The Birth of a Phoenix "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you." Marianne Williamson

How fate lined up the dominoes

I was told that all you have to do is ask for something, and see
yourself already with it, and it will be yours, its not your place to
ask how it will happen, what needs to fall into place for this to be
mine, this is not yours to worry about. Your only job, your only
concern, the only thing required of you is to PAY ATTENTION to what is
brought into your day to day life, live life aware, if something falls
into the category of 'coincidental', 'de ju vue', 'serendipitous' or
'ironic', pay attention to it. When life presents you with the steps
to take ACT, and ACT NOW, don't wait, don't think about it a zillion
times first, don't over analyze it to death, just act.

That's what happened to me. I asked for an Italian villa to live in
with no concerns for money, the ability to travel the world and just
do as I please. Eat when I'm hungry, sleep when I'm tired, drink when
I'm thirsty and fuck when I'm horny. Everyday I said to myself that I
had these things, I sat and closed my eyes and pictured how it would
feel to have them, how it would taste, or smell or feel, in my day
dreams I felt as if I already had what I wanted.

Then it happened. In little pieces flagged by coincidental events like
little road signs saying "go this way". I was coming up on the end of
a Biology PreMed course requirement, one semester left, a part time
job who expected me to be leaving at the end of the semester, a house
that a co-owned with a friend who owed me a little money, a zoo full
of pets, and a home situation that was miserable for everyone living
in the house. The chance to go to house sit for a friend in the
military during his 5 month deployment in his house in Italy. WOW I
thought, what a great time that would be, but there is no way *I* can
do that! I mean I have all of these responsibilities to live up to,
this job my house, the pets, school, and besides who can just up and
leave the country like that. I politely decline my friends offer

I happen to find out that the friend in the military only found me was
by getting lost and just happening to end up at my work place and
happened to recognize my car and stopped in to say hello to me. -Hey!
That sounds very *coincidental* so I brought it up to my housemate who
I was having a hard time living with about this offer, sort of
offhandedly. That's when he asked me why I said no. I reminded him of
that list of things I just mentioned to you guys -- he made me an
offer that was very ~serendipitous~, he would exchange the debt he
owned me for taking care of the house, the pets, storing my
belongings, and paying the whole portion of our shared bills, for the
6-7 month trip to Italy and when that time was up we were square.

It was extremely *ironic* that we had this conversation the day before
my school Pass/Fall deadline for the semester. Then it occurred to
me... ironic, serendipitous and coincidental all with regards to going
to Italy. Well that was my only job right? I mean if I wanted my
dream... of . living in .... oh shit ..... Id been asking to live in
an ITALIAN villa. That was it, there was no more denying it for me, I
HAD to go.

So from Wed to Fri I passed/failed all my classes, I gave up
responsibilities of my house, pets and belongings, I quit my job and I
bought a one-way ticket to Venice Italy!