It was in the middle of the summer but it was raining and foggy and I was lost in a new city, again, searching for something I had lost but did not know where or how or even what it was. I found myself in Peja, crashing at some local coffee shop very early in the morning watching the city come alive.I was lost but did not want to be found and I wrote letters to the ones who might wonder, but I never sent them. Sometimes, I learned, it’s comforting to accept being lost because then you don’t have to feel scared about not being found. I’d been searching for somewhere to call my home for so long, but realised that if you simply give up the aim of a destination you don’t have to search for a home and you’ll make a new home each morning.It’s something about giving yourself to the other side. If you can’t fit inside the box, why not defy their ideals and gladly step aside.If you can’t fit in, stand out clear and loud, as much as you can.One night after a noisy gig at a drunken bar I aimed for the beautiful Rugova's open fields and majestic mountains, following no direction but those heights, a bit out of the city. It was getting darker and I lost track of which direction I’d been walking and couldn’t find my way back. It was raining, but it didn’t bother me very much because I wanted to learn nature, practice acceptance, to embrace the storm like no one else. I was thinking, the only reason to why people hide from the rain is to not get wet, because they’re dry now and they’d like to keep it that way.It was one of these quiet, foggy nights when the atmosphere is thick and it feels like if you just listen close enough you’ll hear unworldly whispers. It was a peaceful kind of sad. . . A story comes alive when it's being told, and this is when I tell you mine. I decided to start a new adventure, to walk new streets and find new stories. I do believe that fear is not real.Danger is very real, but fear is a choice.I was that one person who always stopped herself from doing whatever was out of that thing we call comfort zone. But I was tired of it. I keep thinking about all the stuff that I should have done when I had the chance, but didn't. Have you ever experienced somthing that felt like a dream and you didn't know what to believe? Was it real? I found myself on a mountain, high above the world. I thought I was surrounded with magic.
