Go To China?

hannahandemma — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 00:26:00 GMT

Hey Friends!

We have so so so many stories and I promise they are on their way, but this is just a quickie update:

After a lot of deliberation and despite fighting with processors at the embassy... our dream of singing the soundtrack to Mulan atop the Great Wall will have to wait for another time. We are no longer going to China and are heading straight from S. Korea (we're skipping the North, Kim Jong Il and I have had a falling out... he's a tad tempermental that one)to the 'Nam. We hadn't realized that the time we were intending to go was during one of the LARGEST NATIONAL HOLIDAYS. Can you even imagine how busy Beijing would have been?! So we're skipping the stress and heading straight for the beach... or the bay as it were (Ha Long to be exact).

More to follow in the next couple days so stay tuned :)

To grandmother's house we go... OR Dining with mobsters

hannahandemma — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:55:00 GMT

It all started innocently enough with a trip to Hiroshima to visit my grandmother (the tiniest and cutest little 89yr old woman ever - hence forth referred to as Obaachan). After some fam jam visiting, my Obaachan's next door neighbour (a stately looking 65 yr old man) invited Hannah, myself and my cousin (Hiromi) for dinner [note: neither my father, nor his wife was invited... warning flag?]

My Obaachan's neighbour's friend came to join us at the restaurant and even at first glance we could tell that we were in for an interesting night. This guy looked like an Asian Tony Soprano (hence forth referred to as Soprano-san), was wearng a jacket that resembled a bin-liner and proceeded to order everthing on the menu, hit on my cousin, and order round upon round of drinks for us all and pay for all of our meals. Despite his huge and rather intimidating appearance, Soprano-san seemed pretty harmless and kind of a baller (although he did awkwardly interrogate me about the difference between Canadian and Japanese toilets? - warning flag #2)

After dinner it was decided that we should all go to karaoke place for a "snack" (warning flag #3). On our way, my limited Japanese was able to decipher that Soprano-san is actually a YAKUZA BOSS (the Yakuza are the Japanese mafia).... UMMM.... WHAT?!?!?! (warning flags #4-12876923)

The Karaoke bar actually turns out to be a tiny mobster-run hostess bar filled with the asian version of the entire cast of Goodfellas. There we were treated like royalty, drank nothing but the best, and were waited on hand a foot by a line-up of models/wenches. Mid-way through this hilarity Soprano-san took a short break from drunkenly ogling Hannah's ta-tas and my legs to take a phone call which was immediately followed by the arrival of a man who got on his knees and bowed in front of him, received a black leather purse (even the mafia here has bad style) and then exited the building?? The singing (Soprano-san had the voice of an angel??), drinking and hilarity continued for what must have been hours until we all stumbled into cabs and went home.

Seriously... I cannot even make this stuff up.

Absolutely ridiculous... we would put up the picture for fear of turning up at the bottom of a river somewhere outside Tokyo!

The Trials and Tribulations of Fashion

hannahandemma — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 14:58:00 GMT

Its the time you have all been lookng forward to- a note from Hannah. We arrived safe and sound in Kobe to spend some time with Emmas family. Heading out for some day trips in Kyoto, Hiroshime and Nara which should be awesome as there are sooo many things to see. Including the place where The Last Samurai movie with Tom Cruise was filmed- yes, you are soo jealous of us, I know.

Yes folks, its time to do laundry. Clearly the Japanese have managed to have the coolest and most advanced laundromats around. We have successfully cleaned our clothes and are much happier about everything (except maybe our backpacks who have now been named Ruby and Lucifer). Our night out in Tokyo did us no favours as the smell of cigarettes, beer, smoke machines has been trapped in our bags as we crossed the country. A note about travelling for extended periods- when it comes to looking good- forget it. Even in Japan- the fashionista capital, our attempts to look cool can be classfied as an epic fail. Emma broke out an outfit that would be fit for a back up dancer in a bad 90s pop video a couple days ago. But as time wears on, you really just stop caring.

And apparently people don't show their shoulders in Japan- even in 30 degree weather, so my tank top could have been a mistake to wear, but to be fair, I couldnt figure out if they were staring at my shoulders or because I was the only white person on the subway.

So we don't look good or even remotely cool, but when did we ever?

I smell like lamb OR Drinking in Japan

hannahandemma — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:51:00 GMT

Today we went to the Sapporro Beer Factory/Museum/Biergarten and I feel like it's a great segue into the topic of drinking in Japan.

For those of you with the misconception that Japan is full of conservative tee-totalers, you are highly mistaken. The ppl here could even give Hannah and I a run for our money. It's no big deal to order a beer with breakfast at 8:30am at the train station (my dad, not me I swear!), the bars are open until 4:30am (a poor choice when stumbling home at 6am when you have to check out of your hotel at 10am) and the Beer Factory has an all-you-can-eat/drink for 100min lamb/beer special which makes for a wonderful late morning lunch haha.

The downside: you kind of smell weird after all of these experiences. They let you smoke EVERYWHERE (even McDonalds - sacrilege I know) so after 5 days and 100 shampoos my hair still smells of smoke. and there is no more pungent odor than that of beer and lamb lingering on your skin/clothes/hair... EVERYTHING SMELLS LIKE LAMB!!

well that's it for now... stay tuned for the hilarious story of how we almost had to shower together and the never-ending quest for "western" washrooms.

PS thanks for all the comments! :)