Reason 1 - Immigration.
As I arrived in JFK Airport, New York early hours of the morning, I was the only traveller from the Lima, Peru flight to take the non-resident side of immigration control.
The gentleman, who called me to his desk with a simple head movement, looked me up and down with disdain. I gave him the immigration slip given to me on the flight and tried to stay calm. He looked at my passport intently and asked me where my visa was? He then told me sternly to go away and complete the correct visa waiver form and only come back when it's done!
On the four rows of tables I searched for the correct green coloured form but found only two which were in Spanish!
I asked a lady officer if it was the correct slip and she told me yes. I explained to her I could not complete it as it was not in English! She just looked at me like I was an idiot and told me to ‘go back and get one in English then’, and stormed off!
I approached immigration again with my non English form and informed the officer all the slips had gone. He handed me a new form (in English) from a pile he had and told me to come back when it was completed!
I thought hold on a minute, why didn't he just give me a form to complete in the first instance? Was I not worthy enough to assist? Was it too much effort for him to pick one from his huge pile and give it to me?
After the 3rd time of going back to immigration, I then had the full interrogation: 'Why was I visiting the States?' 'How long am I in the States for?' 'Where have I travelled from?' 'Do I have accommodation?' 'What was my purpose in the States?' 'When am I returning home?' 'Am I travelling alone?' 'Where am I travelling to after NY?' 'What do I do for a living?' He was taking the piss!!
When the officer asked me 'What nationality are you?' I thought, you have my passport in your hand, you twat!
I was asked the same questions by four different officers over and over before they allowed me to leave the airport. In total I was at Immigration for an hour.
The overall attitude towards me was like I was a criminal. It was like they were doing me a generous favour by allowing me to visit their country.
It was not a warm American welcome and I already began to resent my decission to visit the States. I would be spending lots of money and contributing towards their economy yet they are treating me like a criminal!
I explained four times I was on a world trip, that was easy to see from my passport. I am a British citizen. I have come to head to New England for the Fall.
Then it hit me! These boys are a little bored! Perhaps they had no action in the airport tonight? They were looking for some drama to spice up their uneventful day at work! They were looking for a problem.
Do Americans believe everyone wants to stay in their country? Do they think I would not want to leave a country high in crime, homelessness, mental health and obesity?
A country where only 1 in 5 Americans hold a passport? A country where Americans still stand devided by race, religion and colour? A country run by a cowboy called Bush??
I am very happy to visit the States on holiday but I am more than happy to return home.
Reason 2 - Speaking a foreign language!
When visiting a foreign country I suspected there would be language difficulties.
In Singapore I relied on pictures and pointing to be understood, in Argentina I spoke in Italian 80% of the time and in Brazil I used lots and lots of hand gestures! but America, surely I would have no worries there? WRONG!!!
It would seem the only hand gestures the Americans understand is the middle finger!
Why is it lots of Americans do not understand me when I speak to them? I can understand them despite how heavy their accent! So what exactly am I doing wrong? Or saying wrongly?
Simple requests are turned into a big ordeal and rather embarrassing situations for me, no matter how slowly and accurately I speak they look at me like I am an alien!
Words becomes frustrating, like Oatmeal, yoghurt, water and tuna or toona, it makes no difference how many times I change the pronunciation, there is a block in communication. They obviously do not understand the mother language!
The strange thing is lots of foreign people who live in America do understand me and I can have a proper conversation. Perhaps that's because they learnt proper English!
Reason 3 – Food Culture
Apart from the ethnic areas, communities inside the States, I have found eating meals in the US a difficulty.
I wouldn't consider myself a food snob or a fussy eater. I am from a family who love to eat and it's fair to say it is one of our great enjoyments in life. But not just any food!!
I am sick to death of eating humongous hamburgers and hotdogs which repeat on me for the rest of the day! I am sick of blue cheese dip on salads, what ever happened to simple olive oil and lemon??
I am absolutely sick of clam chowder, nothing but sickly, creamy, gloopy clam chowder in New England! I am sickened by greasy, excessively cheesy, soggy Nachos which appear on every menu!
Yes I am sick of cream in watery coffee and yes I am sick of seeing Dunkin Donuts everywhere!!
There isn't much variation in the States, just lots of hamburgers, pizzas, Caesar or cobb salad and lots and lots of cheese over everything!
I like Cinnamon, but cinnamon is used here like salt is used as a seasoning! Cinnamon cookies, cinnamon bread, cinnamon muffins, cinnamon over coffee, cinnamon over pizza, yes I like cinnamon but please!
Let’s talk size! Everything is massive. Take a tip from me and never ask for a large portion of anything. A small is a large and a large is a ....a mountain!
Why does every meal have to be HUGE enough to feed me, my brother, my sister and our five thousand cousins?!!
When I ordered a Brownie as a desert in New Hampshire I was expecting a slice of brownie, am I stupid or what?
What I got was a huuuuuge 4 piece brownie collection, drenched in chocolate sauce, covered in whipped cream and with lashings and lashings of hundreds and thousands.
Let’s just say, it was a little excessive!! The lady's eyes next to me nearly popped out of her head as she saw it, she smiled and licked her lips in desire.
I on the other hand thought 'what the hell do they think I am? A human vacuum?'
All that was missing was a Maraschino cherry!
Reason 4 - whiny voices
Answer me this? When in a group of mixed nationalities which voice can be heard first?
Who speaks the loudest? Who sounds like they are whinging? Well it isn't the Thai's now is it?
Yes the Americans! The ever so confident and 'I want everyone to hear what I'm saying' Americans!
Be honest with me, do you find it annoying as hell, like I do?
Why do lots of Americans think people want to hear their conversations? or their voices for that matter! Why can't Americans be reserved or discreet?
I tend to think they are vying for attention, they all believe they are in a Hollywood blockbuster and they want to be spotted by Steven Spielberg and star in his next big movie spectacular. Or were the first English and European settlers all loud mouthed yobbos?
Was that one of the significant reasons why they decided to leave good old Blighty, they just couldn't go on living a lie! It was far too quiet and sophisticated for them!
Perhaps God created the Americans with not just a huge appetite for food but whopping big mouths as well! Whine, whine, whine, that's what it sounds like when they speak. Whinge, whinge, whinge, it is driving me insane! I feel like telling them all to shut up and put a sock in it, but I fear the sock wouldn't be big enough!
Reason 5 - Americanisation of the world
What is one of the first things you see when you enter a foreign city? Starbucks? Burger King? Perhaps it is Mc Donald's?
Why would we choose to have a mug of coffee in Starbucks instead of drinking proper coffee in a privately owned cafe?
Why do we put small private establishments out of business by choosing the huge American chain Starbucks? Do we think Starbucks gives us the best tasting Cappuccino?
Or are we all sheep? We don't care where we drink coffee we just want a cup of coffee.
We don't even think about where we should go! Starbucks is there, so we go! Our choice is taken away from us. Our minds have been made up for us! And like the sheep we are, we follow! We think 'it is American so it must be good!'
So why do our governments allow more and more of these huge American conglomerates to set up another store in our high street?
Why do we have on every high street a Mc Donald's or/and a Burger King? Do we as non Americans really want this?
What ever happened to the traditional Pie & Mash shops in London and the Fish & Chip shops all over Britain? They have all been replaced by an American fast food chains.
England is known all over the world for fish and chips, it is supposed to be our national dish but there is more chance of buying a Big Mac than there is a piece of cod.
I feel American ideology is being pushed on the rest of the world and we are slowly becoming more and more American. We even watch their trashy tv and we are emulating their culture and even their slang.
My concern is that we as Britain or as Europe or other parts of the world are losing our own great identities, flaws and all and we are becoming a mini America.
We should promote our own heritage, history, food, media, traditions, our own identity as a nation.
Wouldn't it be such a sad thing if everyone in the world was the same. If every country in the world was the same? Wouldn't the world be a boring place?
So lets stop bowing down to the Americans. Lets stop copying them and start to be proud of our own nationality.
Why can't Britain as a nation grow a pair of balls like the French and be British again
