So after two flights where I learnt the value of leg room when you don't have it, that repeated delays in airports are the next best thing to a drill working away at corrugated iron whilst babies cry in the background, and that United Airlines' idea of eggs is grossly misinformed, we have arrived in New York city - that place some of you may have heard of.
First off, it is not as cold as everyone tried to tell us it would be. I say this cautiously as I don't want to tempt fate that it will turn on us, but I think many winters in the 'Dale has toughened up these two travellers to New York snow.
So what has happened so far I hear you ask. Well here is a brief rundown of what happens when someone is silly enough to give me a passport and a ticket to America.
Well I have resisted the urge to inform the airline they had a glaring spelling error in what I am sure is their award-winning safety video. I successfully got through security without making any inappropriate jokes or getting arrested. However my request for a high five from my travelling companion for achieving this feat was met with only disdain. I have also successfully spent American paper-money, left a tip and looked suave while doing so, and come to the acceptance that Macca's bags here are white.
We are staying adjacent to central park and the snow is beautiful. We have also walked the distance-equivalent of an Oprah announcement that she is going to Orrrrstralia. New York is mind-boggling. I have never seen so many people in my life, heard so many accents in the one place, or could have believed that a store called Century 21 was not a real estate business or that the land of chocolate alluded to in a "Simpsons" episode actually existed in the form of M&Ms world.
New Year's eve was also an experience. After trying repeatedly to get to our VIP booth at a little place called "Ruby Tuesday" we sweet-talked an American cop and got through the barricade. I then did my best celebrity walk as the other plebs were left to the cold. Buckets of beer and a bottle of vodka later we were left feeling very sore on New Year's day. But again this was an amazing experience which I am assuming could only be matched by seeing Ellen dance like a crazy person for real.
So that's about it until this point. A few more days in New York consisting of the comedy club where Jerry Seinfeld started, Green Day's "American Idiot" musical, the TV and movies tour and whatever else over-the-top American-ness we can fit in.
I am also going to try and either get a job at M&Ms world or see if United Airlines needs an official spell checker.
Hope you are all great at home and wherever else you are. Happy delayed new year, and much love.
New York Nicks, xo
