i've been having trouble sleeping lately. i can usually fall asleep a few pages into whatever book i happen to be reading, but lately it takes me about an hour to nod off after putting my book down. then, after finally being lulled into dreamland i find myself waking up in the dead of night to roll around restlessly for an hour or two until fatigue finally lets my mind shut down again. perhaps calling it the dead of night is a misnomer. the neighbourhood is still alive, even at 3am on a weekday. it doesn't help that the oyster restaurant below the apartment is open 24 hours. why anyone would crave a plate of oysters at 3 in the morning is beyond me, although i suspect it may have something to do with the love hotel across the street. the noise of dishes clattering as they're being washed is disturbing, but it's the nauseating smell of steaming shellfish that really makes it hard for me to find rest. that and the incessantly erratic hum of the ventilation system just below my window. i actually don't mind the hum. nor the silence. it's the constant switching off and on that is so irritating. just as the hum becomes just another white noise beckoning me to sleep, it clicks off and the silence becomes deafening. deafening until i get used to it and become lulled into sleep once again, just in time for it to click back on to start the vicious cycle all over again.
i shouldn't be too hard on the noises and smells though. i slept like a baby for my first month here, oblivious (or at least unbothered) by the fan or scent of wafting oysters. nor can i blame my back, which has given me naught but a slight ache from time to time, and that ache only after standing or walking for too long without my brace. lying on my futon + thermarest is bliss for my back. so this restlessness is not for lack of comfort.
i guess the real culprit has been my restless mind as of late. after corresponding with mrs kim, my old hogwan director at ecc, i've decided to move back to sokcho and work for the next four months while i wait for a university position to open up down here in daegu in march. mrs kim was very kind in her offer and i'm looking forward to an apartment and a steady income once again. i'm also very excited at the prospect of teaching again. it's been over five months since i had a steady job and a place to call home. so it seems that it's excitement, not anxiety that is keeping me up at night. i'm actually excited to go back to work. fancy that.
