Now now, before you drift off into your repressed memory of
how you woke up one morning nursing a hangover and regretting that old adage
no-one’s ugly after 2am..., the topic at
hand is NOT lady-boys.
As we’ve all geared up
and stand there on the boat, gently floating on the clear, warm opaque tropical emerald waters offshore, we hear the instructor yell out “Please do your pre-dive
safety check!”. Right, what was that acronym again? BWRAF...Begin With Review
And Friend? Bruce Willis Ruins All Films? Blonde Women Really Are Fun? No no
no, toooo yesterday, got it, Bangkok Women Really Are Fellas!
Having checked our
BCD’s, weight belts, releases, air and final ok, we chose to somersault into
water with the boat crew giving us a score out of 10 for our water entry.
Nailed it...10/10 as I basked in the glory of a round of applause from those on
board.
Floating there
awaiting the others for their entry, the salt water beads of my face as the Sun
continues to illuminate the day. As
formalities were completed with the 5-point safety descent, we deflate our
BCD’s and slowly submerge into the warm waters...1m, 5m’s, 10m’s...18. As we adjust for neutral buoyancy the
instructor checks the current to determine our initial heading. Left it is as
he taps his left shoulder to signal the reef to be at our left side.
Gliding along the
coral garden we see an array of marine life from delicate ornate corals such as
table, plate, brain, crinoids and anemone. Each inhabited by bountiful creatures
from benthos dwellers in nudibranch’s, to more curious critters of remoras, moray
eels, bashful blue lobsters, sleep stingrays and the majestic lionfish. As we become engrossed in the privilege of
swimming underwater, we peer into purple sponge barrel corals in anticipation
of what we will find next, a puffer fish, scorpionfish or camouflaged frogfish?
Nearing the end of the dive we come across an artificial reef, teeming with
diversity and plentiful marine life, from schools of barracuda forming a tornado
like figuration around us to ancient hawksbill turtles just passing by.
Cubicle? What cubicle.
Time just passes by as we become encapsulated by the beauty of the marine
environment.
TINK! TINK! TINK! The
sound of the tank banger hitting against the instructors tank to get our
attention- safety stop. As we hover
there in mid-water at 5metres for 3minutes games are played to pass the time.
The instructor takes off his fins, inserts one into the other and stands on
them in mid-water to simulate a surfing action. Next, he takes of his BCD, sits
on his tank and simulates that he is riding a bull like a cowboy. Show-off...but
the blonde next to me is duly impressed as she flashes him her high beams through
a foggy mask. The Devil does wear Mares.
Surfacing we return to
shore to get re-acquainted with diving head office - the bar. As our meals are
being cooked on hot charcoals, the feeling of downing a cold beer on the beach after
a long hot day is second to none. Sitting there, we all gaze into the horizon
as the setting Sun caresses the gentle waters, painting the skyline with hues
of deep yellow and orange, eerie blues, crimson reds and strokes of majestic
purple. With home as far away in our thoughts as possible, we let out a deep
breath of contentment knowing that the Sun has called it day and the night has
only just begun...
