Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist...
THAILAND | Wednesday, 8 April 2009 | Views [378]
The plane door was opened and with one final nameste I left Nepal
behind and sucked in the warm, heavy scent filled languid air of
Thailand. Knowing that this joyous experience wouldn’t last long I
breathed in deep and hard. By the time I was outside the airport and
filtering the air via a Marlboro it was gone.
The taxi to the
hostel was a strange affair. After 252 days I couldn’t see a single
snow capped mountain peak. Also travelling on a road with 4 lanes of
traffic just felt weird
I’m staying at the Urban Age Hostel just
off Silom Street. My room isn’t ensuite and it has no window. It does
however have a great bed, aircon that really works, free wifi and as I
found out when I walked 50m from the front door a pub called the Duke
of Wellington nearby!
Inside the Duke of Wellington
“The Good”
As
the heavy wooden door gently closed behind me trapping the icy air from
the heat outside I stared. First at the several TV’s showing football,
then at the ideally positioned pool table and then lastly at the bar. I
walked, softly with slight hesitation towards it. Arriving at the bar I
pulled out a stool, sat down and looked at the labels on the pumps. The
barman asked a question and I answered. Moments later a superbly poured
half litre of Heineken was in front of me. The outside of the glass was
covered in condensation; the froth of the head was teasing me to take a
sip. I paused the glass millimetres from my aching lips for a moment,
enjoying the pleasure of the drink not yet drunk. Then I quaffed.
After 11 months I finally had a beer that was:
a) Ice cold
And
b) Not polluted with glycerol
You have no idea what that was like!!!!!
I
put the glass down looking with wonder at where my fingertips had
momentarily warmed the glass and dispelled the condensation, caught up
in the rapture that my taste buds were experiencing
You know what; the second beer was just as good!
By now it was nearing 7pm and I went for a walk to find some food.
“The Bad”
I
was walking along Silom Street and it was full of street vendors
selling all manner of hot and tasty local food when I came across a
KFC. I walked past it but only just! However, when shortly after that I
came across a Burger King, the lure of a bacon double cheese burger was
beyond my ability to say no!!!
Damn….it tasted good
“The Ugly”
My
hostel is right next door to patong, the red light district (which
shows lack o f judgement on my part when I booked the hostel) and with
the exception of me there are a lot of old, fat and bald western men
walking around looking for what….a happy ending of course!
Walking
down the side streets looking at the girls outside the numerous
“massage parlours” with a worn out but fixed smile on their faces made
me wonder…
Now personally if a woman wants to earn a living on
her back with her legs in the air, then that is fine with me. However
I’ve never heard a little girl answer the question “what to you want to
be when you grow up” with the answer “a sex worker”.
The next day I went shopping….I HATE SHOPPING!!!!!!!
Being
sad, working class and English I ended up at Tesco (my mum thinks she‘s
posh because she shops at Waitrose). Why? I had a dream….of a cheese
counter going onto into infinity. What I got was 2 foot of chillier
space with a choice of cheddar, Edam or Gouda all pre packed age lumps
from that well known cheese producing country of New Zealand. I walked
away empty handed with my head hanging low.
That night I was
bimbling when the heavens opened (yep its monsoon time again) so I took
shelter in a nearby bar. It was 30m wide and 4m deep and all the tables
faced the pavement. I liked it! After the rain had stopped I went mmm…
As the Duke of Wellington was now my local I went down the side streets
along outdoor markets and pass the many and varied “dance bars”.
Despite the requests and offers I passed on by. I mean you wouldn’t
take a staving child to a sweet shop and tell him he can look at the
sweets but he can’t taste any of them. That would be cruel!
Freudian slip number one: err….see above
The
next day found me awake, slightly hung over and confused. The watch
said 08:21 but for some reason I just couldn’t believe it. Not having a
window can be a drawback after all. After a shower and my usual
breakfast it was on board the sky train (in my head I call it the
skylark…remember that TV show?) for the quick trip to the end of the
line and the central pier. The lass at the hostel told me not to go on
the tourist boat but to get on a local boat instead as it would be 130
baht cheaper. Seeing a boat pointing in the right direction, full of
local people I jumped on board. The boat left the pier and headed out
into the middle of the river. It continued heading to port till it
reached the other side and parked at the pier directly opposite the
pier it had just left. Then everyone got of…
Walking is much more fun!!!
A
few warm hours later I was at the place where all the temples and the
odd palace were. My first thought was N.A.F.T but I forced myself to at
least see one. So one large lazy golden Buddha later I felt satisfied
and moved on pass the royal palace and into one of the 1000’s of 7 till
11’s (open 24 hours a day) that litter this city for a cold drink.
Outside a man was very keen to show me a 50m statue of Buddha that
amazingly was not only nearby but by good chance was only open day, for
free (scam anyone?). I pointed out that I had seen a bigger one in
India so I couldn’t be arsed to see this one. The look of complete
disbelief that crossed his face was like a dark storm cloud ruining a
sunny day.
Later heading towards the train station, I was
sitting down outside a closed shop on a semi deserted street smoking a
fag, when a middle aged lady sat next to me. She told me that she
worked across the street, pointing out a dilapidated apartment block,
as she spoke. If I liked she had a young and good looking girl from
Nepal that I could “have” if I wanted to. Several thousand Nepali girls
are sex trafficked every year and not all of them end up in an Indian
brothel. This one didn’t look set up to cater to an exclusive cliental
which made me wonder what would happen to her when she was all “used
up” and no longer making her madam money.
In the evening it was
time for a long overdue manicure. First I had an hour’s foot massage,
which completely chilled and relaxed me out. The young lass doing the
manicure asked me how long I wanted my nails to be. I guess that Thai
and English people have a different idea of what “short” is. The last
time my nails were this short was one minute before I finally decided
to stop biting them
Thailand have very kindly decided to throw a
big party on my birthday, or as they call it New Year. It’s a 4 day
affair that starts in two days (the 12th). This is also the day I leave
Bangkok if I can get a train ticket. I could tell you the 1st half of
this story but I really can’t face reliving it just yet.
I’m sitting in the pub (no real surprise there) trying to open a packet of fags. Without nails it truly is bloody difficulty.
One
more thing: after two days I still think that being able to turn on a
light bulb 24 hours a day is a miracle worthy of worshipping a new god
Photo Galleries
My trip journals
Travel Answers about Thailand
Do you have a travel question? Ask other World Nomads.