So the other night I got into a debate with a coworker. We are both servers at a local restaurant and he had just received a not-so-great tip from a table. Sometimes this happens... I usually just shake my head and move on. But this guy instead stated that he didn't like people of a certain ethnicity because they don't tip. Needless to say the table that had just left was of this ethnicity. They weren't Caucasian nor were they African American so let's just mark them as "other" and not get into any kind of racial battle.
Anyway, I piped up and said you really shouldn't judge people based on stereotypes not everyone is the same and to group them all together isn't fair.
He countered with, that's what stereotypes are there for; because they are true. There may be a few exceptions to the rule but for the most part that's how people are.
At this point I shook my head again and started to rub my temple, feeling the signs of a headache coming on. So I say, you know a stereotype doesn't really allow for exceptions. That's the point. People come up with these generalizations about groups of other people and clumps everyone into that group.
At this he laughs at me and asks me how long I've been a server (FYI 6 1/2 years and much longer than him) and he can't believe that I don't think like him. I stood my ground saying that in my experience I've seen all walks of life tip me in all kinds of ways.
When I was greener I used to judge a little, I'll admit it, and then people would just surprise the heck out of me. So I stopped judging. I'm a better server and a better person for it. I've made lifelong friends with some of my customers! Now this leads me to my next rant.
I then said something to the effect of, when you get out into the real world you'll start to see people for who they really are. He stared at me with a confused look and said this IS the real world. People come in here and treat us however they want to treat us. True, I said, but this is just one part of the real world. This is just your job. Things are different outside of this restaurant.Then he said the one statement that, to me, is the equivalent of grinding your nails on a chalkboard. "But your job is who you are."
Your job is NOT who you are! Your job is only one part of you. There are so many different things that make up a person. But we let our jobs define us. We work 80 hours a week, kiss up to our boss, don't take sick days, and neglect our friends and family because of a JOB??! That's ridiculous! Why? So we can participate in society? So we can drive a fancy car, get married, settle down, with a husband or wife, have 2.5 perfect little brats, a dog, and don't forget the white picket fence around the four bedroom house. Talk about stereotypes! It's like we've all been brainwashed.
These are some of the things that make up who I am: A Christian, a granddaughter, daughter, sister, cousin, niece, friend, dog owner, photographer, travel lover, explorer, board game addict, Chinese food craver, independent, outside the box thinker, in my car music turned up really loud singer. Need I go on? I am so much more than my job. And so are you!
When I told my family I wanted to travel the world. They called a family meeting... seriously... an intervention. Because this plan just isn't normal. After listening to me talk about what my plan was, and how now was the perfect time because I didn't have any real responsibilities (IE no kids), my grandmother said, Go! Get this out of your system. Little does she know that I plan on getting the travel bug even more in my system. Ha ha. My uncle said, we'll reassess in six months. OK sure. Another member of my family said the French hate Americans. Why would you want to go to France? I seriously doubt every single French person hates Americans. Also you know who probably most of Europe really hates? People who come over there acting like they own the place. Being all snobby and rude. So I've got some walls to break down I'm sure but I'll convince people I'm not just another snob. I'm a likable person :). A family member also offered to have some sand from the Egyptian pyramids shipped to me via the internet. Um thanks for the offer I said but totally not the same!
So my point is, not everyone fits into the same box, category, (cough cough) stereotype. Not everyone can travel the world and not shower for God knows how many days. Don't let people deter you from your dreams; just shake off the different views of everyone else. Drop the stereotypes in your own life. Don't judge others. Don't let others judge you!
Sorry for not using quotations I wrote this pretty quickly.
