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Bangkok Women Really Are Fellas

AUSTRALIA | Monday, 12 March 2012 | Views [684]

Now now, before you drift off into your repressed memory of how you woke up one morning nursing a hangover and regretting that old adage no-one’s ugly after 2am..., the topic at hand is NOT lady-boys.

As we’ve all geared up and stand there on the boat, gently floating on the clear, warm opaque tropical emerald waters offshore, we hear the instructor yell out “Please do your pre-dive safety check!”. Right, what was that acronym again? BWRAF...Begin With Review And Friend? Bruce Willis Ruins All Films? Blonde Women Really Are Fun? No no no, toooo yesterday, got it, Bangkok Women Really Are Fellas!

Having checked our BCD’s, weight belts, releases, air and final ok, we chose to somersault into water with the boat crew giving us a score out of 10 for our water entry. Nailed it...10/10 as I basked in the glory of a round of applause from those on board.

Floating there awaiting the others for their entry, the salt water beads of my face as the Sun continues to illuminate the day.  As formalities were completed with the 5-point safety descent, we deflate our BCD’s and slowly submerge into the warm waters...1m,  5m’s, 10m’s...18.  As we adjust for neutral buoyancy the instructor checks the current to determine our initial heading. Left it is as he taps his left shoulder to signal the reef to be at our left side.

Gliding along the coral garden we see an array of marine life from delicate ornate corals such as table, plate, brain, crinoids and anemone. Each inhabited by bountiful creatures from benthos dwellers in nudibranch’s, to more curious critters of remoras, moray eels, bashful blue lobsters, sleep stingrays and the majestic lionfish.  As we become engrossed in the privilege of swimming underwater, we peer into purple sponge barrel corals in anticipation of what we will find next, a puffer fish, scorpionfish or camouflaged frogfish? Nearing the end of the dive we come across an artificial reef, teeming with diversity and plentiful marine life, from schools of barracuda forming a tornado like figuration around us to ancient hawksbill turtles just passing by.

Cubicle? What cubicle. Time just passes by as we become encapsulated by the beauty of the marine environment.

TINK! TINK! TINK! The sound of the tank banger hitting against the instructors tank to get our attention- safety stop.  As we hover there in mid-water at 5metres for 3minutes games are played to pass the time. The instructor takes off his fins, inserts one into the other and stands on them in mid-water to simulate a surfing action. Next, he takes of his BCD, sits on his tank and simulates that he is riding a bull like a cowboy. Show-off...but the blonde next to me is duly impressed as she flashes him her high beams through a foggy mask. The Devil does wear Mares.

Surfacing we return to shore to get re-acquainted with diving head office - the bar. As our meals are being cooked on hot charcoals, the feeling of downing a cold beer on the beach after a long hot day is second to none. Sitting there, we all gaze into the horizon as the setting Sun caresses the gentle waters, painting the skyline with hues of deep yellow and orange, eerie blues, crimson reds and strokes of majestic purple. With home as far away in our thoughts as possible, we let out a deep breath of contentment knowing that the Sun has called it day and the night has only just begun...

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