Our journey into the
spiritual, the meeting yourself without excuses, has started. We dove
right into the deep end of it by attending a retreat called “The
way of mindfulness” for 7 days. We where not really prepared for
what that meant as we signed up for it and we both got a bit of a
shock when we arrived at the retreat centre, located in the middle of
the bush on the Coromandel peninsula, and was told that we would be
completely silent and meditate for about 6 hours per day starting at
6 am each morning! OK, here we go!
We where given some advice
on how to deal with the week as a couple, the teacher said that
people who did not connect with each other verbally during the
retreat had reported deeper experiences that when they had done so.
Roy and I said god bye and moved into tot the separate ladies/men's
dorms, and the small booths with a bed and a window (true monastery
style, but very nice in my opinion).
The very second I saw our
teacher I became hopeful about the experience to come. He is a tall
Englishman (funny, we have come all around the world just to be
taught by an Englishman!) with an aura of humour, playfulness and
pleasant presence. There was no sense of authority or “you must do
things my way”- attitude. What a relief! Each evening he gave talks
that where so genuinely human and wise with a great edge of humorous
distance to the spiritual profundity that he spoke of. Every evening
there would be a gem or two that went straight to core of my being,
turning my perspective of the world up side down once more, and
leaving me with knowledge that cannot be unknown. A bit like the
Matrix, once you have taken the blue pill (or was it the red, I don't
remember), there is no turning back. It is irreversible. My notion of
the reality of what it means to be a human is changed completely. In
some shape or form I have heard it all before, but Stephen (the
teacher, I cannot even spell to his Buddhist monk name) made it all
come alive and confirmed it all for me again.
I guess that Stephens
words affected me deeper also because they reached me after hours of
meditation. How does one describe meditation? I am not sure I know
how to. On the one hand it is about spending time looking inside,
looking at the relationship I have with myself, see patterns of
thoughts, emotions etc. On the other hand (or maybe it is a part of
the same thing) it is about practising single focus and notice how
the attention habitually flutters around and lingers either in the
past or in the future, rather than being in the now. The concept of
meditation (in my understanding) is that it is only by being in the
present moment , with whatever is there, that one can commune with
the truth of what it is to be a human being. On the retreat there was
nothing to do but meditate. We where cooked for (wonderful vegetarian
food with vegetables from the centre's garden) and all excuses for
escape into some kind of activity or conversation where stripped
away. So there we where. Oh, my god, I never thought doing nothing
could be such hard work! Although I have some experience of
meditation from before, it has never been taken to such extremes, and
it sure was fascinating and intense.
Both me and Roy
experienced the week as challenging process and we both had deep
experiences of different kinds and flavours. I am pleased to say that
we left each other to our own individual paths without connecting and
speaking with each other until the end of the 6th day!
We are both moved by this
intense experience and at least I would recommend it to everyone.
Love
ania
