This is the second and final recount of my time as a summer camp counselor, and is continued on in the dot point form, otherwise I would literally write forever on camp weirdness and strange camper anecdotes.
● Needy American children and freaky over encouragement.
I have never used an expression as much in my life as I used “good job” to those children.
“Good job, you’re sitting on a horse and not falling off! Great job!”
“You made your bed – Good Job!”
● Camp food – egh!
Eating like a child really isn’t as fun as you thought it was now that you’re 22, if I never see another chicken nugget I’ll be happy.
● Camp feet!
Cracks, blisters, thong marks (sorry, “flip flops”), unscrubbable dirt stains, oh and they really do smell!
●"Bug Bites"
I don’t know where these mutant mosquitoes came from, but they sure do itch more than the ones Down Under. Most people’s legs looked like some form of flesh-eating bacteria had been let loose on them.
●Sticky Skin.
I didn’t use moisturiser the entire summer as my new skin routine consisted of sunscreen, bug spray, sunscreen, sunscreen, a layer of dirt, sunscreen, and wait for it – more sunscreen.
● Meal Time Screaming
Never before had I been half way through my meal to be screamed at to “shake my booty” before I came to camp. I was sitting with Stanford cabin, picking my way through my meal of fried something, when the table next to me screamed in typical high pitched girl voices, “Hey Stanford! Shake your booty!” To my surprise all the girls stood up on the benches, dragging me with them, and proceeded to dance and sing:
Jump, shake your booty, jump jump, shake your booty.
I’m sure you can imagine the actions… Meal times were also interrupted with requests for cabins to “show us how to get down,” “do the Macarena” and the “beaver song.” One particular meal time the counselors had had enough and we made our own request:
“Hey campers!”
“Hey what?”
“Hey campers!”
“Hey what?”
“Eat your DINNER!”
They were not impressed!
● Questions!
Oh Jesus! I have never been asked so many questions in my life! What time are we doing this? Where do I go for this? What should I wear? Where do I meet you? What’s for dinner? Should I eat this with a fork or spoon? (Whichever, leave me alone.) Should I wear my flip flops to the lake or my shoes? Should I change now or later? And the best question ever, came from the biggest questioner of them all, Meredith, on the final night of camp.
“Suze, should I take my sheets off my bed now and pack them, or should I leave them on my bed now, so that I can sleep in them and pack them in the morning?” she said with real concern and bewilderment in her voice.
To which I replied, at the end of my tether, “Meredith. Do you seriously expect me to answer that question?” She decided to leave them on her bed. Good job!
● And last, but definitely not least… Homesickness.
Did you know that homesickness is contagious? Did you? Well it is! My cabin was absolutely fine until one girl, the evil Ellie (actually quite a sweet kid), developed a chronic and highly infectious case of I miss my Mummy, which quickly spread among the girls. Now I also get homesick, so I should be sympathetic, but this girl! Ah. She began by coming to breakfast in tears. I tenderly asked if she was ok. To which she replied, yes, why? Well, I said, you like you’ve been crying. No, she said, I just have extreme allergies. Oh ok, my mistake, This developed into her waking one of us up each night to inform us that she was in fact very homesick, so homesick in fact that she had just vomited and wanted to go to the infirmary. Dear God. This happened three times in one night! Ah.
Well this ends my camp ranting and as I’m currently travelling the world I look forward to detailing all my exciting adventures as I effortlessly navigate subways, metros, Megabus routes and speak less-than-perfect French. Next up will be The Adventures of Suze and Trek America…
