November 4, 2010
So here in a couple of hours I will be 21. Basically in 1 hour I will be 21. This is a big birthday in our society. I think mainly from being legal to drink. How worthless is that about our society. And if I am wrong about the reason turning 21 is a big deal, then please enlighten me. Here I am in culture shock, really, and am back and forth of being super excited about my birthday and then not even sweating it. I did have this pleasant thought of feeling pretty self sufficient and satisfied with where I am in life. I mean I am in France right now. The night before my birthday consisted of finally sitting on the couch drinking wine and watching Dutch channels! High light of my night is listening to the radio while typing this up by the soft lamp light. Tomorrow I simply hope to relax by taking a walk, reading, journaling, and I would love to take a picnic with the horses! I hope it doesn’t rain. This year I want to feel content and at ease all year. I want to live the lifestyle that I am in now. I say that because everything I experience here is how it should be in life. I’m feeling not sooo horrible about my birthday anymore, I will go to sleep before 12. Some might find that lame, but I am beyond blessed everyday to just celebrate another year, why not just treat it like another day but with greater gratitude. As I should everyday. Maybe that will be my birthday resolution. I usually always have one. Most the time I think “maybe I’ll grow boobs this year.” Good news that I now thought of, I might have finally completed one. The one to stop smoking by such and such age. Today was my sweet lulu heads birthday. She turned 10 today. Lucy will live forever. I hope. I think all the other animals felt the sadness in my heart for missing Lucy. They literally wouldn’t leave me alone today. Damn cats sitting on my chest, and Sasha following me around and laying with me also. It was real sweet. I did send mom an email telling her about me and Lucy’s tradition for her birthday. Hopefully she did it. Alright now I am getting upset, so I must go to bed. Goodnight. Tomorrow I awake older and unfortunately not skinnier but maybe with a little more understanding soul of this universe.
