Thank God the tories are back in power as law and justice will be seen to be done, no messing. These louts on our streets will be found and punished to make everyone else feel safer; CCTV footage shown in public places will find them out and they will be made to face their crimes; ' rights'? 'rights'? How dare they speak of rights when they need to face the full force of responsibility.
Blair's years of liberal wishy washy tolerance has come to an end and the tories have the solution for the crimes - punishment. 6 months for stealing a bottle of water - hurrah; no community nancy pancy service, oh no, this is hard Labour; street cleaning, 'if you're lucky my son'.
Because if there is one thing the Conservative party learnt in its 14 years in opposition, its how to listen to the people, to interpret their needs and wants; it understands how the young people in the cities feel disenfranchised, isolated, negatively labelled thus the punishment not only befits the crime but also addresses these feelings of ousted, unwanted, unvalued.
In fact, it is about to be announced that they have found the perfect solution to the soon to be overcrowded prisons of Britain; deportation. Yes, the ideal place and the ideal solution - just look at how it worked for Victoria's people. Pile them all onto a ship bound for the Falklands. Every aspect of the Falklands make them perfect; we own them (being perfectly strategically placed for the UK) islands; miles from any serious civilisation; barren wastes of land; hostile indiginous people; farming potential if they have the guts to try it; easily policed with just 1 border and definitely not in our back yard. In fact, control the potential population problem for a small-ish island by not putting any oranges on board the ship; some will naturally fall away due to illness.
Evictions of mum's of delinquents, that's a bit mild, come on, this is the hard no nonsense party of future home security, to ensure no repeat of the problem at home, compulsory sterilisation for the mothers of all prosecuted children thus solving a plethora of governmental headaches in one go: social disfunctionality; unemployment figure rises; the economic cost of social reforms; failing school standards and the deterioration of the English Language due to gangsta speak.
Fantastic; Brave new world.
