It was Friday the 13th and another bitterly cold day in Springfield, New Zealand. With thick fluffy white snow covering the mountain tops and slippery icy roads, Jonny and I despite being considered crazy by the locals decided it was a perfect day to go skiing!
After an early wakeup call and a hot heavy breakfast, we got the tyre chains ready, in case the car started sliding and set off for the 30mins drive up the mountain of Porter's Heights.
The drive up the mountain was very steep and narrow and the roads were incredibly slippery, in fact the locals were right in saying there wasn't anything to stop the car skidding over the edge and us falling to our deaths.
We were advised many times not to personally drive in these bad weather conditions due to how dangerous it would be however Jonny and I only saw this as being part of one big crazy adventure.
Not looking down or over the cliffs edge we were determined to reach the top, so after a very slow and scary drive we made it!
At the top we hired the heavy ski boots and skiis and I must say we did look quite cool in our newly bought ski jackets and our Prada and Chanel sunglasses, in fact dare I say we looked like a couple of professional skiers, however the harsh reality of it was, it was more a case of 'all the gear but no idea'
Well maybe not so, I had gone skiing a few years ago but this was on a dry indoor slope and no matter how hard I try to forget I distinctly remember ploughing into a line of beginners and knocking them all down, one by one they fell like a line of skittles in a bowling match (strike!)
I also fell in a horrible and distorted way and remember hurting every part of my body.
Unfortunately I was like Bambi on ice! I vowed never to ski again......
....Yet here I am booking myself onto another beginner’s class, what was I thinking?
This time however it would be different. I was more determined than ever to master the sport and not look like a damned fool! Loads of people can do it, I thought, if kids can do it, then so can I!
Our instructor Jez, gave us the Ski brief and showed us the basic moves, most important of all, how to stop. And off we went.
When we got going I was unstoppable, a little nervous at first but once I skied my first slope without any injuries I started having a ball of a time.
Skiing when you know how is so much fun, every time I skied down a slope I felt my face light up, grinning like a Cheshire cat, I loved it! and no falls wehey!
I kept going back again and again, up and down the slopes, over and over. I remember looking over at Jonny who is always the best in everything he does, his eyebrows were raised in astonishment at my prowess, he also looked a little relieved that I wasn't going to embarrass him by hurling myself into a group of people!
We both felt good and decided to take a well earned break.
Whilst sipping a glass of Pinot Noir at lunch I was itching to get back on the slope, however perhaps the Pinot wasn't such a good idea and maybe the confidence grew too quickly?
Whilst at the top of the slope someone accidentally knocked into me, I had my back to the slope, and yes you guessed it unable to stop myself I ended up going down the slope.... backwards!! Well Jez didn't teach us how to stop in reverse!!
With my arse in the air and my hands fumbling down the slope trying to stop myself, I had visions of 'Some Mothers Do Ave Em' and how I always end up having a 'Frank Spencer moment'
Skiing all the way down the slope in this backwards position it took me a further 15 mins to try and climb back up the mountain. When I finally reached the top, sweating, there I went again! down the slope....backwards...again!
Jez called it the backwards Pizza position, however all I heard from Jez was 'Pizza'!
"Pizza?" I retorted out of breath, "Oh yes pleeaaase".
