Star-Spangled Blogger

Yanks for the Memories

new-york-nicks — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 20:03:00 GMT

So after fifty-one amazing days, nearly five thousand miles of driving, several dozen cities and towns visited, more burgers than one person should eat in a limited time-frame, fourteen unnecessarily purchased novelty t-shirts, one ridiculous spending splurge, too many awesome memories to count, and a handful of brilliant people who I know will now be in my life forever... the road trip across the United States came to an end.

The final stop on the trip was Los Angeles. Hollywood consisted of several highlights, most importantly a consistent return to warmer weather. The snow had been great, but it was great to see regular sunshine again. The first notable stop off was the Warner Brothers backlot tour. Now after I got over my initial disappointment that it was not being conducted by either Daffy or Sylvester, I settled into the golf-cart for a zippy look around the lots and stages of some famous movies and TV show locations. The viewing of the "Friends" stage and re-created Central Perk set was a highlight, as was the inclusion of the original (and much cooler) Batmobile, as well as the Mystery Machine from "Scooby Doo". Unfortunately there were no mysteries to solve, except perhaps why shows like "Two and a Half Men" were still in production. "Ruff. I ron't know!"

The other prominent highlight in my quick stopover in LA consisted of walking the streets and stumbling across a little district called Beverly Hills. Now even though I had forgotten my Gucci bag and designer sunglasses I couldn't help but channel the days when my sisters forced me to watch both "Beverly Hills 90210" and "Melrose Place". Suddenly names like Brandon and Brenda were coming back to me in disturbing memories from my youth. I made sure we quickly moved on.

A final night out and a few too many Coronas later, the last day finally came. We did a bit more wandering around the streets, but knew our departure was imminent. We met some crazy Aussies on the shuttle ride to the airport, which gave me some excitement about getting home and seeing all the great people I had been missing, but it was definitely a bittersweet departure. It became mainly bitter when we boarded the plane and realised we had probably even less legroom than we did on the flight over. Fourteen hours later we touched down back in Sydney, saw a "G'day" sign in the airport, and knew we were home. The intensely humid and gross heat that awaited us outside made us even more aware we were certainly back in the land of Oz.

I don't know how to put it into words what a life-changing experience it all was. And not because of the things we saw or did. Sure I will now dream of a day where everything can be drive-thru, that meals you order in restaurants are large enough to last you a week, and that "Y'all" becomes an Australian tradition - but it was the people that made this trip so special. Just about every person we met was so hospitable, whether it be the service station attendants willing to help out a confused Aussie with the gas, the hungover people I chatted to on the plane to Memphis, or the kids with their bright beaming smiles at Diana's school, Y'ALL are awesome!

And in particular to the Memphisians (you know who you are), thank you for everything. You are all well and truly in my heart now. You'd better be planning your trip to Australia already!

So that's it. Thanks for having us, thanks for reading, and in honour of the joyous union of the Aussies and the Americans I suggest a re-writing of one of your most well-known songs to the following: "Sweet Home Alabamaustralia". We'll sing it at karaoke!

Peace, love and fries.

Nick, xoxo

Californy'all

new-york-nicks — Wed, 9 Feb 2011 17:11:00 GMT

Hello, bored blog readers!

First up, the title of what will be my penultimate American ponderings is a little dedication to all you US peeps and my new favourite greeting. Enjoy!

As I left Vegas I resisted the urge to put some more money into an Aussie poker machine and tried to adjust to the flood of natural light that hit my face and my empty pockets. It was time for our final... very long journey in Frosty (our Toyota Corolla-looking Cadillac). Our destination: San Francisco.

The journey was fairly standard: wrong side of the road, many American flags and so on. However, it was certainly nice to be seeing some more green out the window. But it was on the final leg of the journey where the real treat unleashed itself. It was the sort of sunset you see in movies and documentaries about the Beach Boys, but it was glorious and well worth the 9 hours of driving we had endured.

A good night's sleep was then in store, and for me the touristy thing I had been looking forward to the most on this trip was on the agenda the next day: The Charles M. Schulz museum. There are very few people I would attribute the word "genius" to, but he is one of them. Give me the profound philosophical musings on every aspect of life from Charlie Brown and Snoopy over any other "classic" literary work any day. It was simple, humble, fascinating and touching, just like the "Peanuts" comic strip, and it came with the added bonus of a trip across the famous Golden Gate bridge. The only downside was finding that all the t-shirts I wanted to buy were not in my size. Oh well, I had accumulated enough novelty shirts by this point anyway.

Next stop was to return Frosty. It was an emotional departure to the little engine that could... and did get us from one side of the vast country to the other. In my best American posture, Frosty, I salute you. We quickly missed him even more, as Ash - who had joined us in Vegas and was now firmly entrenched in the Roadside Project happenings - and I were treated to a cab ride straight from the Steve Mcqueen movie "Bullitt". Many harrowing minutes later we made it back to our hotel.

The rest of the time in San Fran mostly involved seeing the sights around Pier 39. This involved the rainforest cafe (mere words cannot describe), several aquariums, and attempting to win on the world's biggest skill tester. Let's just say many dollars were frustratingly wasted. I was also taken in by some brilliant haggling in an antiquities store. But in all fairness I shall be the proud owner of an original and signed LP of the Foo Fighters' debut album in a few months - bank balance permitting. The time in San Fran was capped of with the ubiquitous visit to Alcatraz, and luckily the few times I broke the speed limit in our road trip didn't come up as an issue.

So we're on the home stretch. Next time I write shall most likely be upon arrival back in Australia. I know the last little bit in the US of A is going to be amazing, and I can't wait for it.

Miss y'all, and catch you on the flip side!

Nick, xo

Beer and Gloating in Las Vegas

new-york-nicks — Sun, 6 Feb 2011 16:28:00 GMT

Hey y'all!

Before you ask, no I am not sick of that greeting yet. In fact it has really grown on me on this trip, kind of like the urge not to supersize anything over here.

So we made our way to Flagstaff, Arizona, and apparently the snow had taken such a liking to us that it decided to hitch a ride. Now I know this sounds all poetic and everything, but it wasn't very conducive to travelling an hour to see that famous big hole they call the Grand Canyon. A day spent at the movies was thus on the cards as the ground turned white once again and made the roads less than driveable. Luckily the following day saw the weather clear, and we found that the landmark was indeed aptly named. Such is the way my brain works however, I did spend most of the time admiring the canyon with the "Canyonero" song from 'The Simpsons' playing on repeat in my head.

The following day was spent once again on the road, where we saw more flat country and the ubiquitous tumbleweeds that stroll the highways. Of particular note was the mutant tumbleweed that decided to tackle our car Frosty head on. A quick explosion of grass over our car later it was safe to say Frosty had come out victorious.

And so after many hours we reached our next destination. Perhaps you have heard of Vegas? Well, if not, it is a place that prides itself on taking every dime you own... and not to mention the shirt off your back. It didn't know what was in store for it when I arrived however.

Ok, so it wasn't that much. A quick tour around the establishment we were staying in known as "Stratosphere" had me coming to the conclusion I really had no place being in a Casino. I had no idea how any of the games worked, and I was more concerned with why so many irritating noises had to be contained in such close proximity to each other. What was a little Aussie boy to do? Of course, find an Aussie pokie machine and press the buttons until his fortune was won. I'm going to put it down to ridiculous skill, but others may call it beginner's luck. Whatever you label it though, I was very quickly clapping like a crazy person at the machine as it made good noises and gave me money for doing absolutely nothing. A few drinks thrown in and it had been a very successful evening. But my celebrations were short-lived, and my gloating ceased, as the place sucked that money back out of me over the next few days. But overall I put breaking even down as a definite straight flush.

Vegas also included a lunch at the "Top of the World Tower", which is one of those vertigo-inspired restaurants that spins many metres above the ground as you eat. Eliminating any need to walk seems to be a very American thing to do. We only saw this more as we toured "The Strip" later that night. Dazzling lights and outside escalators were scattered everywhere, and my efforts to inspire people to move their own feet by using the stairs fell on deaf shoes.

So the tour to Vegas came to an end, and the lack of natural sunlight for a few days was gladly farewelled. Next on the agenda was the final long drive heading to San Francisco. We were getting close to farewelling Frosty, and alas the end of the trip was drawing nigh. The only real plan was to finish on a massive high!

Bring it on. 'Til next time, people. Be seeing you again soon!

Nick xo

Oklahoma's Odyssey

new-york-nicks — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 15:03:00 GMT

Apparently some famous guy in history made some long trek and got a book out of it. I am pretty sure our trip along Route 66 is also worthy of the same treatment.

So as we left Tulsa we began the journey along that famous road where you are supposed to get your kicks. I didn't see anyone playing soccer, but I'm a tourist, so what do I know. One important rule was instigated on the drive of the most American road there is - if Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen was to appear on my ipod, the song must be listened to. I dubbed it: 'The Springsteen Effect'. A good rule of thumb in general, but one that in this instance would result in immediate dismissal from the vehicle if ignored.

The first significant stop along the road was at the very first "66" sign we saw. We pulled over and put our hazard lights on - both to let people know about our car being stationary, and to warn them we were tourists taking photos in front of a pole. The second stop left me speechless, I mean what other reaction do you have when you see the world's largest "soda pop" (soft drink for those playing at home). After having what I think is the world's best roadside burger, I instigated a challenge to America to better this effort. Several diners later, this still hasn't happened.

I have learnt several things along this historic drive. The tendency for Americans to put flags everywhere has not decreased. I suggest to Prime Minister Julia we have oversize Australian flags at fifty metre intervals along Australian highways post-haste. I have also learnt that American skill-testers are rigged. To that little hillbilly diner with its waitress who had "just got off the phone with her lawyer"... I hope you enjoy the eight quarters you took from me. Also, if you could ease up a smidge on the scary clientele, and the green tractor-themed country music, I would really appreciate it.

We also stopped off at the Route 66 Museum, which was an incredibly quaint look at the history of a very long stretch of road. I think the greatest thing about the road is the service station attendants; they were all so nice and very willing to help out a confused Aussie with which was the correct nozzle. I am now a master at this! My one complaint about the road itself: the speed limit. If there was a bit more to see I might enjoy going that slowly. My suggestion - the speed limit should be a convenient total of 66!

When we arrived at Oklahoma we spent a day taking in two important museums: which were, how should I say, at very different ends of the spectrum. The first was the Cowboy Museum, which was not as scary as it sounds. It was actually quite an interesting and leather-laden look at American history. Again however the photos prove we really should have never been let out of the country.

The second museum was the memorial to the Oklahoma bombing. Walking around the site you could already feel the enormity of what had occurred, but that was only exemplified once we went inside. The tour starts with an actual audio recording from a meeting of a building opposite the tragedy. From the moment of the haunting sound of the explosion, through the stories of tragedy, pain and heroics I barely drew breath. Tears were shed, and I left incredibly moved. Well done Oklahoma on a beautiful tribute to a terrible event.

We left Oklahoma the next day and many hours later arrived in a small town in Texas. That night we got into our limo and headed for dinner. What's that? That needs a bit of explaining? Well basically we were going to drive to the Texas Ranch House, but when they found out we were coming they offered to give us a limo - complete with bull horns! Ok, there may be a bit more detail to that story, but I choose to omit it. As we entered the restaurant, laden with animal heads, we dubbed it the "Room of Death" and wondered if they were ever going to stop looking at us. A wise decision not to take the giant steak challenge later, as well as drinking out of a boot and being serenaded by cowboys and cowgirls, we made our way back to the hotel. Oh yes, we were in the limo again.

So that about brings us up-to-date. We declined further limo offers and hit the road in Frosty again. Next stop is that big hole they like to call the Grand Canyon.

Miss you all, and shall blog again soon.

Peace out, y'all xoxo

Chips and Tulsa

new-york-nicks — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 10:16:00 GMT

"It's time to get my fuss on!"

Yes, that is my new favourite expression from the land of stars and stripes. Hello, everyone! Apologies for the lack of blogging-related goodness for a while; I am sure you have all been missing it terribly...

Ok, now that my delusions are out of the way we can begin. The trip had now brought us to our final few days in Memphis. Before we were going to leave we had two major events to partake in, one was an epic party, the other was going to Diana's school as Australian "show and tell". Fortunately it mainly became about the showing, as it quickly became apparent not many of the kids could work out our accent, and were quite sure we were in fact from Africa. The day consisted of games, singing and generally observing the awesome teacher that Diana is. I can honestly say that if I was a junior school student there I would not be trying her patience. For one thing I would be having too much fun learning how to sing!

But the day was, above and beyond anything else, incredibly humbling. It is obviously not the most well-off school in the Land of Opportunity, but that was not stopping any of these kids. I saw more bright smiling faces than at a fluoro party, and to see the background of some of the students it was amazing. I can say without any embarrassment I shed a tear or two at how brave some of these kids are. Westside Wildcats, rock on!

And then came the party...

[Events removed]

So the day after the party was incredibly difficult, and not just because of the hangover. After seeing so many great sights in America, we had finally met some even greater people. It was impossibly hard to leave them, and I know we will see each other again soon. You guys know who you are - if I start mentioning names I might cry again.

The next day we made our way to St Louis. It was a really pretty city which actually reminded me of Boston. It was here that we again found snow, which while nice we had come to the conclusion we were a little over. We took in a concert, which I will allow Sarah to explain - I know I won't do it justice. Apart from that we took in the world's biggest (and seemingly most useless) arch. I kept waiting for the other half to appear and the world's biggest Macca's to rise up out of the ground, but it never eventuated. We also took many more stupid photos, mostly centred around the statues of the St Louis Cardinals baseball team.

Following St Louis we achieved one of my lifelong dreams - we went through Springfield, USA. Now unfortunately there wasn't really anywhere to stop so I could take a photo next to the welcome sign, so hopefully we will find one of the other eighteen Springfields that seem to exist. We also lived out a "Friends" dream and spent some time in Tulsa.

Next on the agenda is Oklahoma City, where we hope the sunny weather will continue, and that Route 66 lives up to its reputation.

Until then... look after yourselves, xoxo

Tennesseeing is Believing

new-york-nicks — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 15:25:00 GMT

Hey coolest people

Hope all the Aussies are doing well, and welcome to the new American friends I have made - you are joining literally a legion of loyal readers of the Star-Spangled Blogger. At this point I should clarify that in Australia "legion" means my family and a couple of my bored and easily-distracted friends who are trying to kill a few minutes at work.

So after we successfully navigated our way out of Chicago we made tracks to the American version of the Great Southern Land - otherwise known as Memphis, Tennessee. It was a hefty nine-hour drive, and we were more than a little excited to finally get out of the car and greet our generous and unsuspecting host Diana. We were ready to really start embracing the true American culture. As we sat down to Chinese dinner that night at the Panda Buffet I decided that the true American culture would probably be waiting at least one more night. I also decided that my hopes to see a real-life Panda in the restaurant were soon to be quashed.

Our first day in Memphis had us spending it in true American style by doing virtually nothing, and we followed this up with the most Southern activity we could think of; we went to church. Now don't stop reading, it's not as dire as you think - our US host had a choir rehearsal that was taking place in a church. Now again, don't stop reading - we thought it only polie to attend. As we stepped over the threshold the first hurdle was achieved - the church SWAT team did not ascend on us. As I tried desperately to rack my brain to recount the Hail Mary I found myself coming up empty. I had to go to plan B: pulling out my St Christopher's medal with the hope I might be able to blend in. As we left an hour or so later I felt like an underage kid who had successfully made it out of the club at the end of the night with his now foolproof fake ID.

Our next major stopoff in Memphis seemed fairly obvious, and seriously, who amongst you could turn down the claim of "America's Number One Zoo"? Neither could we. As we proudly entered the domain of what must have been a plethora of the world's most amazing creatures we pondered why the establishment was ensconced in cheap-looking and confusing Egyptian paraphernalia. We were soon to find out the zoo's claim may have been a tad melodramatic. Maybe it was the time of day, maybe it was that there was still snow on the ground, but the zoo was, how shall I put it, scarce to say the least. Our first stop off was Cat Country, where I was given the impression we were going to either see some cats, or see some countries. After several empty enclosures we found a Puma and a Snow Leopard who were lazing about with a look of "You really paid money for this?" that they threw at us before going back to sleep. More invisible animals later, as well as fish and then some bears who were beating the crap out of each other, we left the zoo noting down the management's email to send them a querying message about their "number one" slogan.

Over the next few days we decided to take inspiration from the Memphis zoo's animal population and hibernate. The extensive driving on the wrong side of the road had finally taken its toll. Over the following days we took in Beale Street, where I did my best to look as affected by the blues as possible. Taking in as much music history as possible we also went and visited Graceland, and I am sure Elvis would forgive me for accidentally driving on his driveway; the security guard eventually seemed to.

The rest of the time in Memphis has been about soaking up the real American way of life. We shopped at a Wal-Mart, got lost in a Wal-Mart, and thanked Australia for not having Wal-Marts. One night consisted of several games of ten-pin bowling - an ability I am thankful the Wii has kept me mildly skilled in; at least enough to blend in to the sea of scary "league" bowlers who surrounded us. We also took in our first Casino experience - my attempts to look like a card shark went unsuccessful in this venture.

We have also been really fortunate to meet some lovely people here in Memphis. Diana has been a fantastic host, and has been at work probably just enough so that my snickering at her use of "y'all" didn't get annoying. Special mention also to Mario ("got yo' back, bro'!"), our waitress friend Lauren from Fox and Hound (which became our local for the time we have been here), as well as Rachel and Michael. We're also looking forward to meeting more great people at the official combined-birthday party for Diana and myself on Friday (the two we have already had just didn't quite seem like enough).

But I have to close this one with the three highlights of Memphis.

Number 1: The Outback Steakhouse. Yes, this was the Americans' take on an Australian restaurant. Unfortunately the reference to a Koala "Bear", the use of "Shrimp on the Barbie", and the convict-themed portraits that adorned the walls put this into the fail category. The only thing that could have saved the establishment was if the '89 Grand Final between the Raiders and Tigers had been on the big screen. It wasn't.

Number 2: The American flags that are EVERYWHERE! Normally I would refrain from using capitals so haphazardly, but this situation calls for it to explain the gravity of the situation. Every time I turned around I saw those stars and stripes staring me in the face, and not just in a regular-sized flag, but a huge flag that had me wondering how the pole was keeping it upright. I just wanted to say to the Americans "It's ok. You got us. We're already here." Either that or maybe they just really easily forgot where they are.

Number 3: Drive-Thru ATMs. Just take a moment to process this. I know I did. Drive-Thru ATMs. This is as it sounds; driving up to an ATM as if it were a petrol bowser and using an ATM from inside your car. The stupidity of this as I imagined it came to fruition as we went through one day with our host and watched the lady in front of us practically fall out of the car. I just wonder how much extra car insurance is to include the "lazy policy". I guess the drive-thru doctors will take care of everything.

So that's nearly it. A couple more nights in Memphis and then we hit the road again. Thanks to everyone here, and just so you don't take any offence Memphisians, it's ok, I am just as cynical about my own country as well.

I do miss it though.

Blog again soon everybody.

Much love. Nick, xoxo

Photos: RoadSide Project

new-york-nicks — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 01:13:00 GMT

Gone with the Windy City

new-york-nicks — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 09:29:00 GMT

Greetings!

So... driving in blizzards, Batman, and "pumping gas"; where to begin?

Taking upon my five minutes of experience driving on the wrong side of the road we jumped in the car and headed off down the wrong side of the highway. It actually didn't take too long to get used to - much like how disturbingly edible the American hotdogs are, and how disturbingly unedible the American pretzels aren't. But I have covered that ground before.

Several hours had passed incident-free, and then the snow came. At first we were taken in by its simple elegance and beauty. This lasted as long as it took to start turning the road from the more familiar colour to a very apparent white. All was going fine until one of the many trucks that litter the roads decided to test its ice skating skills. As the car in front of us managed to stop just in time let's just say we weren't quite as fortunate. A tiny nudge on its bumper had us using our best Aussie accent to talk our way out of the situation. Luckily their car was fine and we all just able to mosey on.

Speaking of the highways, I think they are actually just masquerading as truck parking lots. I have never seen so many in my life. The ratio of truckers' hats to regular hats that must be on the American highways would be astonishing.

The rest of the trip went event-free and we checked into a hotel half way to Chicago. The dietary quality that you would expect on a road trip continued into a vending machine dinner, but we were just happy to sleep. The next morning had me brushing off the layer of snow that had found its home on top of our car. My initial attempts to brush it as far as possible off the car were short-lived as my hands began to freeze. I just got it off as quickly as possible and got into the warmth of the car's heating.

So day two of the road trip in our newly-dubbed "Frosty" Toyota Corolla was off and running. The first task before we really got going was to purchase an ipod cable - our appreciation of the three CDs we had been able to buy in Boston was wearing thin. After several stops - and being asked if I was British - we were in luck and off again.

This trip went more smoothly than the day before. The highlights included stopping at a real American roadstop and my attempts to blend in. Apparently my trucker hat and 8-day beard growth did little to help me. We also had yet another meal we weren't able to finish. I have come to the conclusion that the excess-philosophy that exists here extends prominently to food. It also is even apparent in the gum - which at this point we certainly needed to get rid of the taste of whatever we had just eaten. The only other main dilemma at this point was figuring out how the petrol pumps worked. Playing the "I'm Australian" card got me out of trouble however. Unfortunately there was nothing to fix the freezing hand problem; except swapping them every ten seconds or so.

As we entered Chicago it was hard to fathom just how industrial it is. Nothing but power poles and exhaust towers as far as the eye could see. It was a weird juxtaposition as they were silhoutted in front of a dazzling sunset. We made our way safely in through more tolls than I cared to pay, and it was then that our biggest hurdle was about to befall us.

We had both commented that the place looked like Gotham City. Who knew we were about to see more of it than we were probably supposed to. When Homer on the GPS led us astray we had to rely on our senses. As we got deeper into the underbelly of the Chicago industry we realised our senses may have been a bit tired. Seeing a "local traffic only" sign we figured "Well, we're here. I guess that makes us local." Ten harrowing minutes later we emerged out the other side having talked to a construction worker and driven past one of the key locations in "The Dark Knight". In hindsight it's a good story. At the time it was not.

Today we had a look around a bit of Chicago and took in the very cold weather. Its title as "The Windy City" is accurate. And next stop is a nine-hour drive to Memphis. Wish us luck!

Still miss you all, and will write again soon!

Much love. Nick, xo

Bost-on, Bost-off

new-york-nicks — Fri, 7 Jan 2011 14:32:00 GMT

Hey y'all!

First up, I hope you enjoyed the best American greeting I could muster, and second up I hope you enjoyed even more the "Karate Kid" reference in the title!

So the time in New York came to an end, and as I breathed in that last bit of cold, polluted air we jumped on the train and headed for Boston. The train ride was a serene mix of beautiful scenery, falling in and out of sleep, and conquering the world of computer Solitaire.

When we arrived the first job was to check into our hotel. The second task was to celebrate raucously at the fact our hotel was equipped with a fully-functioning shower and a laundry. Boston was already off to an impressive start.

The first day in Boston consisted of undertaking the Freedom Trail tour. I quickly discovered this was aptly and accurately named. It did follow a trail, and I did indeed feel free while doing it. It was an enchanting and humbling trip around the historical sites of Boston. As we took in the quaint buildings and cobblestone roads it felt like we were in the small towns of the UK. Very pretty. We also took in the markets on the way, where I found all manner of stalls selling t-shirts and other paraphernalia ensconsed in puns that seemed to be written for my own heart. Highlights included a bead store called "The Bead of my Heart" and a sock store called "Sock it to Me." Boston was going up and up in my impressions. It was showing me "Who's the Boston."

Day 2 had us picking up the car that was to become our chariot for the next month. As I stepped into the wrong side of it for the first time it felt a tad odd, but as I realised how effective the car's heating was this quickly became less of an issue. Hopefully soon we will know driving on the wrong side of the road like the back of our hands. Or perhaps it is like the front of our hands over here.

We then took a stroll and I started to like Boston even more. It just felt a bit less crazy than New York. It actually reminded me of home a little; people would give you a smile as they raced to get out of the cold. As we got a cab the taxi drivers also made Boston seem even nicer. They were all keen for a chat with a couple of lost Aussies.

Our destination now was Harvard. Evidently it's a university or something. Sarah was particularly keen to purchase a jumper - apparently so people here and at home would think she was smart. This illusion was partly undone as she tried to push the quite obviously "pull" door on the way out of the store. Definitely one of the highlights of the trip for me so far. I was also going to buy one of the Harvard beanies with earflaps so that I could look both smart and stupid at the same time. However I decided against this when I realised I would still be wearing something from Harvard. A highlight of this tour was the Museum of Natural History, which was unfortunately cut short when I couldn't stop laughing at someone with uncontrollable hiccups. In case you were wondering both the person concerned and myself made it out fine.

The night finished with a second trip to our new favourite restaurant called "American Joe's". Tonight for me it was good old American Mac and Cheese, and oh yes, it was good. Tomorrow we farewell Boston and start the road trip for real. Next major stop: Chicago. We will have one night's stop-over in small-town America on the way, where I will probably really fit in with the locals. I have been dared not to shave until we reach Memphis, which is another few days away. So far my attempt to mimic Dr Beadface from "Scrubs" has been going for a week and has me looking a tad seedy to say the least. But who knows, a few more days and maybe I will be able to pull of the half-nerdy and half-rugged effect that Conan O'Brien has got going on. Time will tell.

So until next time, stay safe... and stay Australian. Remember, you can't spell "USA" without A-U-S.

Peace out, beautiful people! New York Nicks, xo.

Everything Old is New York Again

new-york-nicks — Tue, 4 Jan 2011 17:02:00 GMT

Greetings from State-side!

So having only limited time on the internet I am going to try and get everything down that has happened over the last couple of days. Let's hope I do a better job of that than I have trying to decipher the difference between the American paper money that all looks the same.

We had our first cold day today, something I guess we should have expected after we tried to claim that New York's cold really had nothing. Apparently that's what happens when the Big Apple takes a bite out of you. I hope that metaphor works as well as I think it does.

So in between trying to inspire New Yorkers into the idea of “escalator etiquette”, these two Armidalians having been trying to squeeze in as much America-related extravagance as possible. An extended walk through Central Park resulted in way too many photos and quite possibly a pinch of frostbite, and we resisted the urge to be those truly lazy people who take the carriage tour around while covering their legs with an “I love New York” blanket. We also sampled both a hot dog and a pretzel from the local street establishments. Let’s just say we won’t be sampling the pretzels again.

I also got my first taste of a musical. And I have to admit that I absolutely loved Green Day’s “American Idiot”. It was like going to a concert, but instead of grasping a lighter in a sweat-filled moshpit, I had a playbill and a guy next to me with one of those stupid miniature binoculars. However, my theatre-loving aficionado – also known as Sarah – informed me afterwards that it wasn’t really a proper musical. I came to the conclusion that that’s probably why I liked it so much. Either way I can now proudly say I have seen a show on Broadway. The extra special treat was when Billie Joe – who was playing one of the lead roles – did an encore performance of “Time of Your Life” with the rest of the cast. Very cool.

Today saw us take in the Movie and TV tour with our delightful host Gary. After utilising my basically-useless-unless-on-a-tv-tour-knowledge to answer the first two trivia questions correctly, we saw many cool sites. These included the “Ghostbusters” firehouse, the Cosbys’ front door, the apartment building of my man-crush Will Smith from “I am Legend”, and the apartment building from “Friends”. It was also topped off with the inspiration for the Soup Nazi, and a slice of real American pizza, which is as stupidly big and delicious as it looks. Tonight we took in a comedy club which included as many laughs and disdainful stares for obnoxious audience members as you would expect.

So that’s about it. Tomorrow we head for Boston and the real RoadSide Project road trip begins. It will be sure to include our mascot Homer, as well as a cheat-sheet reminding us to drive on the right-hand side of the road. I’m sure “Born in the USA” by the boss Bruce Springsteen will also make at least one or two appearances. I leave New York with way too many photos (some of which I will get online at some point to prove I am not making all this up), some unforgettable memories (and some forgotten ones from New Year’s), and one piece of humble advice to the biggest city in the world: Honk your horns more, New Yorkers. Seriously.

Hope everybody is splendiferous. Hope the blog gives you a minute or two to waste at work. And I hope that everything a day ahead of us is treating you well.

Miss you all!

New York Nicks, xo

American Idiots

new-york-nicks — Sun, 2 Jan 2011 08:46:00 GMT

So after two flights where I learnt the value of leg room when you don't have it, that repeated delays in airports are the next best thing to a drill working away at corrugated iron whilst babies cry in the background, and that United Airlines' idea of eggs is grossly misinformed, we have arrived in New York city - that place some of you may have heard of.

First off, it is not as cold as everyone tried to tell us it would be. I say this cautiously as I don't want to tempt fate that it will turn on us, but I think many winters in the 'Dale has toughened up these two travellers to New York snow.

So what has happened so far I hear you ask. Well here is a brief rundown of what happens when someone is silly enough to give me a passport and a ticket to America.

Well I have resisted the urge to inform the airline they had a glaring spelling error in what I am sure is their award-winning safety video. I successfully got through security without making any inappropriate jokes or getting arrested. However my request for a high five from my travelling companion for achieving this feat was met with only disdain. I have also successfully spent American paper-money, left a tip and looked suave while doing so, and come to the acceptance that Macca's bags here are white.

We are staying adjacent to central park and the snow is beautiful. We have also walked the distance-equivalent of an Oprah announcement that she is going to Orrrrstralia. New York is mind-boggling. I have never seen so many people in my life, heard so many accents in the one place, or could have believed that a store called Century 21 was not a real estate business or that the land of chocolate alluded to in a "Simpsons" episode actually existed in the form of M&Ms world.

New Year's eve was also an experience. After trying repeatedly to get to our VIP booth at a little place called "Ruby Tuesday" we sweet-talked an American cop and got through the barricade. I then did my best celebrity walk as the other plebs were left to the cold. Buckets of beer and a bottle of vodka later we were left feeling very sore on New Year's day. But again this was an amazing experience which I am assuming could only be matched by seeing Ellen dance like a crazy person for real.

So that's about it until this point. A few more days in New York consisting of the comedy club where Jerry Seinfeld started, Green Day's "American Idiot" musical, the TV and movies tour and whatever else over-the-top American-ness we can fit in.

I am also going to try and either get a job at M&Ms world or see if United Airlines needs an official spell checker.

Hope you are all great at home and wherever else you are. Happy delayed new year, and much love.

New York Nicks, xo

Packing Duck

new-york-nicks — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 00:58:00 GMT

So here it is, the beginnings of a journey for someone who realistically shouldn't be let out of the country. This first blog is going to be short and incoherent, because it is well past midnight, I am over-tired, and I have to get up in a ridiculously offensive amount of time. And let's face it, who reads inane blogs anyway?

But if you're one of those that does then congratulations, it probably won't get more inane than this! After I struggled with finally getting my backpack to zip up I realised maybe I didn't need all those hair products after all. That's right, this is the beginning of an overseas adventure that has all potential for "international incident" written all over it. I just have to make a mental note not to bring out the 'two bombs walk into a bar' jokes until I am outside the airport.

Who knows what adventures await the SideProject team on the RoadSideProject trek across American soil. Stay tuned to find out...

Oh, and look after yourselves :)

Nicky, xo