Orbiter Lover's World

White picket fences. Rolling green hills. Clock towers. What’s not to love about crazy golf? And where better than Cave City to satisfy this passion? It’s home to several courses. People may say “but you can do crazy golf anywhere”. But really, when was the last time you played it?

Cave City is a tourism town that sits just outside the Mammoth Cave National Park, Kentucky. It’s mainly one long road flanked by fun-for-all-the-family institutions and fast-food joints. However, for a hot and sunny day the strip is empty and lifeless.

Why aren’t the crazy golf courses open? We look for alternatives.

At one end of the road sits Dinosaur World. The other, atop a hill, is the Haunted House amusement ride. Not sure what 150 plastic life-sized dinosaur models would bring to our trip, we decide to head up towards the house.

Despite the ‘open’ sign, The Haunted House is obviously closed for business. Though perhaps looks scarier than the original designers had ever imagined it, laying here in the afternoon sunshine.

Next to it's a chairlift, which has succumbed to rust and a lack of interest. The sign suggests visitors can take this up the mountain and slide back down via a ¼ mile alpine slide. However, while most of the chairlift is in place, there’s no evidence to suggest any fun as been had here in years. The last recorded evidence was a family holiday video (c.2008) that I found on Youtube.

After a closer inspection of the Haunted House, I notice a truck down the hill creeping up towards us, the sunlight reflected from his front grill catching my attention. We hurry back down to the car. The driver angrily demands to know who we are, before the effects of his chill pill kick in.

According to him, the town has been through hardship of late. The last owners went bankrupt following dwindling visitor numbers. He’s optimistic that when summer comes, so will the paying public. He’s owns a small bar on the main strip and in return for his local history we head down.

We’d anticipated an all-American tavern complete with pool table, neon Budweiser signs and a big hairy biker grinding his younger biker chick. But what we got was El Mazatlan, a Mexican restaurant chain, one of only two restaurants/bars in Cave City with a liqueur license (bars and restaurants here have only sold alcohol since 2005).

Still it was good to hear stories of Cave City’s glory days. The guys behind the Big Lebowski convention are opening a new theme park here. I await the revival.