I did a class on superheroes where I got the kids to draw their own superhero and then write a story about them. I then took them in at the end of class, they are truly hilarious so here are some of them! Photos of some of them are in the gallery, SUPERHEROES.
'It's an egg called "an egg." It's a month old. It had a life a really life, a important life for it. But now it hasn't it. It lived under it's mother a month ago, but now it lives in the stomach(e) of a man. It had a dream once, but now it's dream has been broken before it borns. It can say nothing, do nothing, think nothing, ago, now and in the future. There is just a dream in it's mind. A dream which can be never finished. No one can remeber the egg, even it's dream. It just wanted to be out when it's alive!'
I then asked them questions about their superhero: 1. What is their name? 2. How old are they? 3. What are their superpowers? 4. Where do they live? 5. Who do they live with? 6. Are they good or evil?
'1. He has no name! (But you could call him "stupid") 2. He has no age! 3. He could think he is a superman anywhere...It's his only superpower... 4. He could live anywhere...Because he is happy to be. 5. You could say, a cat calls him "stupid." 6. If you think you are a Superman you will become what you think you are...a superman!'
'His name is outman. He is 2x10^4 years old. He can carry very heavy things like a building. He lives alone. He is good. One day, he become crazy, because he suffer from cold. That's too bad. Then he attack us, so many people attack back to him, too. Then I make him be good person. He thanked me a lot.'
'My superhero is Harry Potter. In Harry Potter he is in his twenties. His superpowers are his braveness. He lives in a magic world, and he studied in Hogwarts. He lives with Royan's [???] little sister, and his sons and daughters. He's a good man. One day, I met Harry in Hogwarts. I knew I should support him, because he could solve the whole magic world. I tried to greet Harry every time. Gradually, we became friends. We smiled, finding the sun rising again.'
My personal favourites:
'His name is super pumpkin. He is ten years old. He has a broomstick that can take him everywhere. He lives with other pumpkin. He lives in the mountain. He is good. He helped me clean the room quickly, and he makes the world clean. He is very cute but naughty.'
'When he meet bad man, he will make some gas to let the bad man down. His name is Super DaDa. He lives in W.C. He can make trees grow quickly. He lives with other DaDa.'
This one is just scary:
'My superhero is Mao Zedong. But he was dead. He lived in China, maybe he lived with his wife. My superhero is him because he founded PRC. He was a good man but he used some wrong ways to let people have a difficult life,[no shit!] but all of all, he was a really good man, and he will be my superhero forever. I wont forget him.'
As is this one:
'His name is Adolf Hitler. He was 56 years old. He was lived in Berlin. He is good. [wtf?!!] He can control all the world. He is a little ugly, so I can't draw him. And he was died.'
(They are totally deluded when it comes to political views. China seems like such a modern and western country in so many ways that you don't realise that the government actually has a really strong grip on what they're told. You can buy magazines and newspapers such as The Economist and The Gurdian in Beijing and Shanghai, and the bbc website isn't blocked for some reason, but the problem is mainly that they actually don't want to hear anything other than what they're told by the government. They believe that its the western media thats wrong. Katherine did a lesson where the kids had to design their own country, and one of the questions about the country was 'will there be a death penalty?' Almost everyone said that there would, and the one's who didn't hadn't understood what the death penalty was; as soon as they did they changed it immediately. We then actually told one of the students about some of our taboo opinions, such as we don't think there should be a death penalty and then brought up the Xinjiang riots. It was over text and the reply was, 'Xinjiang... Two leaders of the groups as tools of western world. They are just against us. And we caught some of them that actually did that and killed them all according to our law.' When we then told him that we didn't think they were told the whole story, he replied with 'God knows if your media had you people fooled.' It's incredibly infuriating, there's just no arguing with them! And as you can see, they still idolize Mao and Hitler. It's not really their fault though, it's just because of all the bullshit the government spews out and lack of freedom of press and so on. All the Chinese newspapers that are in English and all the English tv channels are all packed full with propaganda.)
I'm just putting this one up for the note written at the end:
'His name is OPTIMUS PRIME. I don't know how old is he. He has the strongest power. He is a superhero. He always helps the people around him. He lives in America. Actually, he is a car. He is so good and great. Arendsa, I like you very much. You are a good teacher. You're so lovely and kind. I hope you can know. We all like you. Our favourite teacher is you!'
Yay! I love teaching!
School starts at 7:20 in the morning and lunch break is from 11:45 - 13:40. School finishes at 17:15, and then some classes have evening classes from 18:40 - 21:20. This is every day of the week except Sunday, and sometimes they have tests and exams on Sunday mornings. What the hell was I ever complaining about?!! I dont exactly know how much homework they get but I'm guessing its a lot seeing as whenever we ask the students what they do in their free time the standard answer seems to be 'we have no free time.' It makes you feel quite guilty when they text you and ask 'What are you doing now?' and all you can say is 'Umm, marking! Learning Chinese!' When you're actually watching Grey's Anatomy. However, because you gradually come to think of them as study machines it actually comes as a relief when they come out with boob jokes and create the superhero 'Sex woman,' (which I then shamelessly had to correct to 'sexy woman' two or three times). It reminds you that they're actually teenagers like anywhere else on earth. Unfortunately I wasn't there to witness this but it sounds absolutely hilarious: Katherine said that when she was walking past the basketball courts a group of students started shouting 'Beautiful teacher! Beautiful teacher! Make love to me! Make love to me! L-O-V-E, L-O-V-E!' We don't think they knew what they were actually saying which just makes it so much more funny. They all think you're incredibly beautiful and kind and generous and lovely; it's not really something to be particularly flattered about, it's just because you're foreign, but I'm still almost positive I'll come home with a head the size of a basketball. People with self-esteem issues should come to China!
