Our home for the next two weeks is a 'Wicked' Camper van. All Wicked vans have a theme, Scooby Doo, Xmen, The Simpsons, the list is endless.
When Jonny and I went to pick our ‘Wicked’ camper van up from the Brisbane depot I was secretly hoping for the Pink Panther van, it’s pink with the panther on both sides, It might sound a bit naff but once you get into the ‘Wicked’ way of life, it’s kinda cool!
What we ended up with was 'The Deathmobile’ . The Deathmobile is a black gothic van with a huge skull on one side, bats and splattered blood on the other!!! Our slogan at the back of the van says 'I taste so good you'll want the recipe'
Not exactly what I had in mind to be driving the length of Australia in but hey when in Rome!
In the boot of the van are a couple of drawers to store food, utensils, pans and a portable gas burner to cook on. In the middle of the van is a table which can be stored away at night and doubles up as a bed. The front of the van is of course the driving area and that's it!!! That’s our home for the next two weeks.
Every night we have a ritual of moving our suitcases to the front two seats, push the seats forward, pull down the mattress which is as thin as a sheet of paper and bed covers, jump in, get changed, turn the light off and then pray for the best!
There's stickers all over the van, like' Don't fucking swerve for kangaroos or you will roll! And 'Who will survive this drive? The roo, the emu or you?' These are just the light hearted ones!
There is one major high way in Oz and its called The Bruce. Old Brucie has road signs such as: ‘survive this drive', 'rest or RIP'. Let’s just say driving in Australia can be a little depressing at times!
There is definitely a dark side to Oz, let’s face it God must have been pretty pissed off when he created the creatures here, the funnel web spider, black widow, red back, golden orb spider, the huntsman, great white shark, python, death adder, bulldog ant, box jellyfish, crocodiles, scorpions, all the deadliest creatures you can think of!
Come to think of it Australia also has the weirdest looking creatures like the kangaroo, wallaby, cassowary, I mean what was God thinking that day? If you put all these animals together in one place, you have one scary environment.
On the positive side of the flip coin, I have seen the most beautiful tropical birds and butterflies here. The Lorikeets are like Flying Rainbows, I’ve never seen so many colourful birds before.
Every day I hope I won’t have to go to the toilet during the middle of the night.
The sun has been going in at around 5pm and by 7pm it is really dark, so you can imagine how dark it is at around 9pm.
I have been quite scared, the sounds and shuffling from outside the ‘Deathmobile’ mixed with the knowledge that there are all kinds of deadly creatures out there frightens the life out of me.
I do hope I can make it to Cairns. The sticker above my head constantly reminds me to ‘Revive and Survive this drive!’
