Melissa's Travels

I´m homesick. Not in a ¨I wish I could catch the next flight home and end this experience early¨kind of way, but in an ¨oh it would be really nice to go to the gym, sleep in my own bed, pick up cheap shampoo at Target, hug my family, hang out with friends at Mick Kelly´s¨kind of way. Really I just want a mini 2 hour vacation from Europe without the reality of flight time and jet lag. I feel guilty for writing any of this. How can I not enjoy every single moment of this experience when so many people would kill for this opportunity? Why am I wasting time thinking about life in Seattle when I should be enjoying the history, culture and people that surround me halfway around the world from home? Because I´m human. Because as much as I hate to admit it, Europe will never feel completely as comfy as Burien. And life is life even amidst the historical monuments of Madrid and orange tree lines streets of Andalusia. Ghosts from home pop up around unexpected corners, the spectrum of human emotion eventually arises and you realize that coping skills, support systems and a healthy balance between optimism and realism is necessary even when you´re having the ¨experience of a lifetime.¨

I was lucky enough to be greeted last Monday by my best friend and beloved travel companion--Tina. Working in Frankfurt for the past three months as an aupair, she was fortunately able to snag some vacation time and fulfill her longing to see Madrid--with yours truly serving as her tour guide. Our week together was jam packed with adventures. We toured Madrid´s top museums, the oasis of the city (Retiro Park), took photos of our favorite Madrid locations from European Quarter ´05 (Hostal Lisboa and our beloved bodega to name a few) and dined daily at our all time favorite ¨restaurant¨in Madrid--Maoz, where you can purchase a whole wheat pita filled with deliciously healthy falafels and jam packed with veggies. A definite MUST if you visit Madrid.

I also filled Tina in on my adventures from living in Madrid last spring--my barrio Vallehermoso, favorite tapas destination (El Tigre), my preferred cafe for journaling, favorites of Retiro Park, and of course we rediscovered our mutual love for the Madrid nightlife at DREAMS and Joy. Sadly, dancing alongside my 20 year old students we also were faced with the undeniable reality that our energy levels and sense of responsibility truly have brought us halfway to 30. Back in ´05 we were overwhelmed by the creepy old men that crowded the dance floors, and now only 4 years later we are faced with the worry that all the guys are younger than they appear and that now we are the ones treading dangerously close to oldness and creepiness territory.

On Saturday, I had to bid farewell to Tina (thankfully we´ll reunite in a few short weeks when I´m in Germany) and coincidentally this is when homesickness arrived at my door. Being a T.A. has more lonely moments than I´d imagined and I certainly enjoyed having the week to confide in a peer of my own. However, despite these challenges I am finding a lot of joy in getting to know all of the students and watching their own European adventures unfold. It´s certainly a smaller group (only 12 students whereas there were almost 30 on my trip!), but this also means students are making new friends outside the group as well, which I think will truly benefit them in the long run. A smaller group also means less anxiety on my part when we´re traveling together. Less chance of students getting stuck on trains or seperated during tours. Less tests to correct and fewer numbers to add when taking care of the finances side of things. It´s hard not to compare this group to my own ´05 experience, but having the patience to let friendships manifests and group dynamics work themselves out is a good challenge for me in itself. I am thriving on the continous challenge that are coming my way and appreciating the chance to balance traveling with the group with times of initiated solitude. I´m finding both of them are essential for my ¨success¨and contentment as a traveler.

This trip is truly like no other I have been on. When I first traveled to Europe in ´05 my parents warned me that the reason I found so much joy and freedom in the experience was because for the first time in quite awhile I was not working and had such minimal responsibilities. I shrugged off their comments, completely convinced that being abroad was entirely responsibile for my newfound inner peace. However, living in Spain last year made me realize that perhaps there was some truth to my parent´s words. Like I said above, the stresses of life occur regardless of where in the world you are. Being in Europe is not a magical cure for reduced anxiety. However, I have been happy to discover that even when my life abroad is filled with more responsibilty, I am still able to find joy and peace in much of what I´m learning and experiencing. Right now I am appreciating the chance to balance the responsbility of work with the carefree feelings of traveling abroad. This will be great practice if I wind up working in Madrid this fall teaching English. In the end work is work and I don´t want to have a false hope that work will be completely easy just because it is unfolding in a city I love. It will also be interesting to see how my professional life unfolds in a city that never sleeps. A city that draws you into the fiesta current and can easily tow you under when you´re blinded by the music and dancing and sangria and carpe diem attitude. But I´m accepting that although I´ll never be a true ¨Madrileña,¨I can still consider the city as my 2nd home. I´ve loved seeing the students responses to Madrid the past couple of weeks. Madrid is a city where the experience simply does not translate, you have to go to know and you are bound to love it or hate it. I´m realizing that for me, Madrid is not a city I like to visit but more a city I like to live in. Once considered ¨my lover, Madrid¨my affinity for the city has now faded to a feeling of comfort, appreciation and sustenance. The rose colored glasses have come off, but my heart will forever skip a beat every time I hear mention of my beloved city.