Except for the nut cracking, mobile phone ringing Chinese man and the 5 minute wake up call we got before arriving in Guilin our train trip was uneventful. We caught a taxi to our hotel who didn't have our reservation - although I think the hotel receptionist spotted the Oreo still stuck between Sue's teeth and decided we were not the kind of clientele the hotel wanted.
Sue shouted and waved her arms about while I was stuck with the strenuous task of looking after the bags (Sue says 'as per usual'). Finally they agreed to give us a room and promptly upgraded us to a deluxe suite at no extra cost - go figure.
Once we felt fully recovered from our start to the day we bought a map at hotel reception and made our way to central square for breakfast - lots of people stared at Sue on the way there, my it was good to be back in China.
Our first priority after breakfast was to get train tickets to Hanoi, as the train to Vietnam from Guilin only runs twice a week. The reception at our hotel told us that you could only get the train ticket at the station so we headed there. Let me be the first to tell you that it is no small accomplishment to try and book a train ticket when everything is in Chinese and no-one speaks any English. Also don't be fooled into thinking that if you find a travel agency and their name is in English (no Chinese to be seen) that anyone in the agency will speak any English. I think the English may be to lure in the western tourists - but clearly they haven't thought this through to the next step. You will be thrilled to know that we eventually found an travel agency who could understand us and had heard of Hanoi. Once we had sorted out the train tickets we caught a taxi to Reed Flute Cave.
The Reed Flute Cave is a massive cave with really impressive stalagmites and tites. We wandered around taking pictures of neon lit mites and tites which had been named things like 'snake being repressed by rock' and 'birds in the forest' - to which they had cunningly added background bird noises. Sue and I also landed up seeing a selection of live 1000yr old turtles - can anyone say tourist trap or rip off?
Our next sight seeing stop was to the Seven Star Park, where we saw another cave with mites & tites but after just having seen the Reed Flute Cave we were not that impressed. Sadly you can't just wander around the cave on your own, you have to go with a tour group, so we landed up being on a Chinese tour. We clearly didn't understand a word and not surprisingly the tour dragged on for an age - Sue says I am not accurately describing the mind numbing boredom she felt, but since I tend to tune out when people are trying to lecture me in a language I don't understand I don't think I felt half her pain - I was just disappointed I didn't get a red hat and badge the Chinese tour groups usually get. Other than the cave it wasn't a great park and I'm not sure why it is so highly recommended.
We decided to have dinner in the hotel as at this stage as it was late and we were feeling exceptionally lazy. We opted for room service, but after room service hung up on Sue when she tried to order in English we decided to try the hotel restaurant and hope for the best. I ordered a ham & cheese sandwich that came with a complementary plastic glove - just the one though. While we were waiting for Sue's food to arrive we were entertained by the views of middle aged and older ladies doing dance steps on the promenade to 'boom, boom, boom, I want you in my room' and other such classic hits - it was very entertaining.
Next morning we were up early for our day tour of the River Li. You cannot do the tour independently - so you arrive by coach and then you are herded on to one of the many, many tourist boats lined up, once you are all on board the boats pull away from the pier in one long line. If you planned on having some quiet time to commune with the river gods it was never going to happen. The day was quite misty but we still landed up taking tons of photo's - of course. We met Wayne and Emily and we spent time chatting to them inbetween taking photo's of hills named things like '7 Horse Hill' - see the horses yet Sue?
We reached Yangshou and the end of our boat trip where Wayne, Sue, myself and 3 Chinese guys, who spoke not a word of English, went on to do a further tour. The first thing on our additional tour was a floating bamboo ride. Basically they put all of us onto a mini tea house which is kept afloat on a bamboo raft - you are then punted down the river by a local while being sung to by a lady in traditional dress. It sounds ridiculous but was actually really fun - mostly thanks to the Chinese guys. Firstly they wanted to have a go punting and almost crashed us into another raft, then they insisted that Wayne have a go. Wayne was a good sport and had a go while singing 'Oh Solomeio' - in fact the only words he could remember to that song. One of the Chinese guys was given a gift by the singing lady but when our guide indicated it could be considered an engagement present it quickly got passed over to Wayne. In the middle of the river there are stationary bamboo rafts selling beer, colddrinks and fish on a stick - of course we had to pull over so the Chinese guys could get some fishonastick - not my first choice on the list. While on the raft we got to see a Cormorant fishing and Chinese tourists embroiled in a deadly water fight - Sue was our only casualty as she got a splattered by a random water shot going astray.
The next stop on our tour was a big Banyan tree - we walked around it so that we could all live to 99 (beat that all you souls you dived into Lake Baikal in the hopes of additional 25). The Chinese guys though it was hysterical when Sue got asked to have her photo taken with a random stranger (not the first and not the last to date) - they told our tour guide that Sue should start charging for each photo - I'm sure that's what I've been saying all along.
Last stop was a big rock with a hole in it named Moon Rock - clearly the name 'Rock with Hole' just not having the same ring to it.
We then drove for an hour back to Guilin - this was Wayne's first trip to China and he was clearly not use to their individual style of driving. When we dropped him off I think he was so happy to still be alive that he kissed the tour guide 3 times on the cheek - this caused much teasing from the Chinese guys, so when we dropped them off one of them jokingly indicated that he would also like an European style send off - the guy indicating was hellishly surprised when Sue stood up and kissed him on the cheek - his mates were almost rolling on the ground with laughter.
In our final day in Guilin we went to go solitary hill park and the city walls. It didn't take us long to make our way around but our hearts weren't really in it - at one stage we were happily taking pictures of the husband and wife tree when a tour group came up and started taking pictures of the tree on the other side of the path - Sue & I clearly in fine form.
After that it was the usual train admin. and wait at the station before heading of to Vietnam - goodbye China, good morning Vietnam (oh come on - when else am I going to get to say it!)!
