This surprise entry is for all the non parents out there who have no idea why I wouldn't write in the journal since arriving home four weeks ago with Ankita in tow. Parents know! Truth is - I have been busy,tired, busy, preoccupied,busy, and distracted. Probably in equal amounts. That goes for the rest of the family too. Shayne is dressing for three - which is not easy when you have two young girls who have to contemplate what they will wear and questions their mothers wardrobe taste for the particular outing or the weather or the whim. I listen with amazement and confusion that a three year old who does not speak english can converse about attire with a mother whose Hindi comprehension is extremely limited. Yet somehow they do!
I have been cooking and cleaning and cooking and cleaning and shopping and cleaning and ironing and washing and cooking and ironing - you know I will never - even when I am dead - never know why we wear so many *&^%$%^&&** clothes. But there you have it. Young girls are fussy, super and even uber super dooper models are not as fussy as my two ( make it three) girls. And then I see them in their things and I go - oh don't you look pretty - or wow you are so groovy - and that happens all the time. Sometimes every day some times every couple of hours.
So four weeks have gone by like minutes. Ankita is rapidly adjusting to family life. i wont say it has been easy because it is not. Not for us and especially not for her. What an amazing child we have here. Her patience and generosity, her strength of character and warmness of spirit have been a blessing to us all. Neelu too has been through a very trying realisation. She has been through the trauma of this journey and now has a little sister who has completely changed her world and she is trying so hard to be loving and generous and kind and thoughtful and most of the times she is. At other times you hear here from somewhere in the house yelling Ankita Nay! Nay Ankita! ANKITA NAY! But for the most part from the end of week two they have been getting on better and better.
And now on the eve of Christmas eve they are sleeping. Ankita in the top bunk and Neelu below. They negotiated there places on top and bottom themselves and are both very happy. They kiss each other goodnight and chat a little before slowing down to sleep. To see them lying there asleep is a delight. We are blessed. Truly - with silence for at least nine hours...It is a very happy family. There are moments of joy and some sadness too. On the second night Akita was in bed and I went in to check on her. She was lying looking up at the ceiling silently crying. It was a huge moment for us all because she had not cried at all in India, not when we left the orphanage, not when we got on the plane - not at all. She was extremely happy on her adventure. We had the odd tantrum as I have mentioned but there were no tears with them. Just big, big noise. Now lying there in silence tears streaming down her face we took a moment to touch her. She wanted to be left alone. We retreated. It rocks me a little still. Her loss. Her journey from Ranchi - to Delhi which we still chat about - then being in the shishu bhavan nearly a year. Leaving friends, Basan, Poona, Leelu and others. We can only try and imagine what is going through her mind and how it is affecting her. She is a little warrior though. She fights hard for what she thinks she needs and we love that about her. We are getting better at communicating and as we do the negotiations get longer and funnier. She has met with some of the family and extended clan and has made some firm friendships already. We love this life. We love our two wonderful children. We are a family after six long years. Three years for Neelu and three more for Ankita. Six years that are now getting easy to let go of as we look to the bright and shining future, the anticipation of adventure, the contemplation of all that life is to be as all of us - the Sidhus on safari.
May the gods smile upon you this Christmas and new year. May Jesus bring you joy and peace, may Laxshmi give you manna, may Krishna give your journey ease and may Ganesha gather you in all his arms and squeeze you like the only child in the universe.
