I know, I didn't write for too long. But things for me started to feel like routine, so I couldn't think of something to write about.
Eh, eu sei, nao escrevo a um tempao. Mas as coisas entraram numa rotina para mim e nao consegui pensar em nada para escrever.
Today, though I went to see what was about Wellington Armegeddon and I ended up finding something about my life and me. This event is all about comic books, mangas, scifi and fantasy and fans. Everything that should attract a nerd like me, so I picked up my camera and there I went on this cloudy Good Friday. I got a 2 dollars discount thanks to my Student ID and I entered direct into the mouth of the merchandise paradise thanks to my paper green bracelet. Lots of tables selling almost anything a fan could dream of. One of the werewolves from Twilight posing for photos, a screen showing one of the Twilight movies and a few costumes here and there. It said that was forbidden to take photos inside and I was too chicken to even try for some crowd images. I decide that I would do better sitting outside and trying to get photos of people getting in.
Mas hoje decidir ir ver qual era a da exposicao Wellington Armageddon e acabei descobrindo algo sobre minha vida e eu. Esse evento eh sobre quadrinhos, manga, fantasia e ficcao cientifica e fas. Tudo para atrair uma nerd como eu, entao peguei a maquina fotografica e la fui eu nessa Sexta-Feira Santa nublada. Tive um desconto de 2 dollares gracas a carteira de estudante e entrei, gracas ao bracelete verde de papel, direto na centro do paraiso do merchandise. Varias mesas vendendo praticamente tudo que um fa poderia imaginar. Um dos atores de Twilight estava la tirando fotos com fas e o filme estava sendo exibido em um telao no canto. Tinha algumas pessoas fantasiadas mas tinha um aviso proibindo fotos dentro do evento e eu sou muito covarde pra seguer tentar. Decidi que minhas chances estavam em fotografar o pessoal antes que entrassem.
Maybe I went on the wrong day, maybe I went too early in the day, but all got was four uninspiring photos and an overall feeling that I don't even fit in the nerd world. Am I too old for this? Actually my conclusion was different: I was alone, that's the problem.
Talvez eu tenha ido no dia errado, ou talvez cedo demais, mas so consegui 4 fotinhos sem graca e uma sensacao geral de que nao me encaixo nem mesmo no mundo nerd. Estou muito velha para isso? Na verdade a conclusao que cheguei foi diferente: o problema eh que eu estava sozinha.
Usually I deal really well with being on my own, by myself, alone, however you want to describe it. But there are moments that nothing makes sense unless you're with friends. It's even more sad when people alone can't approach others also solitaire and try to create a group or a new friendship. Our shyness can be crippling like that. Because I did see others alone there but when you try to make eye contact to stablish some connection, they turn theirs faces and pretend not to see you. Because nobody wants to admit that they are so lonely that they would talk to a perfect stranger.
Normalmente lido muito bem em estar sozinha, mas ha momentos em que nada faz sentindo a nao ser que esteja com amigos. Eh ainda mais triste quando pessoas sozinhas nao conseguem se aproximar de outros solitarios para tentar formar uma nova amizade. Nossa timidez pode ser paralizante assim. Porque eu vi outras pessoas sozinhas mas quando tentava estabeler contato visual ou criar uma conexao, eles viravam o rosto, fingindo que nao te viam. Porque ninguem quer admitir que estah tao sozinho que ate falariam com um estranho.
The truth about solitude is that doesn't matter how well you deal with, how much you try to change it, or even if you like it, because the world and the society will keep on creating situations to show how wrong and inadequate it's to be alone in a crowd. And that just makes it even harder to do something to change the situation. But also thanks to technology and all the wonderful inventions of the last century or so, I can still be a happy nerd staying at home with my computer, broadband internet, some dvds and a tv.
A verdade sobre solidao eh que nao importa o quao bem vc lida com ela, ou o quanto vc tenta mudar a situacao, ou mesmo se vc gosta de estar sozinho, porque o mundo e a sociedade vao continuar criando situacoes para mostrar o quao errado e inadequado eh estar sozinha em meio a multidao. E isso so torna ainda mais dificil fazer algo para mudar. Mas gracas a tecnologia e as invencoes do ultimo seculo, eu ainda posso ser uma nerd feliz ficando em casa com meu computador, minha internet banda larga, alguns dvds e uma tv.
