Zurich would be the ideal place to hold an international nana convention. It is neat, clean and orderly where people dress in their Sunday best everyday, and behave accordingly. Afternoon tea at the Sprungli bakery for the world’s supreme melting moments and everyone tucked into bed by 9pm.
On my first visit I felt awkward raising my voice above a whisper. On my second I was taken for a night on the town to the Alpen Rock House for dinner and dancing to AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell”. And by the third time I find myself helping Swiss Tom choreograph a Liza Minnelli number for his drag show. Zurich is a dichotomy of experiences for the gamut of tastes. On my next visit I plan to enrol in a yodelling class.
Apparently three-quarters of visitors to Zurich come for business. However, I cannot spot one pin striped suit, nor briefcase at the annual Street Parade, held every August. A cross between Adelaide’s Christmas Pageant and Sydney’s Mardi Gras, it is a celebration of love and life and this year’s theme of Move your mind, Don’t be blind has revellers costumed in their carnival finest. My nana would love it.
Maybe the pin striped ones are keeping a low profile in the 400 odd banks to be found in this financial Mecca. Switzerland is the quintessential destination for the outrageously wealthy where there are 15 private banks, still family owned, to cater to private clients who need a spare US$1million to merely open an account.
It is the Swiss banks legendary privacy which attracts the uber rich, dishonest third world government officials, and other crooks, as only one person will know your ID, as all transactions are processed by an account number.
If like me your fantasy is to one day possess a Swiss bank account maybe you are already blessed. Check the web for the database of Unclaimed Swiss Accounts and other Holocaust-era assets with 50,000 names. There is over US$1.25billion on offer, but I alas, am not one of the privileged ones. However, if you can prove you are related to one of the Jones or two of the Smiths that appear, you’ll never need to buy another lottery ticket and then join legendary squillionaire, J. Paul Getty’s chant, “If you can actually count your money, you are not really rich”.
Zurich is the world’s top ranked city with the highest standard of living for the fifth consecutive year. It is almost a utopian success story, much to the chagrin of the most idealist communist, where consumerism and capitalism rule and function with the rarest of hiccups. Like the US nearly every home has a firearm but rarely is there an explosion or tragedy to make the 6 o’clock news.
The motto of the museums is “please touch or nothing will happen” and there is a tangible atmosphere of enthusiasm from the mix of old and slick modern buildings which would rival any in New York or Tokyo.
First impressions can be deceiving, and the staid, conservative appearance belies the dynamic experience Zurich offers. Save your pennies and although the locals may initially show restraint, soon enough you will be exchanging more than tea cake recipes.
