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Horny German Truck Driver 🎵😂🚛

GERMANY | Sunday, 17 September 2023 | Views [189]

The Horny German Truck Driver

Have you ever been offered sex for money but weren’t sure if you had to pay or if the other person was going to pay? Have you ever felt you were unwittingly living out a scene from a German porno film? No and no? Funnily enough, my answers are yes and yes. Both scenarios happened to me in the one incident.

It was July 1997. I was 23 at the time and backpacking around Germany. I had spent the weekend with my German friend, Julia, and her family in the small village of Bad Breisig, 30km south of Bonn.

It was Monday and I needed to make my way down south to a small village called Kempten, roughly 500km away. I had some English friends there who I’d been staying with and using their flat as a base whilst I was travelling around. With my savings low and being a weekday, the cheapest way to make the trip was to hitchhike. Julia made me a sign in German saying I was an Australian looking for a ride. We hoped the Aussie link would make people stop. Armed with the sign, and a map from Julia’s father, they drove me to a rest stop on a nearby motorway where I could start to look for a ride. It’s illegal for vehicles to stop on the autobahn so to hitch a ride you have to find one at rest stops. There were a few ways to go about getting a ride. One was to approach people and to ask to travel with them, or another was to just stand near the exit of the rest stop and hold up a sign as people drove past, in the hope that they’d stop.

I’d made good progress in the morning and hadn’t had to wait very long for a ride each time I was looking. Different friendly people had driven me as far as they were going in my direction and, come lunchtime, I was at a large busy truck stop with petrol station, shops and restaurant. After about half an hour of trying the sign method with no luck, I decided to try the direct approach. With my very limited German, I walked through the car park, asking around.

I noticed a truck drive past and pull up. I saw the driver hop out and I decided to ask him. Instead, he came over to me and asked if I needed a lift. Hell, yeah. I noticed his fly was undone and just thought the idiot had forgotten to do it up when he last went to the toilet. If only that were true.

We were on our way down the autobahn and I quickly noticed a porn mag sitting on the dash. The truckie looked at me and said I could have a look if I wanted to. After a few minutes, he asked me if I liked the mag. I smiled and kept looking. Not long later, he asked if it was making my dick hard. WHAT? That’s a bit fuckin’ personal, I thought. He revealed that looking through the magazine makes his dick hard. He started to rub the bulge in his trousers and it suddenly dawned on me why his fly was undone.

This guy was about 5’72” (I’m talking about his height, not the length of anything J), quite slim, had short brown hair and a porno-star moustache. With him excited and his fly undone, I could see he was wearing bright pink underwear. What was that all about? He said something like, once he’s hard he likes to have sex or to wank. Do I need to know this, I thought? He kept saying the word ‘mush’, whilst miming the wanking motion. I concluded that mush must mean wank. He kept touching himself. I thought he was going to have a wank right there and then, in front of me, as we were motoring down the autobahn.

To add to my ‘this must be a dream’ mindset, he said, “50 Deutsch Mach”. I nervously asked what was 50DM? He said a few words, including the word ‘mush’. I innocently thought he was saying he pays 50DM to have a wank. I thought, what an idiot; everyone else does it for free. But then he kept mentioning it and I realised it wasn’t a statement but a question.

What you must realise is that all this was in German. I was struggling to get my head around the language, as well as the fact I was being propositioned by a male German truck driver. I hid behind the language barrier and pretended not to understand. Not that I had to pretend. The truth was, I didn’t understand. 50DM was to pass hands but that’s all I knew.
Who was to pay who? Who would have to do the mushing to whom? Would there be more than mushing? Oh, fuck! Get me off this truck.

I continued to play dumb, afraid of his reaction if I turned him down. Would he turn violent if I said no? Travelling down the highway at over 100km with nowhere to run and with no control over where the guy was driving me, what could I do? Admittedly, there wasn’t a lot he could have done to me whilst driving the truck but, at the same time, I was a passenger, just a long for the ride, totally at the mercy of my chauffeur.

Well, this could have gone on forever – he asking for some sort of sexual favour and me pretending not to understand. Maybe that’s what I should have aimed to do until we got to the next rest stop. In the end, I just said no; I wasn’t interested.

Expecting the worst, once again, the truckie’s behaviour came from left field and surprised me. The guy became all normal. He started asking me if I was studying in Germany or just travelling around. He asked about Australia and other countries I’d been. That didn’t stop me from asking to get off at the next stop though, even though the guy was going in my direction a lot farther.

I sat down at the stop for a second to collect my thoughts. I asked myself, “What just happened there?” Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the picture of the truck driver touching himself through his pink underwear out of my head.

I later managed to get a lift to the nearby town of Augsburg where I caught a train the rest of the way to Kempten. I arrived in Kempten in the evening and went straight to the pub to meet up with my English mates. I had everyone in stitches telling them about the horny truck driver.

And I wrote a song about it.

Horny German Truck Driver

Lyrics:

I found myself hitchhikin’ on the road in Germany
I had me a sign explaining my next destiny
Just when I thought a ride wasn’t meant to be
Along came a trucker who stopped to pick up me

He said, “How do you do? And can I do you too?
I’ll have my way with you.”
I said, “Not from this land, so I don’t understand
Why you don’t use your hand.”

‘Cause he’s a
Horny German truck driver
He wants from me a sex favour
It gets lonely on the road
He wants my help to shoot his load
‘Cause he’s a
Horny German truck driver
Horny German truck driver

He handed me a magazine which I was keen to read
The naked women in the book, they were a sight to see
The driver got excited; I could see his pink undies
The next thing I knew he was flirting there with me

He said, “How do you do? And can I do you too?
I’ll have my way with you.”
I said, “Not from this land, so I don’t understand
why you don’t use your hand.”

‘Cause he’s a
Horny German truck driver
He wants from me a sex favour
It gets lonely on the road
He wants my help to shoot his load
‘Cause he’s a
Horny German truck driver
Horny German truck driver