Seems like I'm on a bit of a writing streak. Which is a nice change from being hungover. Before I left I did all my research about South America, travelling alone, the dangers and annoyances etc. Now I've been doing it for a few weeks I think I'm getting the hang of it. Here's a few tips if you're considering coming over this side of the world.
1. People are stupid. Seems some people think the world is flat. When I tell them I'm from New Zealand I get you're so far way from home. I'm like, you're from Germany you idiot it's snowing where you're from. I've given up explaining this to everyone. People are so stupid sometimes.
2. If you see a dead body on the side of the road act cool. This kind of thing happens often around here. I've only seen it once and the body was in a bag. But the tour guide just carried on as if a bird had just flown by.
3. Kiss people when you say hello and goodbye. Once in Argentina and twice in Brazil. It's their culture. You're not gonna look like a slut if you kiss them on the cheek. No shit. I've had strangers kiss me out of the blue. Not that often. But I did freak out when it happened the first time. If they kiss you three times, chances are this sly dog's going in for a feel.
4. Stay away from Caipirias. Sweet traditional cocktails. So much sugar and you'll become addicted. Speaking of sweet. Yesterday I had ordered a hot chocolate and got a cup of hot chocolate. Quite literally was a chocolate bar melted in a cup. Moment on the lips and lifetime on the hips. I'll never forget that saying, thanks Bren. So I didn't drink the whole thing.
5. If you can make friends with anyone that can speak Spanish or Portuguese your life will be ten times easier. No more pointing at a menu guessing what I'm gonna have for dinner.
6. Brazil is expensive. Compared to everywhere else, anyway, and the prices triple during Carnival. The sooner you cook for yourself the better.
7. Don't get off the bus unless everyone else is. And go to the toilet first, then eat. If you do it the other way around you're just asking to be left behind. I've heard two stories in four days.
8. If you're a size 14 or above forget about buying bikinis here. I can here you saying 'eww' I wouldnt anyway. But here, everyone's in tiny togs including the men. In no time you'll be walking around in your two piece feeling right at home. Also ask someone else to apply sunblock to your back. Otherwise you're in trouble of a crazy tan mark that everyone comments on.
9. Cash machines can be hard to find. Some restaurants don't accept credit cards. Funny thing is, some tiny portable stores on the beach do. But don't get stuck with no cash. Unless you've got a mate that will pay for your bus ride to the closest ATM. Thanks Kath.
