I had one whole day in Delhi to figure out what to do with. I didn’t intend Delhi to be much more than a travel hub, so I didn’t do a heck of a lot of research on it. Trying to tackle it was not recommended, and I wasn’t tempted to. But, it did have one big sight that was a must-see: The Red Fort.
So I thought, ok I’ll hopefully be able to walk over to the Red Fort, spend a good chunk of time there, then come back for dinner. I asked the hotel desk about walking there and they said that even though it was only a 25 minute walk, that I couldn’t do it. Why? Because I didn’t know the way. In fact, they seemed to think that the whole idea of walking was preposterous. I figured they probably knew what they were talking about, so I asked how much I should pay a tuk tuk to take me there. They said 100 rupees (about $1.50).
So I went out and immediately a tuk tuk driver was in front of my face asking where I was going. I said The Red Fort and got in. I said, is 100 rupees ok? He unhesitatingly said yes. I thought, great, that was easy, we’re off to a good start!
We went for a block or two and then he pulled over and asked if I had a ticket already to the Red Fort. I said no. He said in that case he’d have to take me to the Government Travel Agency first. But why can’t I just buy my ticket at the Red Fort, I asked?? He said to trust him, it was better this way, the lines were super long at the Red Fort and I should really go to the agency first for the ticket. He seemed trustworthy, so I said “ok". That was my first mistake.
So we roll up to the “Government Travel Agency”, an unofficial-looking storefront on a busy street. The driver told me to go inside and he’d wait for me. So I went in and a guy wearing a black sweatshirt with gold brocade on the arms greeted me. I immediately sensed a scheister.
I said I needed a ticket to the Red Fort. He said he could help me with that, but then started asking me questions to size me up such as, first time in India? how long are you staying? what hotel are you staying at? where are you from? what do you do? Then, under the guise of being helpful, he started giving "advice" to plan out my whole stay in India (trains, planes, taxis, hotels, etc). I told him several times that I wasn’t going to buy anything and I just wanted the damn Red Fort ticket, but I got the feeling that he didn’t actually have that.
What he DID have, was a tour of Delhi in a private “government” taxi which would take me around to all of the important sights for 1000 rp ($15). I told him that I already had deal a with a tuk tuk who was waiting outside and I wasn’t going to buy his stupid tour.
Then Mr. Gold-Sleeves said that the tuk tuk couldn’t actually take me to the Red Fort because you needed a special permit and tuk tuks weren’t allowed. Then I got confused. Clearly there was some elaborate scam going on that I couldn’t quite get a handle on. They brought the tuk tuk driver inside and he admitted he couldn’t go there. So I was basically fucked. It seemed like, either I go back to my hotel and start all over, or I just do the tour for $15 which they actually made sound like a good idea. So I did it. Which would have been my second mistake had it not actually been a fun day because of my driver, Deepak.
Deepak was a petite middle-aged guy who seemed a little frazzled and introverted. I sat up front in the taxi with him and he didn’t talk. He drove me to the Red Fort. We parked in a dusty lot a few blocks away and he led me down a dirt path, through a busy market and across a life-threateningly busy street to the outside of the Fort. Before I went to the ticket counter (which had a very short line, btw and there were tuk tuks there too btw), he told me in a very thick indian accent that I could barely understand, not to talk to guides, photographers, rickshaws and not to trust anyone. There would be pickpockets. Meet him back at the taxi in one and a half hours. He must have had really good faith in my directional capabilities to think I knew how to get back to the taxi (luckily I had made a mental map in my head as we walked, i.e. turn left at the sneaker stand, right at the jacket seller, etc).
The Red Fort was cool. It was HUGE. Basically a fortress built out of red sandstone enclosing a large (half mile?) area on the inside which was primarily tree-shaded lawns, but also had many ornate buildings scattered about and a museum or two that had old weapons and interesting do-dads in them. I didn’t pay much attention to the history, so can’t say much more than that. It struck me that it would have been a good place to hang out and read for a day or have a picnic.
I went back to the taxi when I was supposed to, but Deepak wasn’t there and it looked like a line of cars had parked in front of our taxi, blocking the way out. Sigh. Then Deepak appeared. Turned out he hadn’t trusted my directional capabilities after all and had been looking for me. Then a cool thing happened. I asked how we were going to get the taxi out with all those other cars blocking us, and he showed me by pushing an entire line of around 8 cars out of the way like a train (no one had left their parking brakes on). I laughed.
Next, he took me to an old mosque close by. When we got there he told me I couldn’t go inside because there was bread inside. I said, “what?" He said “if you go inside now you will find bread". "I’ll find bread?" "Yes, bread." That didn’t sound like a reason not to go, so I tried to enter and got stopped because there was *prayer* inside. Oh ok, now I get it, prayer, not bread. I was only just starting to get the hang of Deepak’s accent.
Next we drove to New Delhi (we’d been in Old Delhi up til then). But first, I would be leaving out an enormous part of the story if I didn’t describe what it was like to drive with Deepak in Old Delhi. We never drove in a straight line for more than a second or two. No one pays attention to the lanes on the road. Every 3 seconds it seemed like we were coming within hairs of a head-on collision. No joke and I am not at all exaggerating. There is nearly every form of transportation on the road that you can imagine. I was sorry I sat up front because it was a constant “oh my god, we’re going to hit that (fill in the blank)!!!!” After a while I realized I could relax if I just focused my attention out the side window instead of the front. Penny, nothing we’ve seen up til now compares with the roads in India!!!
I was really friendly and smiley to Deepak and after a while he started talking to me.
“Do you have children? Deepak asked. "No, do you?” I said. “No", he said.
The first stop in New Delhi was a building called the Lotus Garden, but the line to get in was around the block, so I said, lets skip it. It did look super cool though, kind of like the Sydney Opera House— a huge white flower. I guess the inside doesn’t have much to see— its used primarily for meditation.
“Are you married?” Deepak asked. "Nope, how about you?" I said. “No", he said. “No marriage, no problems", I said. "Ha ha, some marriage good, some bad" he said.
Next stop was a market which I was in and out of in about 10 minutes, I wasn’t in the shopping mood.
“You have boyfriend?” he asked. No I said. Then he turned up the radio before I could ask him the same question. I had a suspicion that he might be a little queer, but I wasn’t going to ask. Instead, after a pause, I said “is that ok?” He said "yes, why not?!"
Next stop was another temple covered with pigeons. After the Red Fort, the quality of the stops had dropped dramatically, I noticed. I spent 5 minutes in the temple but found a large park nearby that I could have spent the rest of the day in people-watching. I eventually made it back to the taxi and Deepak was sleeping.
On our way to the next stop, he said, “why you dont have a boyfriend?” I said it just wasn’t my thing. I didn’t think he was being rude, he just seemed like he wanted some education. I said, "is that ok?" He said, "yes! why not?!" Then I said, "what if a girl has a girlfriend, is that ok?" He said, "yes! why not ?!"
Then we started joking around on a variety of subjects. A lot of the time a conversation would end in a non-sequiter though. For example, “So whats the secret to getting these touts to leave you alone?” I asked. And he said, “sometimes good sleep, sometimes bad. Not good mind”.
Towards the end of the day he started coming along with me when we stopped (we saw like 10 places, most of which weren’t particularly worth the drive I thought) and we kept joking around and teasing. He turned out to be a silly, tongue-in-cheek kind of guy.
When there were a couple stops left, I started trying to persuade Deepak not to take me back to the Agency when we were done (when we left the agency earlier, Mr Gold Sleeves said presumptuously that he’d see me after the tour and we’d have a chai and book some tickets). I told him I didn’t like that Gold Sleeves guy, that he was a jerk and I didn’t want to buy his stupid tickets. I had Deepak almost convinced (I said I’d even buy him a small bottle of whiskey in exchange), but in the end he was too afraid of getting in trouble. He said gold sleeves would call him up and yell at him. He told me just to say I was tired and would come back the next day and buy the tickets then, but dont say that he told me to say that.
So we went back, and this time it wasn’t Gold Sleeves, it was someone else who I liked better at first, so actually considered buying one ticket from him, but in the end, the train tickets were sold out for the day I wanted, so I got out of it. But I basically had to walk out of there with the guy still trying to sell me a plane ticket.
Back in my hood, I had Chana Masala (chick peas in a spicy tomato sauce) at a different restaurant but I thought I could make it way better at home, so I didn’t even finish.
I should mention, one of the tour stops was an absolutely delicious restaurant where I had tandoori chicken, dal, naan and a mango lassi.
Im in Varanasi now which is absolutely kick-ass. I might not post again for a few days . . .
